I’ve heard people lament the end of “gathering around the table for dinner” for many years now. You probably have too. Unfortunately, all the positive sides to eating in a traditional way never really seem to get talked about — the example is usually used to score political points on cable news, with one person yelling about the “dumbing down” of America’s kids, and another pointing to “eating alone” as the ultimate sign that family values have disappeared forever.
But I don’t want to get into that — it’s a whole other debate, and frankly, it’s not that much fun, and better left to a site about politics. What is interesting, though, as Zuzana and I keep reading about ‘Real Food’, are the food fundamentals of eating together, at a table, with stuff prepared in-house.
Why Make A Big Deal About Eating?
Put the cultural side of it on hold for a second — let’s look at it this way, instead: what will investing more time into eating do for our health? Our lives in general? Why bother spending time cooking, sitting down, setting the table, turning off the TV or putting the laptop to sleep for a bit?
We started talking about this, coincidentally, while having a wonderful dinner the other night, and the next day we wrote down a few of the things that struck us the most.
Ceremony is Important, or Why Kids Hate Brussels Sprouts.
When you sit down to eat at the table, you’re automatically giving priority to the food itself. Ideally, this would translate into you thinking a little more about it before eating. And in a weird way, this was confirmed when we started thinking of foods we hated when we were younger.
See, this is the thing — I don’t think brussels sprouts would loom so large in the childhood memories of so many people if they weren’t served to us with such ceremony.
Some of us sat there, our parents watching all the while, as we struggled to eat just one of those bitter mini-cabbages (those of you with parents who used salt, olive oil, or butter were the lucky ones), those little green monsters sitting out on the plate, almost a kind of initiation rite.
And partially because of that little ‘ceremony’, they left such an impression, albeit a negative one. So that got us thinking…
Does All This ‘Ceremony’ Stuff Still Matter Today?
If being forced to sit at the table and suffer through a plate of broccoli (or whatever childhood vegetable you hated) left such a mark, does the same go for good food, too? Can these kinds of ‘ceremonies’ still affect us, as adults?
Well, think of it this way — what about when there’s a big gap between what you’re eating and the work you’re putting into serving it? If we microwave a quick TV dinner, but then set it out on a plate, with a proper placemat, and all the ceremony of a full meal, what does that do? Does it trivialize what we’re eating? Elevate it?
To be perfectly honest, we’re not always sure — we haven’t actually tried buying a Big Mac and treating it like a healthful, well-prepared meal that deserves to be savored, because it does seem a little absurd.
But that’s not really the important part. What’s crucial is the other side of the coin — that a good meal we’ve made becomes all the more special when our ‘ceremonial’ efforts match our culinary ones.
The Experience Complements The Food.
We’ve also noticed that if you make something really great, but then eat it in front of the computer, or the TV, or at your desk, without ever clearing a ‘mental space’ to enjoy that food, even the best-prepared, most delicious thing in the world can completely pass you by — the experience complements the food, and vice-versa. A good experience, at a table, prepared in a way that makes you happy, can actually make your food taste better.
We’re going to do a second part to this article with some more of our thoughts, but before this one gets too long, we want to hear more of your comments on this. The last few Real Food articles have received an absolutely fantastic response in the comments — we couldn’t be happier.
What We Want to Hear From You, This Time.
So what we want to know is this — did you used to eat all together, and have you stopped doing it now? It happens, often without even knowing. And there’s no need to romanticize it — plenty of homes in France and Italy and Spain, countries that often get mentioned as “old-world” examples, have the TV on during dinner and distracted people ignoring old traditions. So don’t feel like you aren’t measuring up — we want a dialogue from all corners.
Plus, people stop eating together for different reasons, including, obviously, very practical family ones, but we want you to think back — if most of the times that you gather to eat these days are just for the holidays, or very occasionally, when, and why, did that change? Or do you still make it a point to eat with other people, to spend and invest actual time on that very simple act of eating? Either way — tell us your stories!
I’ve been raised in a family of dinner-in-front-of-TV-eaters. Just because of how busy everyone is, it’s not likely that we’d all be home to eat dinner at the same time. Whoever gets home first makes dinner–albeit a well-balanced dinner–and leaves it out for the next person. In this situation, it just gets lonely eating at the table with no one else. The noise of the TV, the buzz of the radio, the productiveness of the computer–all this amounts to improving the mental experience.
