A FEW WAYS TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT BEING ‘SKINNY’
People are always trying to get more skinny. It’s the main reason a lot of people start exercising — to lose weight, lose weight, and lose more weight. And no matter how much we lose, there’s always a little bit more to go. Especially for people relatively new to exercising, it’s extremely hard to reach a solid, happy level of satisfaction.
But should being skinny be the ultimate, actual goal of exercise, of any attempt to lose weight? Now, before we get into this question further, one thing we should say: there are people who are just naturally skinny. A lot of this depends on your body type and metabolism, which we’ve talked about elsewhere on the site.
But let’s go back to ‘getting skinny’ as a goal — although exercise will help you lose weight, there’s got to be a better direction than just ‘skinny’. There are a few reasons why we think the whole focus needs to shift, and they drive everything we put on the site. Let’s talk about them.
WHY THE FOCUS SHOULD CHANGE TO ‘GETTING FIT’
Becoming skinny isn’t very realistic over the long term. Besides the fact that the whole process of losing enough weight to actually become fashion-model skinny is really difficult, maintaining it — while still eating well and having enough energy to live your life — is extremely hard.
Getting fit, on the other hand, is far more measurable — you can track your progress, see specific, satisfying changes to your body, and not be holding yourself up to an unrealistic standard.
That’s actually the most important thing — psychologically, it’s far easier to work towards getting fit than getting skinny. One is a specific goal that’s sustainable, the other is a societal idea that changes with the times and is famously elusive.
If your goal is simply ‘to be a skinny person’, you’ll always find ways to not measure up, no matter how skinny you might get. Fundamentally, it’s just not realistic.
When you combine these two things — a realistic physical goal with something that’s actually easy to deal with, psychologically — you’ve got an unstoppable combination. As an overall direction, getting fit is infinitely preferable to getting skinny.
But besides that, there are tons of other benefits, too:
OTHER WAYS GETTING FIT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Your full-body health. Trying hard to get skinny can have terrible effects on your body, because you likely won’t eat enough, nor will you get a balanced amount of exercise. When you switch your goal to simply ‘getting fit’, it’s much easier to concentrate on making your entire body healthy, and you go from counting and denying calories to something much more healthful, well-rounded, and holistic in approach.
Your everyday strength. This one is great, just because it’s something you might not consider beforehand — but getting fit makes you way stronger (not super-muscular, just stronger!). Those little things you need to do around the house, or anything involving physical strength — they become a huge pleasure when you’re in shape (or even just getting in shape). You’ll seriously enjoy being able to actually feel your body, and feel each muscle as you use them.
Your physical confidence. Connected to that is just the sheer physical confidence that comes from being in shape. It makes you feel grounded, more present, and more at home in your own skin.
Psychological rewards. It’s not just about the attainable psychological rewards of being in shape, but other, more chemical ones, too — nearly nothing about the mad drive to ‘get skinny’ will give you the natural, amazing high that strong exercise will, and it’s proven that you’ll feel way better pursuing a plan that concentrates on fitness rather than one just concerned with dropping the pounds.
TELL US YOUR STORIES
If you’ve made the ‘switch’ from ‘getting skinny’ to ‘getting fit’, we want to hear about it: what pushed you to it? What keeps you there, psychologically? What do you use to avoid the constant ‘skinny’ push from popular culture, women’s magazines, or the fashion world? Tell us about it!
Best,
Frederick
my gole used to be skinny, there was a time when i had a BMI of 18. now my goal is to be fit, to have some muscle pr definition to show, ive already gained weight, i´m 19.5 in my BMI and i love it, i feel stronger, i feel.. just better, i´m happy, my body has more shape, and i´m still thin.
Zuzana, you saved me from anorexia.
i have come to realise the same thing. in the past my goal was to see dropping the number on a scale, which was driving me crazy, i was lacking energy due to not eating enough. Nowadays (and thanks to you Zuzana and Frederick) i took a more relaxed approach – now my goal is to be fit, no counting calories or measuing/weighing my food. Now it is more about listening to my own body, aiming to be fit, stronger. and on this journey i am discovering a lot about myself.
being fit is the fountain of youth! how many truly fit people look their age? but look at a skinny person. they do not usually age very well. their skin hangs and they do not radiate health. yes, it is very important to become fit and even more so to remain fit. this is a lifestyle for me. i will always be fit even when i am unable to do some of the things i do now. thanks guys for the thought provoking topic.
