BodyRock.TV

“Another couple we know were so jealous that they basically agreed that neither one of them would workout for fear that in doing so they would become more attractive and loose each other.” This really made me lol.

I agree even though I am not married. Who knows since the divorce rate is so high in America maybe if more people were actually physically attracted to their special someone they might be able to stay together instead of becoming a statistic.

Great post I enjoyed reading it!

I totally agree with Fredrerick; I believe that it doesn’t matter your situation, the body you have is yours and you should take care of it.

There’s nothing better than maintaining a good physical condition; you simply have a better quality of life doing that!

Peace!

Hey,
That is awesome to read that kind of male-thinking :). I agree with what you said that all is about energy and that you get from life as much as you’re willing to give of yourself.
Thank you both for this amazing site! Zuzana, you rock! And Frederick keep up the spirit :)

Angel

Hy,
I also agree with Frederick,and I think that it is very important to stay fit,especially for your relationship because once the passion gets low you need to stay interesting to your partner and he will see your work on your self as work on your relationship. But it’s not all that simple, our looks and preferences in partners are results of our long past as human beings and our evolution. During past our ancestors didn’t have much signs to tell them which of possible partners are healthy enough to be able to give birth to healthy children who will continue our species in the future, so the only thing they could rely on is peoples physic. That kind of adaptation problems that our ancestors had to face, had influenced on how we choose our partners today; women pick strong, athletic build guys which is a sign they can provide for our children in the future, and man choose women who have ideal waist-to-hip ratio which is a sign they are healthy enough to have babies. Even though that is a primitive way of thinking, that is a fact, so man and women try to look their best before they find their husband or five and than they stop trying. But we don’t live in the past any more and we don’t have to store fat for winter any more :) ,so we owe it to ourselves and our partners to take care of our bodies and stay healthy!
Best,
Jessie

I agree completely with Frederick. As a statistic myself it was incredible to me how unattractive it was for my wife to stay in the unhealthy lifestyle we were living after I made the choice to change. This wasn’t the only reason our marriage failed but it was a big part.

wow this is deep.! it also makes a lot of sense for me. You are so motivational Frederick..gracias(thanks)

I loved this! Our marriage is VERY important to us. I WANT to look good for him. I love the way he looks at me now, but I just think how much more he will love going out with me on a date night when I reach my fitness goals. I also want to be healthy so we can enjoy doing even more fun things together. He is my best friend and I want to enjoy every moment I have with him. The healthier I am the better I can do that.
Thank you Frederick for your wonderful post!

only one thing, i think the problem it´s not to keep your fitness goal or not, the problem is believe in yourself , no matter the kind of the body you have, if we have a good body , beutiful shape , because we like to care of ourselves like that , it´s ok, but we can not be slaves from the others, it is acceptable be slaves from ourselves, because we are always prisioners from something, it´s not the problem either. The problem is , we don´t matter with ourselves, our body, our mind, we always worried about what another person is thinking about us, it´s important as well, a good self criticism, listen another person things about us, but we can not depend from another person , like a psychological dependence, maybe that´s why exist, not every body of course, but several divorces, maybe came from this insecurity, always blame the other for our insecurities.

We dont hang out with many friend any more, we are bz with building out future together and all people who is not on the same boat with our life style fall of like a have baggage. It’s all about us now, what we like to do and how we like to spend time…. And if some body have a problem with it, guess what? They are the one who have a problem…

Healthy life its a life style, you have to do it all the way, and nothing wrong with loving your body, and your body will love you back, by giving you most beautiful confidence….

It seems to me that alot of women and I think men also, are terribly offended if anyone (even a partner) suggest they lose a few pounds or go to the gym. Its been my experience that the initiator of such comments is considered shallow and rude and in need of relationship counciling. This could be a regional attitude or just my bad luck.

Hi Joshua32, you are right, people get offended really easily by such comments, but I believe that if your partner really cares about the relationship, he won’t lie just to make you feel better for a while. I would not be that honest in new relationship, but in the people are together already for some time, I think they should be more honest.

What about staying fit to be healthy and live as long as possible with your spouse and children??