That being said, in middle and high school I developed a bad habit of ALWAYS eating in front of the TV. We could watch a 2-hour movie and I’d need to be munching on something the entire time. This bad habit progressed to disordered eating on my part.
So, there’s a yin and yang to it. I would say that it’s good to get some sort of mental stimulation while still eating at the table so you know that when dinner’s done, it’s DONE.
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Our family used to eat together every night at the table with the TV off because it was family time. Now that I live with just myself and my brother we haven’t used our kitchen table once. Mostly because we both work full time but with rotating hours we rarely get to eat together. I wonder if I lived by myself would I actually cook and I think that I would. I guess it’s weird.
I used to think that sitting down as a family for dinner was an “old-fashioned” tradition that served no real purpose in today’s world.
But, in the last 6 months, we have made an effort to sit down as a family and the payoff has been huge. We get along better as a family, my stress levels are lower and I find that I am eating less at dinner
I think eating experience is the most important thing on earth.
I love eating sooooooooooooo much ^^
I often eat together with my family at home. (I hv no point to go against by now)
More to the point, I dont join any family gathering with relatives. It was started since I could stand still to say no to my parents after so many fights :(
I hated the way they force me n the “dead air” between me n those “caring” relatives. It weired n suck that those relatives “acted” as close friends when we ate together only twice a year!
However, eating wz fds who enjoy eating would increse the joy of the food and everything!
So, I think eating partner is also a matter besides food. Nice food tasted bad when eating wz suck ppl.
Hello, Zuzana and Frederick!
I am Maggie from Bulgaria. I still live with my parents and the only time we are together is the evening. We eat together at dinner. We never share meals through the day. With two exceptions. One is Easter breakfast – it is the only breakfast we share throughout the year. And weekends Mom is not working (when we are all at home). I think we eat together when Dad is home. I don’t know if this is about values and traditions, maybe. Mom just thinks it is sort of her job to invite the family to lunch. I like it when we are together, because we talk and share the experience of the day. I used to eat lunch with my sister. We are twins and we went to the same school, and we were constantly together. This is different now. It first changed when I got sick. I refused to eat and ate ridiculously small amounts of food only at dinner (1/2 handful of green beans only. I was obviously sick with anorexia. I guess you know what it means and what the attitude towards food is). Now me and my sister study at different universities and are not together so often, so we sort of run into each other in the kitchen. The TV used to be on when we sat at the table, now since we moved to a new apartment, the TV is in the other part of the room and we can’t see it from the table. It serves as a radio, I guess :) and often is off when we eat (besides nobody has time to watch it)
I was thinking about the part of your article where you discuss children hating brussels sprouts (or other food). I think it has something to do with the parents Forcing the children to eat something they hate. Thus children become fastidious about the food (or all kinds of food). My parents never made me eat after I have said I was finished. Not even for a little piece of beans. I guess I am lucky.
To be honest, I don’t feel like I waste time preparing food. It is not a burden for me. I set the table because I don’t trust that everybody will eat substantially. I guess I do for my own sake. Because if I don’t, they will just pick a piece of bread and have a burger or a sandwich (I think it is not a good idea for everyday meal)
Hello :) I have one defining eating at the table memory, my Aunt asked me if I wanted Apple Strudel when I was staying with her , I was 10 I think, I took one mouthful and it wasn’t my cuppa Tea at all… she made me sit there for 2 hours :( until I ate it… I cried the whole time… Also my mum made me eat soggy veg… yuk… really not nice memories of eating meals when I was young. I can’t make myself eat anything ever now… If I don’t like it.. I instantly feel nauseas :( So I’ll just not eat it now. Growing up we ate in front of the Tv, I enjoy that though, these days we are so busy but when its dinner time me and my girl settle down for an hour and relax together and eat our meal, It’s nice and light hearted :) We are eating fully home made raw Organic food so lots of prep goes in plus love and care :) we say a blessing before we eat so there is definitely appreciation there :) Food is very important, and I love to eat nice food so its important to me that I teach my little girl to appreciate good quality food and help her to learn to prepare healthy meals too :) Yesterday she made raw Apple & nut cookies and we have some raw chocolate ice cream for today :)
I’m from Peru and as I will very soon be visiting my family over there this post has reminded me that I will enjoy eating home made meals with them at a big round table again. Lunch time over there is a party!