@michelle Regarding your statement: “being fit is the fountain of youth! how many truly fit people look their age? but look at a skinny person. they do not usually age very well.”
You’re absolutely right! I never thought about “getting fit” versus “getting skinny” from such a long-term perspective! Thank you! :-)
i love this subject on being skinny vs being fit, ive always been naturally skinny and when i started going to the gym, first thing ppl would say is why you going to the gym? your so skinny already! the reason why im going to build muscle and show some definition in my body and so far its been good! people now notice im not just skinny! im fit :)
i´d wish that tv and magazines promove be fit not skinny cause girls go for anorexia instead a nutritional plan and exercises.
Thanks Zuzana for create this space.
soooooo true..!
I’d just understood it when I became loving myself more. Getting skinny is a nice idea to everybody, but it doesn’t seem natural. I understood that you can say that the thing is good – when you feel good. some years ago it happened to be that i started to loose weit, and i liked it. it wasn’t actually anorecsia, i used some doping… offcorse i felt awful. I was happy with my 45..44…43 kilogramms (156 sm hight) but I became to feel really exhausted. I new nothing about my body or how to eat right, that it is nessesary to drink water every day. After that I understood that my goal was stupid, that you need the balance and it is the only thing that make you happy! ^))
hey guys.. my name is alexandra and im 16 years old..i recently found out about your website and im impressed! the workouts and all the topics are great!! i just read the specific topic and i remembered an “adventure” that happened to me last summer..first let me tell you that i always wanted to be like celebrities.. perfect faces, perfect bodies, perfect everything.. now moving on to the story.. two years ago i used to be really fat..but i started working out really hard and i lost 10 kg(from 57 to 47kg)..well last summer i became really skinny.. i am 1.60 and last june i was 42 kg!! but the worst part was that i thougt i was very fat and i was never satisfied with myself.. also my period stopped .. my mother was really worried.. she told me to gain some weight(to become at least 47 kg) to see if my period starts again… fortunately six months later i became 47kg and as my mom predicted my period started normally again.. but my problems dint really end there.. After i gained these kg i considered myself as plump..i was really depressed.. and thats when i started eating all the time.. as you can guess i put on weight.. and my mood changed too.. i wasnt getting out of the house(and i am guite a sociable person), i didnt wanna see or talk to anybody etc.. i was 57kg for once again..finally,after a very helpful conversation I had with a loyal friend i realized that you dont have to be skinny to be attractive.. you should just try to be fit ..because having more realistic goals will make your life a lot easier.. i am now 55 kg and i keep up the fight to reach 50kg and stop there..:) i hope i didnt tire you.
friendly,
alexandra :D
P.S.sorry about my bad english but im from greece
Suzana,
I love this site very inspirational.
I need some advice getting off a plateau. I run 30-35 miles do 3/1 hr cycle classes and 3/1hr weight lifting sessions a week. I keep a 1200 cal diet on most days except the weekends where the calories pile up> I am home with the family> Can two days of over eating really un do a week of hard work and spot on meals? please please any and all advice from anyone is appreciated. 6 months at this weight working my butt off is driving me insane.
Heather
Hi Heather
It might be a combination of everything you’re doing not just the two days of overeating. I know it sounds mad to even suggest it because we have all been conditioned over the years that running for miles on end is the best way to keep fit and lose weight but the most powerful way of losing it is diet and anaerobic exercise (just look at Zuzanna if you don’t believe me). The problem with endurance exercise (running for example) is that your body becomes more efficient i.e. it gets better at going for longer on less fuel this is due to the type of muscle tissue you use whilst performing endurance exercise. Its quite a complicated thing to explain but a book that helped me to understand was The New Rules of Lifting for Women by Lou Schuler.
You could probably replace the running with Zuzanna’s workouts five times per week along with eating smaller portions of ‘real’ food 5-6 times per day and I bet you’d see results within a few weeks (you’ll also have more time to spend with your family or doing something else you enjoy). I used to run 3-4 times per week and spend hours in the gym and my body always looked the same but I’ve ditched that and follow the routines on here plus lift weights 1-2 times per week and I’m so pleased with my results.