Yeah you are right! We have to be the best version of ourself. But what does this mean? Best Body? Best mental abilities? Best whatever?

Until i have an answer to these questions i start transforming my body to be attractive ;-)

Yes i agree to what Zuzana said, the relationship if it is one that is very serious and loving should be open and truthful to each other.

Luke123, I think that physical exercise is not only about the look you can achieve. It is making you stronger from inside out. Transforming your body takes discipline and self control. Not everyone has that, but anyone can try.

Lovemaking is a very physical activity. Any man that says he does not like strong fit women has never spent the night getting totally exhausted by some very fit woman who never seems to get tired!

Dear Zuzana,
i have gone mad of your body. i have been watching your videos everyday and i am trying it as it is. but is this exercises are for women only or men can also use these.

regards,

Jareer

If your partner leaves and you are hot then what does that mean? For some looks are not everything. Sadly money plays more of a factor when it comes to men getting women not looks. Look at Donald Trump. He gets hot women not off of his looks lol. I say stay single and be hot and have friends. It is better in the long run than marriage in America.

If you are hot and your partner leaves you anyway, it probably means that you are a jerk :)

Lol not at all true. Some women dont look at a guy’s hotness but cash/other motives instead. Women can be just as big of jerks as men. :)
Trust me on this lol. If a guy is hot and he is poor then she will leave him for an uglier guy with more money. I see it all of the time. Some people want that instant gratification in a mate without puting in work. This is why most marriages fail:) 50-65 percent fail

By the way I accidentally commented twice on your latest video because I did not think my 1st comment went through sorry.

There some truth about this I guess, but don’t you think that the women would be much happier if their boyfriends were rich and hot at the same time? :) That would be a great combination. It is such a cliche that rich guys are fat or ugly or both. One friend of mine told me once that he had to decide to be either hot or rich, because it is impossible to achieve both. So he decided to be rich. I thought it was strange.

Because people think that if you are rich you have no worries. Most rich guys put their worth on material things not all but a lot. Try this ask some of your female fans/friends/family if they could be with a hot poor guy or a ugly rich guy ask them which would they chose and why. The answer will shock you. and also ask young and older women the same question. I think the youth will go with hot but the old will go with rich.

It seem when a woman reaches to be 30 her priorities change and money become more of a factor over the looks but then once they get the guy who is rich, they end up never being attracted to him during the marriage or relationship.

btw your friend is is normal when he said rich. Everyone wants to be rich but all of us can not be. But look at Jack Lanne he is a fitness guru who is 94 but he looks 60 and he lived longer than most rich guys and he is still alive. Look him up if you never heard of him :)

really usefull information

good work

Beautifully written! Exactly what I believe about fitness. Being fit is an opportunity to be fully alive and fully participate in life! Be the best version of yourself for YOU and for the ones you love. I am still waiting to meet the right girl, but I not only want to be fit for me, for her, but also for my kids and grandkids. I am going to particapate fully in life until the moment I leave this earth.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman

I’m a personal trainer and all around fitness nut, and I couldn’t agree more. Last year while I was teaching Spinning I had one male member who was attending classes religously, twice a week. He was doing great, building up endurance and on his way to losing some belly fat and getting into shape. A few weeks into the program, he stopped coming. I e-mailed him, and he said his wife made him stop because she eventually wanted to work out but wasn’t ready to start, so she wanted him to quit so that he wouldn’t be in better shape than her! I felt sorry for him but also thought, buddy, you really should go see an orthopedic surgeon because you desperatley need a spine!

Im not married, still in school actually. I just need to say that lots of teenagers and kids are getting obese. And the kids and teens have no guides…. Every diet plan, vitiman, work out, or workout center is for adults only. People should start taking a stand and protect the people of our future. I am only Fourteen and follow these workouts because i can take on more advanced exercises for my age. But the small kids at ages anywhere from 10-16 are suffering they need help. My sister is 11 and about 5’1 and ways 162. thats a problem. she has no one to look up too. I am 5’6 and 120…. Still building muscule and losing weight(; Im just worried about the children. Someone should take a stand.