I think food and the way we eating food effect our mind and our soul. I think there is a lot about the energy the food have. It is important that this energy is not lost somewhere between preparing and serving the food. If we make food with love and serve and eat it that way, with beloved person, it is all good. We feel so good and complete. In my country we have a proverb which goes like this: “love goes through the stomach” — I would translate that proverb something like that :D – it is a literally translation…
IT IS SOOO TRUE.
That was a little thought from me,
best wishes,
Tina
Hi Zuzana and Frederick,
i’m from a french familly and since i was a baby, every evenings, i eat at the table with my parents and the dog. everybody gets served at the same time.
it not like “family time” it just “dinner time”.
usually my dad is cooking for everyone in the house, then the first one coming back from work sets the table and we all wait for the rest of the family. then the other 2 tidy up afterwards.
Now, i have to eat on my own every mornings for breakfast, and then for lunch. because i’m only working 3 weeks a months, for a week i eat alone.
well, all this to say that when i eat alone, i don’t always wanna prepare something for myself. i’m more the kind of person going to the fridge and just getting something ready to eat out of it.
in a month, i’ll be in South Africa and i’ll leave with my fiance so i think it’s gonna be easier for me to tell myself that i have to eat properly. he is working out everyday and he wants to try the clean eating. hopefully it’s gonna be easier for me to stay disciplined.
thanks for that article.
your site is perfect guys.
with all my love, LisaG
Thank you Frederick and Zuzana for this stimulating post, it got me thinking about our habits, which is perhaps one of the best way of thinking at all.
When I am home with my family (I’m from Italy) my father still formally insists on this habit of gathering together around a table, but with tv on, so that if we happen to speak with each other, it always has to do with what it’s going on tv. That is not so bad in itself, you don’t need to speak about yourself to be yourself, but being given the rhythm of speaking by the pauses on tv is absurd…So he sticks to tradition with one hand and he stifles it with the other…
Eating together, in the very sense of ‘together’, is part of the pleasure you get from food, it’s really a kind of ‘communion’. I don’t know if that is a common experience but it has always been very very hard to me to sit down around a table and eat ‘together’ with people I for some reasons can’t get so close to… it happens of course now and then, most of all at work, but it always leaves me a weird feeling: I hardly enjoy what I am eating, even though that happens to be very tasteful and well cooked, while eating becomes oft a sort of alibi in such situations, or a rescue-topic for a forced conversation of course, he he.
Otherwise eating together can really be a way of getting closer to each other, to pass the threshold where you start feeling really at ease with someone. “You can’t really know someone until you have eaten with him half a kilo of salt”, goes an old saw here in Italy; you see, half a kilo of salt is pretty much, most of all if you try to eat clean ;-)
Okay. Mine will be an essay today because I am an American and we just got finished with Thanksgiving last night.
Every year, in America, on the third Thursday of November, we celebrate Thanksgiving. All histories of Thanksgiving aside (there are rough feelings about the holiday among some groups), it is a day of feasting. That is pretty much what you do all day– eat.
First, some families start out with Thanksgiving breakfast. Everyone comes together to eat a really, really large breakfast meal. It is definitely a social activity and it gives the immediate family a chance to bond before the main dinner event. You can’t really overdo it at breakfast, in my opinion, but I have never been one to stuff myself so early in the morning.
Lunch is really a hit or miss. For those who stuffed themselves at breakfast, they will completely skip the meal. For those who did not, they will probably eat a very light lunch or skip anyway because they feel that they are leaving their stomachs clear for dinner. I never skip because I know the dangers of doing that. I try to make sure my meal is as healthy as possible (yesterday was water and half a sandwich, as I was banned from the kitchen unless I was cooking.)
Then comes dinner, the main event. You wouldn’t believe the amount of food available: squash, yams, mashed potatoes, gravy, greens, egg salad, potato salad, ham, turkey, pork roast, lamb, cranberry sauce, baked macaroni and cheese, apple pie, cake, pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie, and anything else that particular family might enjoy. It’s a buffet. A HUGE buffet where everyone expects you to try their famous recipe for this or that and they demand that you eat loads of it! This aunt or that aunt might try to force you to eat large slices of their pies, large servings of their sugary punches, and if you don’t eat mac and cheese you’re being surly and anti-social.