I hope this helps – have a look into the book as it goes in depth and explains things far better than I’d ever be able to. Good luck and let us know how you get on. You don’t need to be working out for this many hours per week honestly;)
My problem was that losing weight was (is) incredibly difficult even when I was backpacking all summer; when I spent a couple months in Tanzania, I hiked Mt. Meru with some friends, most of whom were (in my opinion) in better shape than me – certainly thinner. Out of all of them, I had the easiest time hiking even before the altitude started to kick in. It was a great feeling to see that the months of hiking in the northern Appalachians had actually paid off, even if they hadn’t made much of a dent in my gut.
I used to have a problem with anorexia on and off ever since childhood (age 7-22). I have always been skinny and to me it seemed that was all that was good about me so I desperatly tried to maintain it. It wasn’t until a guy I had a huge crush on kept forcing me to work out and eat properly that I started to see that I dont need to be unhealthy thin for people to like me. The greatest treat however, was that when I finally got into shape, I started to like and respekt myself and that was then I shanged my goal from being thin to being healthy.
I started working out to gain weight. I’ve always been really skinny, to the point that people assume I don’t eat or something, and it has always bothered me. Other than when I was pregnant, I’ve never been over 95lbs(I’m 5’3″). I also have some health issues, gluten intolerance and a thyroid problem. I hate hearing people say things like “I wish I was that skinny.” My response is always, ” No, you don’t.” It is incredibly hard for me to put on weight, but with allot of effort I’m starting to build up some muscle and I’m LOVING it!
People just don’t seem to realize that when you are really skinny, you get just as much crap from others as someone who is over weight. Instead, people mumbling things like “what she do, eat a cow?” you get “Do you ever eat?” or “you’re so skinny its gross.” All of which is incredibly rude! I’ve had people say things like that, or even just point out to me(like I dont know it) that Im skinny. Gee thanks, I never knew…
Being fit is waaaaaay better than being skinny, trust me.
P.S. Not all skinny girls are anorexic =)
I just had a conversation about being skinny yesterday. I will never be skinny and I am happy about that. I am a big guy.
I have dropped a lot of weight since I started training. And that is good. But I have put on a lot of muscle mass and that is more important. It helps me lose the fat I still have and feel like a super hero. :)
I did not believe eating 5 times a day or more would make a big difference as long as I watched caloric intake. But now that I do eat at least 5 times a day I see true difference. I also FEEL different and don’t focus on food.
Power couple indeed :)
they are dedicated to shaping lives, not just bodies. In such a hectic world it’s sometimes difficult to keep sight of what is really important and how to maintain a balance, but when I come to this site I feel like I have my own personal support system (not to mention watching Zuzana is so inspirational)
The benefits of being fit FAR outweigh (no pun intended) those of being skinny. Longer life, healthy functioning organs, better mood, more energy. I have started my journey slowly but will definitely dedicate more time to becoming fit again.
Just have to create a decent playlist of workouts to get me started….so many choices! :)
you guys are the best
Hello Zuzana! Thank you for being here for us, for great tips. I’m tall(190cm) and was very skinny all my life(60kg)But last few years I finally put on weight, now I’m (75-78kg) its was very difficult to put on weight(all my weight on belly). My arms and legs are still thin. Last summer I started to work out in gym, now I’m in shape, but I got these addiction to gym, to exercise. Now looking for new exercises for abs. I work out out every other day, but still can’t get rid of fat(if its fat ) under belly, I do exercise for lower abs, but still no effects. Please tell me what do to. Shall I do exercise everyday and have diet? in the same time I don’t want to lose weight. Please any advise, thank you.