I LOVE YOUR WORKOUTS.
-EmilyHicks

Greetings,

I have had this point of view for quite a while, healthy living and fitness after all is a lifestyle, and is not something you use in order to impress other people. I think the fact that other people who get impressed by ones fitness, should just be considered as a plus and not as your real purpose in working out and being healthy.

Its quite hard to explain things to people without the natural ability to listen.Most people just love to talk. So I usually end up keeping things as simple as I can.As Frederick stated, I also use marriage as an example. For example,staying in good shape to be able to stay attractive for each other is one of the most common yet simple reasons I use. Being a mother or father should actually give you more of a reason to work out and stay healthy.In these times being fit and healthy also means less hospital bills or medication expenditures.

Some people say that life is short and that you may never know what will happen so we should enjoy it to the fullest. Being fit and healthy doesn’t mean your not enjoying life,we are after all enjoying it, but we are also being responsible about it at the same time.We cannot control everything that happens around us and that’s a fact. But those factors that we can control,we should,at the least learn how to.

Sometimes its not you that’s the problem but how others perceive progress in an individual. A lot of people have the tendency to drag people down so that you will be in the same level(mentally,physically or spiritually)as they are.There could be a lot of reasons behind this, but aside from this.I personally think we should not to stoop down or bend to their level for whatever reasons they have, but instead inspire and motivate people to start living a fun, healthy and complete life.

Just my point of view,
Phil

“I think we all have the responsibility to be the best version of ourselves that we can- no matter what!” Wow that really hit me, I am so motivated now! Those are stong words, I never looked at it that way. Here I am waiting my time looking, reading, in and out of workouts. I have let myself down bad. I am not married or in a relationship, it doesn’t bother me. What does is that I am not the best version of myself right now or even close. I have alot of work to do!

Hi Emily, you are obviously very smart girl and what you have written is very inspiring. I think that you are already setting a great example for your little sister and other teens and kids around you. Being and inspiration for others can help people in ways you can’t even imagine. You don’t have to shout, you can lead by example. Keep pushing to be the best version of you that you can.
Best,
Zuzana.

I can tell you that fitness can make or break a marriage, I let myself go and though my husband loves me he is not physically attracted to me the way he used to be when I cared for myself, this is entirely my fault I wouldn’t want to be with me either but being married puts extra pressure as wives compare amongst each other and man like to show you off to their friends, my husband and I do things but it changed everything.

Life is better lived when you have the energy to enjoy it. Whether you’re married, whether you have kids, are 12 or 60 years old, wherever you are, whatever you do, life is better lived when you have the energy to enjoy it, and being unhealthy doesn’t allow this.

I agree with Lorne J. I’m 40, but I consider myself in good shape. I’m no fitness competitor, but I still have great energy and health. For me and my wife, it’s about staying healthy more than being sexy. Sexy is just a wonderful byproduct of being healthy. My goal is to be in my 70′s and 80′s living large and enjoying life with my wife. And yes, we’ll be sexy too! :)

Wow this is so cool, however i am the opposite, i weighed over 350lbs that was my top weight i now am down to almost 200lbs, my husband met me when i weighed close to my heaviest weight, i think in some way he misses the fat me. Something has triggered in me that i can’t tand to have fat on me and i won’t stop till it is all gone, but again, i think he misses that fat me. I feel this way, no one (meaning my friends) have the same fitness goals or beliefs when it comes to eating and working out so i have done this on my own. I want to have muscles be built to be the best me that i can be so i can be a better mommy and wife. I feel like the true me is lying under this fat. My mom was heavy all of my life and i saw how people treated her and i swore i would never be heavy but i did and now i am sick of it and refuse to be this way any longer. My husband supports me, but i think that he does in some ways miss the fat me.

hello, everybody! really inspireing article! my point of vew is – often men would hold back their women in their exersising and diet goals, they are ether too busy or really don’t give a lot (*) – there is no support! how are you sopposed to cook healthy meals if he simply refuses eating anything other then junk food, pizas and stakes? how are you expected to workout if he wouldn’t let you go outside and jog, or walk the dog around your neighbouhood for more then 15 min in the eve? and then there is kids – you have to cook for them too! it’s nice to teach them healthy eating habbits but we all know – they hate healthy! so here you go – you are on your own ! you want a healthy lifestile but you get no support from your family! and then you see your children grow into some fat girls! – that’s the tendensy i see all around!
(i’m not depicting my life , i’m summorizing the common trends here…)

[...] Zuzana – BodyRock.Tv wrote an interesting post today onWhy <b>fitness</b> matters for a married guy | <b>Fitness</b> Advice, Workout <b>…</b>Here’s a quick excerpt [...]