But as Bethanny Frankel’s rule #3 states, I tasted everything and ate nothing. This gets me through a large breakfast, and two or three dinners. To make sure I don’t eat too much, I look around the table, see what I really want to eat and only get a very, very small portion of that especially since I have to go to two family dinners.
Thanksgiving is really a holiday about eating. Yes, it’s about being with family, too, but that is really just a side bonus, I feel. Yesterday, people were talking, somewhat, but some eyes were glued to the football game, and others were so intent on their food, they weren’t even talking. People go to these dinners to do one thing: eat.
I think for the way one half of my family cooks their food (drowned in salt and butter) I did fairly well, yesterday. I tried my best to make it through the night, and I think I came out pretty well.
But the only problem about that it LEFTOVERS.
Well, I told you it was an essay. I only mentioned it because it happened yesterday.
Oh, yes. And sitting down to eat is the best. I love spending time with my family and my little siblings like it, too. They get mad at me if I don’t sit with them to eat if I’m doing work. If I do get to sit down and eat, the TV is off. They don’t like that, but they don’t complain, either :)
Sincerely,
American Girl
Hi American Girl – it’s been years since I’ve had mac and cheese – I kinda forgot it existed!
Hi Zuzana and Frederick,
I always think about the tradition of eating and how much it has changed latelly and obviously for worse. It all started with the day women decided to take up careers hence taking away from time spent at home preparing meals for family. (Yes I know I am being very sexist here, but lets face it in general it is the case and anyways its not the point Im trying to make). This dractical rastical lifestyle change when both family carers are working full time – how on earth it is possible to come home and stand at the oven for at least an hour to prepaer the meal for family the get everybody sit down and have dinner, clean up after. I know it can be done, but I for sure could not do it every day. I know team work would help here, but again it rarely happens. Not even speaking about the cost of healthy eating. I used to have dinners with family and was not allowed to go and watch tc with plate in the lap. Annoyong part was that I didn’t enjoy sitting at tabe with everyone then – because food was just food and nothing else and spending time with family? – well there were always better things to do. But now things have changed – I am from Latvia, but I live in Ireland hence I would force everyone to have dinner together at the table in those rare times when Im home and make the effor to cook meal that consists of ingreadients that I am aware of (this partially because Im studying Sports Nutrition & fitness traning currently). In my every day life it is harder to practise but I would try to make and effort as often as time allows me as with full time work, studying, training the cooking and quality dinner time has been cut to minimum. But with discovery of your exercise routines I hope to cut down on exercise and concentrate on qulaity& intensity rather than quantity and end up enjoying lovely dinner with my partner at the table most of the evenings. And I will have all those brussel sprouts! Love them, with butter or no butter!
Good luck and keep up the good work!
Elina
Nice article Freddy. I havn’t been to the site in a couple days and this was a nice treat.
I find that sitting down and eating a meal with family or friends always makes the food more enjoyable, much like yesterday for Thanksgiving. But sitting down and eating a meal is a double edged sword for me, because when I do I tend to eat more or till Im full. So, when I sit down to eat I have to really focus on small portions or Ill get caught feeling stuffed. When I’m eating alone or while watching tv I tend to not focus on the food, and Im more in a munching mode and not eating much at all. I think the problem with sitting down and eating with people is that most people are not portion size eaters so you get caught eating like they do. It is much easier to eat more then it is to eat alittle.
So, I dont not like to give the spotlight to the food. I eat only to provide nutrition. I have only been doing small portion sizes for maybe 6 months and have in no way mastered this. I was raised to eat 3 large meals a day with snacks and have been doing so all my life. Thank goodness my metabolism is really good! But even so, eating small portions gives me more energy through the day and I dont getting mid day sleepyness. So, until I master small portion sizes I like to eat bymyself to avoid other people’s bad habits rubbing off on me, it is so easy to let food get out of control. But that isn’t to say I dont enjoy the social interaction of eating.
The past month I have been cooking and preparing more of the food I eat and it is definitely more enjoyable to eat food you prepare. Considering I hardly ever cooked in the past, there is much more meaning in eating food you make yourself, especially when it is nutritous.
Hi Zuzana and Frederick
First of all i’d like to thank you both for such a wonderful site with great tips and excersises. I’ve just recently (a month a go or 2 = as long as i’ve been following your blog) started excersising regularly almost every day and i love it even though i for some reason used to hate it. Now i wouldn’t even want to have days off, but i try by doing just something light like taking a long walk with the dog those days.