Hello! I looove your workouts and this is my first comment on your website. Thank you for providing such great vids and tips! I’m about 5’1″/154cm and 99lbs/45kgs, and I workout everyday. I usually run 4 miles and/or workout targeted areas for at least 30 minutes a session. Because I am short and have a small frame, I’m constantly being told that I am too skinny… (I’m Japanese, and I think we tend to be on the smaller side as well.) I may look it but I define myself being more fit than skinny. To be honest, I hate it when friends always try to stuff my face with food or tell me that I’m not eating enough because they think I am too skinny… Or they don’t believe me when I say that I’m working out. I used to take it extremely personally but I’ve realized that there is nothing wrong with the way I am… As long as I KNOW that I am maintaining my fitness level and I’m healthy, I have no issues with my body. Actually, I love my body! I’m working out and staying fit for myself really, not for others to judge… Being fit is awesome, you actually look WAY better in your clothes than just being ‘skinny’. Toned arms, abs and booty is definitely key to looking sexy. I’m currently focusing on my arms and butt… But I’ve realized that the hardest part of becoming fit is losing the last bit of fat. Anyway, you’ve inspired me so much! Thanks xxx
Although being “skinny” used to be appealing, I have grown to realize I do not have a “skinny” type body. I am petite and very athletic, but not tall and thin. Thus, having realized I will never be like a runway model, I have embraced my athletic build and have run with it. I have never been in more shape in my life since this mindset change. Instead of buying gossip magazines if you will, i buy Oxygen, where woman have my body type and embrace their curves and muscles. I’ve also come to realize, men (my husband) like a woman who looks like she can hang with the guys, but still be feminine…not a woman who looks like she would break if she wrestled with one of the guys. Thank you all for boycotting this idea of “being anorexic sexy”, and embracing the strong, healthy, fit body. Love you all!
May I get some muscles from house keeping. I’m cleaning floors and carpet, arranging relationships between my cat and dog.
Will balancing on a skateboard enlarge my muscles? I am not skinny, but I rather have some stamina instead of the ‘volume’.
I appreciate your post. It’s really brutal and sad how so many want to be skinny and are struggling with eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia. I actually was anorexic for six years and I almost died because of it. People with eaiting disorders usually want to diet away some feelings or then they have experienced some trauma in the past and they just can’t like themselves.
I don’t know. Well…I started to exercise more after reading health tips and BodyRock. I noticed that if I got anorexic thought or I was just madly pissed off exercising helped.
And I didn’t mind getting muscles. I’m much more stronger now. Not happy because I still have to face my traumas but healty like everyone should get to be.
And somehow, step by step reading BodyRock and appreciating more my body have really starting to help me LIVE MY LIFE.
I’d wish others could fight themselves free from worrying about their body so much in such sick way.
Thank you for your videos and blog!
I wish you all have a good day.
Hi Zuzana, I’m a 17 year old skinny guy who desperately wants to ask you, how to gain big muscles? I eat a lot and I have marked muscles, but I have skinny marked muscles (specialy my legs) I wanna have big muscles!!! What do I need to do to make my muscles grow?
I’ll do whatever you say :)
By the way, you are awsome!!! I love your videos
Greetings Take Care
Hi. I’m new here and I love how in shape and toned u are….i was wondering wat kind of excersise moves i should do to get well defined curves…cuz i am as straight as a ruler… thank you! ;)
Hi. I used to be a ballet, tap, jazz, bellydance and spanish dancer, (yes, I was dancing a lot), now I’m a ballet, tap, and jazz teacher. I’m 29 yrs. old and my body isn’t as fit as it was. One year and a month ago I started eating clean small portions, drinking a looooot of water and visit the gym everyday(weight training,steps aerobics, Zumba, kickboxing and regular cardio).
In one month I drop 10 lb. I was 120 lb. and I’m a 5’2 (height) girl. Since that day I’ve been training everyday and now training it’s part of my life. I loooove it!!!
I’m getting married on June 19, 2010 and 2 months ago I took a look at me and I thought “I think I’m ok but, I want to be great for the wedding”. At that time I realize that I was going to need a little help from a professional and then I decided to hire a personal trainer. I’ve been training with her these two months and it’s great, I’ve been seen a lot of changes in my body and in my fat %. The workout she’s giving me its very similar to yours. I love it!!!
She told me: “bring me a photo of your goal and we both are going to sign it… and let’s see what’s going to happen”. I gave her a photo of you. I know, I know, It’s a very high goal, but I think I can do it. I have a lot of discipline and will.