Frederick and Zuzana,

I like your site very much, great workouts and info!

I really appreciate your point about energy, people who radiate positive energy are more attractive on multiple levels. Others can be inspired by such persons. I think that energy is also the most important aspect about the food we eat. How much energy does it possess and radiate?

I generally agree with all the points made in this peice, but there are exceptions to everything it seems. Some couples have formed their relationship based upon their shared condition such as both being overweight/out of shape and being usually unable to attract a more fit person. One partner getting into shape may be a very disturbing thing for the other partner in such a relationship. People who have been in this kind of shape for a long time may be depressed and resigned to living out their life this way. This kind of complicates the points of resposiblity in the relationship, doesn’t it?

Thanks for the great site, you have really helped me with adding a varity of exercises to my workout!

Hi Dannyboy,

Thanks for the positive feedback – we are glad you are enjoying the site :)

Best,
Frederick

WOW! I’ve gained 61 lbs in the 5 years I’ve been married (170 then 231 now). I have a 4 year old and 2.5 year old twins. My husband is, of course, tall and thin and he is all over me as if I were 125 and fit! I just don’t see how he is attracted to me??? THIS just blew me away “because staying attractive for your partner is a vital part of YOUR RESPONSIBILITY in making sure the relationship works OVER THE LONG HAUL” – THIS IS SO TRUE! Because I sit here and think and as mean as it sounds I don’t know if I’d be attracted to my husband if he had gained 61 lbs in 5 yrs. At some point he is just going to NOT be attracted to me and it’ll be all my fault for not being the best version of myself, for MYSELF and for my HUSBAND. (I did the 4 min x’s 5 cardio workout last night btw and boy did it KICK-MY-BUTT!) I sent an email to all my girlfriends with your link. I think you guys are amazing and appreciate you putting up this site! Wish me LUCK! =D (I’m mayte1121 on youtube btw think i sent you a friend request =D )

Hi Maria,
thank you for spreading the words about us and for sharing your personal story :)

I feel so much for you, after reading your story. But you know what? He will love you no matter what; but it doesn’t mean you have to hurt your health and be less fit because of it. He will be happier with you if you’re happier with yourself, so really, you have nothing to lose to get back into shape! I’m sure you’ll do great and I hope you share your progress in the coming months :) If anyone can get you motivated, its Zuzana. She’s really, really helped my state of mind. Thanks again Z, you’re really amazing.

I know exactly what you mean. I have three children, and no one can understand how I can be so fit. Just because I have a baby doesn’t mean I have to be fat. And I hear women say all the time when they’re pregnant how now they ‘have an excuse’ to eat more or those indulgent foods they crave without feeling guilty. WHAT?! I don’t understand that attitude. If anything, these are the times to be even more attentive to healthy habits.

Well put! This is part of my motivation for getting back in shape. My only problem is that my Husband doesn’t want to do the work! He tells me to go exercise but he won’t. How do I get him off the couch and eating healthier along with me? Thanks

Same for me… how do I get my girlfriend to start working out.
No she’s not fat, nor am I but I would just love to workout together and yes get a more beatiful, sexier body…

Guys and girls of course we all agree with Frederick. Why do you bother posting? We are all on a fitness website so we will obviously agree with Frederick…duh!

My new motto to my girlfriend is “I love you loads but I dont love loads of you”!!

chuckle munster

I love articles like this one, because they address my own problem perfectly.

My problem is that I am in very good shape, but my wife refuses to exercise.