And this is all because of your site. You are an inspiration and i think every single person in the world should do one of your workouts before they start their day (unless if they ofc have some kind of medical issue to prevent them from doing that).
I’ve also for a longer time tried to eat healthy and balanced, but i often stick to the old stuff i’ve been making all along so your recipes always give me something new to try. Keep it up, please!
Then to the actual question. I was raised in a family where we ate dinner together every night, me, my parents and my 2 siblings. And i really do remember some of those “i don’t want to eat cloudberry jam with the cabbage rolls” moments when i would sit in the table until the food was cold. And that did leave a mark on my eating habits for years, but now at 23 i’m overcoming those prejudices about food. I tasted the cabbage rolls a while back and i liked them. And i had to admit i thought they might go well with cloudberry jam.
Oh, and i loved brussels sprouts when i was a kid ;) Especially raw, i could eat like 20 of them at once.
Now i live alone and i sometimes eat at the table but sadly most often at the computer while chatting with some friends or doing something else. At one point i tried to start eating one meal at the table each day, but somehow i then left the habit.
It is no fun eating alone. It’s not the same as the family dinners as a child. We didn’t necessarily always have so much conversation in the table, but sometimes we did. It was about the company, the atmosphere and the fact that everything was nicely set in front of us (by ourselves sure, but still) instead of having to run back to the kitchen if you forgot the pepper or your fork.
I get visitors very rarely. I love cooking, but i don’t try as many new things as i would if there was someone else to taste it aswell. Also i often have to make bigger batches of food and then eat the leftovers for a day or two after. The microwaved food doesn’t feel as good as freshly cooked even if you’ve made it yourself. I would love if someone came for dinner once in a while and we could have a proper meal at the table with some conversation.
At christmas or some other special days we go and prepare a huge feast at my parents (the leftovers of which we consume for about a week). We all gather together just like old times and i like it. Obviously it’s christmas which makes it even more special in more ways, but that kind of a dinner or a smaller one even would be nice just now and then anyway. Would be nice to be able to dine with some company without needing some special reason for it. All my friends do if i ask them for dinner is look at me like i’m a crazy person, but i hope when growing older also that will change. I am still a student so i don’t have money to eat fancy very often, but even something simple freshly cooked can go a long way!
Greetings from Finland
I did sit and eat with my family growing up…always. It was an enjoyable time overall…we would listen to my dad’s funny work stories and we would contribute sometimes about a good day or bad day at school. We always thanked our mom for the meal and we would be excused together. I have two toddlers now and we all eat in shifts…I would like to start sitting down and having at least our dinner all together. My husband enjoys our together time very much and it feels more family-like. Good question you pose!
I grew up in a home when all meals were eaten at the table ( unless it was like a ocasional desert; ice cream). I remember all of the food that was eaten was presented on the table, whether it was salad and bread and a plate of chicken..it was in the middle of the table. There was never a tv on our kitchen was not in eyeshot of the t.v. I can tell looking back although family life was less then great this act was the ONE that the family felt united and definatly a unit. We always had to say a short prayer and I think this waiting time before picking up the fork had some effect and made you grateful. The eating of the food did not make us over eat I never had alot on my plate or remember us going for much more and for some reason it took to longer to eat, we were always always at the table at least 20 minutes. We also could not get up abuptly with out excusing ourselves or my mother would say ” what do you say “? ( my mother was older as they adopted me as an older coulple ). Later when we moved to a different state times were different and you could get the food off the counter and then sit at the table and for some reason this contributed to having seconds with the food not being on the table. Also I was being bought snacks, dorritos etc.. and eating on the couch so this was when I began to put some weight on a little. My family has passed away but I can tell that eating with other people is part of how it was meant to be. The stopping and thinking about the food and seeing the food and eating the food with others is all part of healthy eating and even mental wellness. Which way really would someone be more inclined to buy fast food? When its islolated. It just seems like it was part of the design. I really appreciate the part of your channel that includes recipes and diet as to me it helps with the excersize to do all of it as a lifesyle. You have really had a positive effect on my excersize as I mostly was just running but now I have been really appreciating the fitness and feeling stonger. All of the food made incites me to remember that eating is a science as is fitness..structured. I am also commenting with my full name Anonia as yesterday I was reading under diet and there was another Toni that mentioned herself and her daughter wanted to get fit for pole dancing. So as not to be confused with her I am a different Toni. Thank you for the wonderful things you do!