Anyways, thanks a lot for being such and inspiration, and not just an inspiration, thanks for being a healthy inspiration…
Greetings from the enchanted island, Puerto Rico…
Blessings,
Tania
P.D Sorry for my bad english, our first language is spanish… :)
hello Zuzana, Frederick, and everyone that is tune in.
i’m 25 years old, i lived in Denver, COLORADO. i have to said this has always been my goal(being skinny)for over 5 years and i still look the same. Going to the gym, counting calories and even stop eating carbs at one point. After all of that dieting, the weight comes back. For the last few days i have been tune in with you and decided to start working out with you. i hope to continue this great adventure of health.
To Zuzana, you make it look so easy, but 2 minute with you and i’m already sweating away.
Lucy
please any tips and advice for me will be great.
I have spent any years tryin 2b “skinny” not to eat many things, and being very unhappy!
Since i have found this website ive been sooo happy, i look forward to gettin up every day and doin my exercises!
Im very new to this website so i have to wait a while to see da results with my body, but i feel soooo much better already within myself.
It has made a huge differences in my life, and i would like to say this website is a wonderful idea, as i have always wanted in2 in shape but never knew how to do it.
And now i do thank you very much x
well, for all the girls trying to be “skinny”, here is one guy’s point of view. I actually think skinny girls are not all that. I asked some guys about it and we all agree on one thing, …. girls with more on their body is more attractive. And by that sense, I mean girls worry too much about their thighs being to fat, when that is how guys like them :DDD
Also i have this friend thats really pretty, but i don’t make any moves because she is in fact too skinny, bare-bone and stuff. (she’s one of those people that cannot gain weight and look like they are made with toothpicks) This is actually unattractive for many men.
So ladies, don’t lose so much, because guys actually like their girls thick in some parts of their body lol. And a girl doesn’t exactly have to look like Barbie-doll skinny to be noticed ;D
my goal is to be skinny. but it just doesnt work like that! oh… im training every day for about an 1h for 3 month now. my abbs are like a stone! but i cant see them becouse i have soft belly… after i read thease facts… i give up… for idea to be skinny, f*ck it! :D im going to do more hole body trainig and i will be fit :D in your face fat!
i have sort of the opposite problem. I am very very thin (about 90 pounds), and for some reason it is very difficult for me to gain weight or to gain muscle. I really want to gain more muscle. Should I eat a certain thing after my workouts? I eat really healthy, but i eat normal portions, its just because I’m a ballet dancer that i am naturally so thin I think. so what do i need to do to build up my muscle (eating-wise) ???
I used to be very thin from natures side, but always wanting to be thinner, and thought that the more thin, the more attractive. But even more, I thought I’d be HAPPY if I was thinner.
That was my mindset for years, especially when I gained about 20 kg, in under 6 months. I’m 168cm, and I weighed 80kg. That’s when my eating habits got even more out of touch with reality, I ate super little, and skipped meals like crazy.
Then I started to move more, and eat normally, less sugar (which I ate a lot of when I did eat), and processed fats.
I dropped 15kg, but was still unhappy.
Then in February, I started to work out at home. I used videos, and I tried to change my “diet”, cutting refined carbs and eating more fruits, grains and vegetables.
Now, I see muscle definition, I’m shedding bodyfat, and my eating is finally improving without feeling like a strain.
Now, I don’t crave sweets like I did, and the foods that I want to eat are the healthy “real” foods.
I love how my body and mind are changing, after I started thinking about getting fit and sexy, not skinny and frail.
I see that I will finally have the body I’ve wanted this summer, even though it’s a slow process.
Conclusion: the way we think about what our goals are, is extremely important.
Love this site, how real and inspiring it is!
Your incredible determination inspires me every day to challenge myself more and more!
Hi Zuzana,
I just recently discovered your site, and I find it an amazing place to find new routines and tips on how to get in better shape. But I do have a question, and I hope you will find a minute to answer it. I am 17 years old, and I am pretty active: I work out 4 to 6 times a week, and I am a vegetarian. I am 170 cm tall and my weight is king of jumpy 52-55kg, depends on the day:) Could you tell me if I should loose weight? Because I think I should, I mean I am not fat but just all my friends are talking about being skinny and at the beach I feel like a weirdo, cause I am the only one who actually has muscle, and gets criticized for that.And I always thought it is good to have defined abs… What piece of advice would you give me? Thank you in advance.
p.s. You are awesome,and I love the fact that fitness for you is life style, not just a torture:D