I work out six days a week, compete in several triathlons every year, and I have a very fit body as a result. She sleeps 16 hours a day, doesn’t work, and loves to watch HGTV. Any mention of her exercising with me is met with derision and excuses. All I can do is watch her butt get bigger, and her energy level get lower. Even gardening or something like stripping wallpaper puts her in virtual traction for days, moaning about how sore she is. Understand, her doctor says there’s NOTHING wrong with her like fibromialgia or chronic fatigue syndrome or depression; her behavior is a choice she has made.

I have run out of ideas for convincing her that she would feel better and look better if she started a regular exercise routine consisting of solid cardio and resistance training. Every time I invite her to work out with me she comes up with another excuse, another put-off, and it’s killing me slowly.

I’m not a shallow guy for wanting my wife to be fit and healthy, maybe even have a libido again; living a healthy lifestyle is one of the best things one can do to strengthen any relationship, and the safety of others can often depend on your own fitness level. Yes, I want my wife to look hot, too, and I could give a rat about the stretch marks from the babies – those are battle scars, baby!

I don’t expect anybody to solve this for me, but I do know that other age-grouper athletes like myself suffer in the same way I do. Has anybody found a solution to this?

Hi Endorphin Junkie,

I can understand how frustrating this can be. I don’t think that it is easy to be in relationship with someone who doesn’t share your enthusiasm for fitness and healthy, active lifestyle. I wouldn’t give up on her tho. I believe that there must be a way how to get her moving and interested in life again. I don’t know anything about your relationship, but sometimes it helps to be more firm and pushy with people. Some people just really need a kick in the butt and you can’t be too soft with them. Other people don’t respond to pushing at all. So if you have tried just one of these approaches, then I would maybe suggest the other one. Does anyone else have any ideas or experience with this?

Hi EJ,

I have a different perspective on this – when Zuz and I first met I was in great shape and exercising regularly. Then over the course of the next year or so I fell out of shape and stopped working out etc. My butt was not glued to a couch, but I was hardly as active as I should have been. Falling out of shape can creep up on you – it’s not an over night transformation – but one day I realized that I had completely lost the level of fitness and attractiveness that I had just a short time before. Once you fall out of the habit and routine of working out and eating right it’s a slippery slope. Little compromises with eating add up – telling yourself you will start to workout tomorrow etc – pretty soon you are starting again from the bottom and looking at a long climb back up. I reached the point where I was so far gone that I needed a strong kick in the ass – and Zuz was there to give it to me. I wish I could say that it just took one – but in fact it took quite a few until I was starting back towards the fit / healthy path of living. I guess I came to understand how important this is to everything – every aspect of our relationship and our lives together. Taking care of yourself is taking care of the relationship – it’s not shallow or separate or somehow superficial – and I needed a firm (yet loving) kick to realize this. I hope this helps in some way.

Best,
Frederick

Thanks for the input.

I have been “lovingly kicking” for fourteen years now; kicking, begging, pleading, cajoling, offering bribes, lying, yelling. I even tried the “silent treatment,” and she just thought I had given up. I bought her a nice set of workout clothes from Nike (really nice stuff), no dice. I bought her some dumbbells and the book “Body for Life,” and it all left the house in a garage sale.

I think I will just spike her food with powerful stimulants, and report back on the results. I haven’t tried THAT yet.

I love your website and its workout routines – endless variety, and no reliance on complicated equipment. Anybody can do the exercises you show in your videos! The simple stuff works most effectively, as you guys demonstrate all the time…

I wish you all the best – enjoy what you have together, you’re probably luckier than you imagine.

KO

I completely agree. I have been married for almost 4 years with my husband and after having our first child together I decided that I wanted to focus on being healthy and having a better quality of life for not only myself, but my husband and my child. I didn’t want to end up one of those wives that “let themselves go”. I refuse. I am now smaller and healthier than I was BEFORE I started dating my husband. Plus my libido has sped up like crazy! Who doesn’t like that right? Anyways, I completely agree and whole heartedly feel that getting married shouldn’t be an excuse to stop caring about your health, fitness, or appearance. Although your spouse may love you through thick or thin, you should still want to put in the effort to show him/her that you care to still look good for them :)

Well Put!!!