When my dh and I married in 2003 we always ate together at the dining table. Irregardless if it was something elaborate like mushroom stuffed porkchops with spinach mixed with hot rotel tomatoes sprinkled with parmesian cheese and potatoes au gratin,or just oven baked crinkle fries and beef burger for him and turkey burger for me. But,unfortunatey, due to his work schedule that changed in the second year we no longer do that. He sleeps days and leaves for work at 9:30pm and returns anywhere from 7:30- 9:00am;wakes me up and if he’s hungry I’ll make him scrambled eggs and diced potato tacos. (can use frozen fries,thawed in microwave and diced). Even on his days off we just sit in front of the tv,him on the sofa and me on the recliner. On “special” days like our anniversary and his and my birthdays we do sit down at the table. However, even though we sit separately, we still talk alot during our meals and while watching a movie. Eating any of the meals my husband makes is very enjoyable. Yes, he is the cook in our house and a very good one too. I don’t like smelling,nor touching the red meat he prefers so he eagerly accepted that before we married and he tells he really like cooking;because it’s relaxing for him. Am I lucky or what? When I was a child eating at the table was done mainly on Sundays and only “if” our Dad was off from work. So,those were rare indeed and I do have some memories of that. They were quiet meals considering the table was full with 6 of us kids. We were well behaved back then, unlike todays kids that seem not to have been given any guidance regarding social manners of any kind much less table manners. I was always the last kid to get to the food (I was extremely introverted and shy,even within the family circle)but,I felt lucky because I knew the left-over vegetables would be allll mine. I would fill my plate with them and never any meat,accept for the crunchy skin off the fried chicken they would have. It wasn’t a tradition to eat together on Sundays,it was the only time we’d get to be with Dad before he’d go to sleep and have to leave for work again. He had about 2- 3 jobs back then,depending on the season,just to make ends meet. I didn’t know this tell I was in my twenties when I asked him why was he gone so much. It made me cry when he told me how he’d go to one job and the next often sleeping in his truck at work. (he had very understanding bosses. Unlike today.) But,those few Sundays were special. Anyway, I’m rambling here, it’s unlikely me and my husband will ever have that kind of eating-at-the-table tradition. I picture us old and grey,him on his sofa and me on the recliner. LOL. It works for us.
I was at a thanksgiving party yesterday. A five year old girl looked at a yellow salad and said “it looks yucky.” Her mother responded “taste it, its really good.” If you don’t like it then just leave it.” Frederick’s comment about Brussels sprouts made me think about how food is considered valuable. The young mother was expressing a truly advanced attitude about food. It is not necessary to eat everything that is on your plate. It is more important to be mindful about how food makes you feel.
I read an article about an experiment where movie goers were giving free popcorn if they agreed to fill out a questionnaire. The popcorn was intentionally stale, a couple of days old. Everyone stated that the popcorn tasted awful yet everyone ate all the popcorn. Taste didn’t matter. If you are given food, then you must eat it! It is a sin to waste food!
Today’s world is facing an increasing obesity epidemic. Yet much of our social values about food reflexes an era when malnutrition and vitamin deficiency were the norm rather than the exception. Nutritious foods tastes good and adds to the enjoyment of life. Unfortunately far too many of us have been trained from youth to value food more than ourselves. We have been told to ignore our bodies.
Hopefully times and attitudes are changing. Your website is a sign of that change. I watched you and zuzana race to the top. I remember a couple of years ago climbing Camelback Mountain outside phoenix with my niece and her husband. It was a hard but enjoyable climb. That evening meal with my niece and her family was truly fantastic. My father told a story about fighting a forest fire in Idaho and how the meal he was fed afterwards with his fellow firefighters was the most delicious meal he had ever tasted. I believe that food should not be a task or something that needs doing but an enjoyable part of a rich life. You should feel your body and taste your food.
I wonder if this would be good with sweet potatoes?
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Hi there i was on the you tube and seen your vidio, I think you look great too, Anyways i have gotten so badly out of shap and over weight, I like could lose maybe 100 lbs, Were should i start, Like diet and start walking alot. I hate it and i just seem to eat and eat
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Great website guys! I really enjoy your knowledgeable and informative articles and videos.
One topic id like to get your thoughts on is the low-fat vs high fat food debate. For example: I find that eating 2 slices of my favourite cheese, jalapeno havarti, which is pretty high in fat, keeps me full much longer than let’s say, 2-4 slices of low-fat cheese. So even though my intake of calories and fat is greater with the havarti cheese, in the long run it pays off by keeping me full longer. What are your thoughts??
Keep making yourself proud,
Oren
Hi Suzana.
I personally think that this “ideal” of sitting down to a meal, or more every day, is outdated, in terms of the typical modern lifestyle, and, perhaps as important, undesirable with respect to what we know now in terms of nutrition.
This standard, I think, was set perhaps in 18th century colonial America – when there were large families, one person (usually the father) would go outside the home to work, and the family – kids included, would work at home, doing chores, inside and around the home, as well as preparing the food. What we don’t give credit to, was many of these household goods and services were traded, so there was a home-based economy run by the women, not defined by a monetary exchange, but by an exchange of goods and services. In any case, the lifestyle lent itself to family evening meals, and little time for snacking throughout the day. There was probably only time for 3 larger meals in the day given how hard everyone was working.
In our modern society, and with the health and nutrition information available to us, this is not only unrealistic, but we know that eating several smaller meals throughout the day is healthier than 3 large meals.
That said, I think it is nice to have *some* regularity to family-centered meals. We CAN raise our children to appreciate their meals on an individual basis, rather than training them to inhale everything. I think it’s actually healthier, physically, and mentally, to teach children how to take smaller, more frequent breaks throughout the day, and they can use their ’snack time’ to slow down and savor their food – even if they are snacking alone – as they will, and should, do as they grow older. Then, as we have moments, once or twice during the week, families can try to gather together – for a *smaller* meal – and conversation. But, to expect this kind of routine on a daily basis is now unrealistic, and with a large meal as dinner, also unhealthy physically.
As societies change, rituals change. Our family connections and moments when we slow down and gather together, may be different, or a little less frequent, but no less important. In any case, why do these moments have to revolve around food? Why can’t they revolve around physical fitness activities, as an example.
I personally don’t believe rituals should be adhered to as though they were cast in stone and not meant to evolve as we, as humans, evolve. I think we need to allow the traditions themselves to evolve as we grow and change.
Just my humble opinion. :)
Best,
Alysia, single parent, friend, self-employed music teacher and full-time college student who finds it impossible to sit down at a family gathering *every* day, and undesirable to have a large meal – ANY day… But who tries to make a point of finding 1 or 2 times/week with my son to stop & eat together and do nothing else. This is when we usually eat out (something small and healthy!).
Oren ~
IMO – it shouldn’t be about “feeling full.” In fact, we are not supposed to eat until we ‘feel full,’ anyway. We should eat only until we no longer feel hungry. Additionally, being healthy involved a better balance of the nutritional calories you intake. If much of those calories are fat, your body is not as well served as if the same number of calories were better distributed with other nutritional elements (such as protein and fiber and complex carbs). You could then consume more calories and be *healthier* than you would otherwise if a greater percentage of your diet is made up of fat. Rather than choosing a low-fat cheese, why not substitute some of that cheese with some fish, tofu, chicken, vegetables and whole grains? This is a smarter food choice than even choosing a low-fat cheese because your body will be healthier, and you’ll be able to consume *more* calories and maintain the same weight, grow more muscle, retain less fat, and feel satisfied longer, than if that same # of calories was all cheese. Just a thought. ~A. :)
It honestly depends on the family. My mum always made a big thing about us eating at the table and we’d do anything to scupper it so she’d always give up and we’d eat in front of the TV with it on our knees. (BTW It was always a home-cooked meal)
But that doesn’t mean that a family can’t talk and be together, laughing and joking about their day. A close family will do that anyway. It doesn’t matter where. We’ve always found it’s more likely to happen where we were comfortable, rather than in a cold kitchen on a hard, uncomfortable chair that’s digging into your back with people wolfing down food to get out of there.
Co-incidentally, parents actually force their kids to eat food? Still? I was never made to eat anything I didn’t like. I don’t make my son eat anything he doesn’t like either.
Oddly he loves both sprouts and broccoli.
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Hey Zuzana!