I really needed a boost with my weightloss/fitness routine. I hit a plateau and I needed something and you guys are it! My husband and I have decided to get healthy together. We quit shopping at walmart and now we buy groceries from whole foods. We joined a gym together and we want to get healthy together! I want to look great for him! I want to be around for our future children and be able to run and play with them without getting so winded and then blame it on old age. You both have been such inspiration and i am so glad that you have this blog and your videos on youtube. Zuzana! I love your videos! They are very hard but so helpful!!! Thanks! Please keep this up!! It helps more than you know!

“You don’t have to shout, you can lead by example. Keep pushing to be the best version of you that you can.”

The trouble is that most people will only see the results, not the effort that went into producing those results. I even see it here: despite hours of fitness videos, there are comments here from people who think you (Zuzana) have that body through “genetics”.

Or they think Michael Jordan has some natural talent (whatever that means), despite his reputation for being the first one to practice and the last one to leave — and having been cut from his high school basketball team. (If this mythical “talent” still requires you to practice more than everybody else, then what good is it?)

There are people out there who see somebody doing great and it actually discourages them. They tell themselves (and you) that it’s “talent” or “genetics” or some other excuse.

I don’t have an answer for this, but I wish I did.

I have had a few years slipping with my fitness. I was still playing team sports all the time during these years, but not trying to get the level of fitness as I usually would. I am now 38 and with age, speed is lost, but I never thought I would be like this.

So this year I decided to take one of my dreams /goals and to run a full marathon…..which I did in New York 2 weeks ago.
My aunt, who lives in NYC, dared me to run sub3:20 and I did, coming in at 3:18.
This was fantastic for me.
I am now addicted again to being fit.

While slipping with my fitness I still ran a couple of half marathons (doing ok, but had aches & pains for a week afterwards) and some other 5k races too, but never really trained to get my full potential.
I would look at the race results (which always show age category and all of the time I would see men and women there in their 60′ and 70′s running faster than me. This is quite depressing really….but it pushes me to be better.
Along the way I came across some heroic people of older years still training….and so I mention a few names….
Fauja Singh (75+), completed Edinburgh Marathon 2009 and took up running after retirement.
Ed Whitlock 78 – 1st man over 70 to run a sub 3hr marathon. (2:54 at age 73)

And Finally….this really is inspiring!!!!!
Google “kozo haraguchi video by Tim”
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=852467
The man you see running in the video is 98 years old. He ran 22 seconds for 100m.

I am in awe, but it certainly makes motivation easier when I read of people like these.

And so I too have a girlfriend who makes every excuse in the book for not exercising.
She wants to be slim, but cant maintain a controlled diet and wont exercise.

10 years ago she was one of those beautiful fit dancers on the platforms in the discos.
She worked out at a gym twice every day when not dancing…..and then she stopped.
I work out 6 days….I run (which she doesnt see the point in doing). I run because I am bored where I live and there is nothing else, but I enjoy where the running is getting me.
It is a focus in my life (as well as the other things). My girlfriend isnt happy that i work out so much…..In fact she has told me on numerous occasions that I should put on a few pounds “because it is healthier” and also that she doesnt look so heavy beside me.
I’m 38,
5’11″ (1.81m) tall
77kg/170Lbs
of built like a soccer player and I would like to be 4-5kg lighter to make the running a little easier.

So I have suggested all this subtly to my girlfriend and she tells me that her low self-confidence is because of me.

Anyhow what I am saying is your comments above are true….I have tried many different approached, but it hasnt worked…..and nobody else seems to be able to answer the question on “how do you coax someone else to be fitter and healthier?”

I love your website Zuzanna. Tell Fredrick he is great too!!!!

D

I agree. Is there anything so insulting and selfish as to say, “okay you’re stuck with me now, so I’m going to stop trying to be attractive for you?”