First, I just love everything you do and I never miss one of your workout! I have this question for you: If you eat 5 to 6 small meals a day every 3 hours and if you have to wait at least 3 hours after eating before working out, so when is the best time to workout? When are you working out? Some people told me that it`s good to workout in the morning before eating and then after, you get a nice protein breakfest… I try it, and no good for me… I have no energy. Sorry if I did mistakes, but I`m not use to right in English. I`m a french Canadian from Quebec, Montreal.
Judy
Hi Judy,
I usually have a very small breakfast, then I wait an hour and have my workout. After the workout, I have again something little to eat.
When I was growing up (in the southern U.S.) My family ate every meal together. All the food was put out on the table and we served our plates there. I can remember if one family member was late and missed dinner, at least two or all the family would sit down and read, talk, or have desert while that family member ate their dinner. My parents were very kind about not making us enjoy a meal alone. Honestly I cannot ever remember sitting in front of the t.v. eating anything except popcorn durring a special movie. If we were sick, my mother brought us a tray of food, and we had company while eating even in our bed. I am grateful for all the wonderful ways my mother shared food with me… I need to call her and tell her that.
The same went for breakfast, we had to be ready for “breakfast time” in the morning. If we had an early day and had to leave early my mother would make us eat something anyway. On weekends, we always ate three meals together, even if we were out and ate out for a meal together.
I still carried on the tradition of setting out the table for dinner when I was married, I would invite people for dinner often because he was deployed in Iraq a lot. Later, for a while, after my husband was gone, I lived with a lady who laid out all her finest dishes and foods for dinner. I learned living with her how much better food tastes with a fine setting and good friends. We had company for dinner every night, the more the better she would say. I really enjoyed my time living with her.
These days are so busy, I am in school full time and work 5 days a week. I have a little boy and we sometimes set the table, but more often than not, we make our plates and sit at the buffet on bar stools together instead. We don’t have a microwave, or really anything that makes quick meals. Maybe I figured since I spend time cooking I can save time by eating quickly. I still make it a point to have silverware, drinks, and eat together. If I have a snack we always eat it sitting down and not in front of the t.v.. We will eat popcorn on the couch if we are watching a movie. We don’t have t.v., like cable or anything and only watch movies maybe 2 times a month though.
I think you’ve just inspired me to remember my roots, and as I type I am making plans to pre-set my dinning room table and make the commitment to only eat at the table for dinner from now on. I want my son to have the same wonderful food experience I had growing up. I believe it does contribute to positive thoughts about food. Not one of myself or 3 sisters ever had issues with body image or an eating disorder, nor do any of us have weight issues… maybe there is someting to be said for that.
Great post, Thank You for everything and now inspiring me to be a better parent too :D
I LOVE BRUSSEL SPROUTS! Matter of fact, I just had 4 today from my Turkey Day leftovers! I think more people are afraid to eat them especially at functions due to the fact that a very negative production happens later after digestion ^o^ And to Zuzana, I must say, you are the worlds genius for coming up with the workouts that you do! I really enjoy all of them and have such a fun time outdoors exercising. I’m always incorporating your routines into mine, and they really make me challenge myself to even finish faster and harder. I’m a runner, but when I get into hard core training mode for my marathons, your workouts help me even more, and I’ve noticed that within the past year. So I’d say, thanks to you, i’ve shaved off well over 45min! Thanks again, and I thought I’d share that brussel sprout fact with you since we all need a laugh here and there, right?
I love to cook! and I’m self taught and everything I’ve tried I’ve been successful in some way. it’s like natural ability, but when I do cook I like to cook something amazing like eggplant parmigiano, or making my own bread. Unfortunately I only have maybe 3 days out of the week that I have time to do so, especially since me and my husband have opposite schedules. So 4/7 days a week I’m always on the go, usually I’ll prep meals ahead, like sandwhiches, or soup in a cup, but for snacks it’s so much easier to grab a banana or apple. while I prefer meals at home, with my on the go lifestyle it just isn’t something that I have time for. I always make sure there is only food I can make or that is healthy the down side is when I’m tired and really don’t want to cook, I strive to make sure not to then go get fast food, and since I’ve stopped eating junk food and pork I’ve noticed I’m more likely to get sick by eating those products.
i just wanted to say that i love what you’re doing. i want to ask you for a way to gain weight but in the same time eat healthy things and avoid fat. thank you i love your site i’m gonna try some workouts ^_^