It is considered selfish in our society to divorce a spouse because they’ve put on weight. But, on the other hand, isn’t it selfish to marry someone and then gain 100lbs because you eat crap and sit around watching tv all day? You must not carry about them, either

Well, reading what some of you folks have written here makes me feel a little better about having brought this situation up to my girlfriend. I’ve been a fitness/strength junkie since I was 13 or 14 (I’m 37 now). After so many years, it’s just a way of life for me, and at the risk of sounding conceited, I’ve always been in great shape. When I met my GF she was active in the gym and in good shape. Eventually she dropped everything and does nothing but sit on the couch and eat pizza. It’s no surprise that this sedentary lifestyle has not been good to her physique, and to be honest, I’m not attracted to fat/chubby women. I don’t apologize for that. Fitness is a huge part of my life, so if finding fat to be unattractive is shallow, so be it. Unfortunately, bringing this up (as delicately as possible) is never productive. Feelings get hurt and then she starts lashing out. What to do – what to do?

Hi John,

what works for me is to see other women in great shape. Next time you see some girl, model, actress in great shape, make a loud comment about it. She might be mad, but believe me that she will start thinking about it. If you show her that you find women who are taking care of their body attractive, she might actually start doing something for herself.

Hey Endorphin Junkie… Here’s a story: Two monkeys were the subject of an experiment. One monkey was taught to play a game. The other was not. The 2 monkeys were then pitted against each other to play the game. The winner was reward with a banana. The monkey that was trained won twice and he got two bananas. Then, het lost a game. Then he won two games. Then he lost a game… and so on. Why did he allow himself to lose? Because, the other monkey when he realized there was nothing in it for him (no banana), he lost interest, and did not want to play. So there was no winner, because there was no game on, so no one got a prize.
So the trained monkey ate humble pie, so he could get banana by the next game. Junkie Man, you are too ahead of your wife in this game, and she will feel hopeless. You need to stop thinking about yourself and think about your marriage, and your wife’s happiness. You are turning her into a walking health time bomb by your gross insensitivity. I know about that. I still make the mistake and do such after 25 years of marriage. The journey must be re-started! You need to show humility via weakness in order to give her the strength to find some much needed pride. The question is: are you strong enough to show weakness?

Ps Great Job Zuzana and Frederick. Junkie friend: your task is grand, for you need to work on your self, rather than just your body. As for me: I need to work on both!

i have been in this situation just a year ago. i met a great guy (who is in super great shape and even though i was overweight when we met thought i was beautiful and loved my personality and saw great potential in me)it did not work out romantically but he remains my best friend who taught me a very important lesson. you really do have to take care of yourself. guys (the fit ones or the athletic ones) are not shallow or jerks just because they don’t find a chubby girl attractive. what they really see is someone who is lazy and could care less about themselves. it is a reflection on who that person really is and obviously it does not match up with who they are. it is about walking parallel to each other and not perpendicular. :)

well now i love working out. i have lost nearly 40lbs and have really started to shape up my body. he is still by my side pushing me and reminding me that i have no excuse to not do it. and not only do i workout but he has also taught me that you have to really put your all into it. it is like that for everything in life, your amount of effort. sure i could remain unfit and unhealthy but i also lower my standards for the type of guy i hope to find. now of course i feel awesome, i have great energy and find i could attract a better caliber of guys.

Truth truth truth…

It’s a touchy subject for some people but these things NEEDS to be discussed.

Thanks a lot Freddy

too true!

Wow, you’re married to Zuzana?? You are one lucky SOB, haha. I don’t drink alcohol as it is, but if it might land me a Zuzana, I’m ordering my Perrier in bulk now :D

Great article and it speaks a lot of truth. I hate to say it but physical attraction is important and in my own relationship as well as what I see in others is, basicaly, people giving up on life just because they have these things. Look life is work and you work towards everything why would you give up on your life and your health. Great article Fred.

Really great article!!!! It is so true!! Many people just give up after marriage. It’s like if marriage is an end in itself. That’s why divorce rate skyrocket. Same goes for when you are a mother, you just give up because you have to take of the kids. People just put them in artificial box so that they can get away with it. Marriage is not easy, being a mother is not easy but it is not a reason to give up celebrating the most beautiful gift you can ever have: life. So work on preserving it in the best shape for yourself!

well said…

Thanks for the message! I needed to hear that. =)

Maria,… are you still working out?? I hope so. Keep at it!