BodyRock.TV

for this page in special, should have a bottom LOVED instead of like…
this is my major problem in HOLE life… 
I already lost even important opportunitties ins work because of this horriblem problem..
One of the worst times I canceled an important meeting because I was driving in a huge traffic and I started to FEEL that everyone in their cars was staring at me as is I was the worse person, the worse driver in the world… And it made me star to cry and I putted my face inside my coat and called my father to pic me… 
I will try to do this for sure, but it will be difficoult, even to read this made the tears flow… I´ll try.. thanks you always for the great tenderness you have to connect with thing we need to improve… you guys are always reading my mind…
Love you much! 

sorry for the mistakes in my english, I was into tears…

This post came at the exactly the right time. Just what the doctor ordered.

Thank you, Diana, Zuzana & Freddy.♥

beautiful.  

:]

Perfect!

I needed to hear this. Thank you Aunt Diana

Hi, which #post of Rock your life is this ? many thanks… BR Beth

http://www.bodyrock.tv/category/life-and-travel/rock-your-life/

If I was to answer the question “How attractive do you think you are?”, my answer would be: something between 0 and 2. (0=monster like, 10=greek goddess)
I just don’t feel pretty, at all. There are certain parts of my body I like, but the overall image is what I dislike. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to look just like a certain person as many women do, but I just want to look good with what nature gave me. I know I can look good, but right now I don’t.
On the other hand my self esteem regarding my intellectual abilities is different. I know I’m smart (of course not the smartest, and I still have to learn a lot, for the rest of my life :)) and I’m proud of my academic achievements. This huge gap between inner satisfaction but outside disappointment draws on my nerves every day.
Of course I’m not immune to others people opinions regarding my looks, but it’s mostly I who is critical about me. I’m a very asthetic person, always trying to achieve perfection in everything I do and my body is just not even near of being acceptable for me.
Working out almost every day  and changing my eating habits changed me a little bit. I do feel better, slightly visible results and overall happyness in finally doing something and gives me slowly more strenght to continue.
I just hope that one day I can look into the mirror and proudly say: “I’m no 10, but I’m a freaking sexy 8!”

This is perfect one for me. I have both low self esteem and bad body image, although I try and act like I dont. I know where it all stems from. I used to be considered by other people as very fit and pretty and unfortunately based how I felt about myself off of that. It defined me. I then got into a verbally and physically abusive relationship and 2 years later when I finally got out of it I was 75 pounds heavier than going into it and had lost who I was as a person. Although its been years and Im happily married and lost almost all the weight its still hard to come back from that and see yourself as you once did. I now need to re define who I am not based off what I used to think I was or what others told me I am but who I really am and wish to be. I need to somehow take back control of how I view myself.  Its a struggle to lose the person you thought you were and start over but to have a better life I need to. Low self esteem causes a lot of trouble in my life and I want to change that :)

This is just what i needed! I haven’t been able to workout for about just 4 days, but i feel bad about myself already. It sounds kind of stupid i guess, but i was happy and confident when i worked out. i hurt my knee and arm pretty badly so i have to rest them. I have always had low self esteem tho, but bodyrocking has been changing that and i think this will. thanks!

Thanks :) I found it !

About 6 months ago I was so unhappy with my appearance, that I took a razor and cut my  belly and hips. I tried to cut my fat off. My boyfriend was so unhappy with what I did. I was satisfied. I punished myself.  Scars are still visible. Few of them will be visible for the whole life. Nothing help, when you hate yourself!

There’s just so much pressure from outside and from ourselves to “fit the bill”. Honestly wherever we look we’re not slim enough, rich enough, happy enough, successful enough etc. That’s how capitalism sells products to us, by “promising” we’ll get one step closer to someone else’s ideal of “good”. The people who suffer the most are women, who on top of suffering all the pressures everyone else suffers, also have to be sex symbols ( along with mothers, career  women and socially “successful”).  I really wish we could all finally understand which horrible voices inside ourselves are ours and which come from some really distorted  ideas of perfection. Because really, what the heck makes any of us any less perfect than anyone else? I think finding self esteem and finding yourself are synonymous. When you figure out who you are ( and stop trying to prove stuff to people, including yourself) then you get comfortable in your own skin. At least self esteem started coming to me when I started letting go of the sick need to “be” something or someone and just started weeding through all the emotional crap and investing almost mechanically in the things that made sense to my heart. Mostly, having the balls to live the life I actually want to live and investing in loving relationships. Women have been dealt a very hard hand by modern society and low self esteem is almost an unavoidable side-effect.

Get help now!

I think you said it perfectly! This is how I feel and its a shame! We need to take back control of our self esteem and we will define what is our own ideal :)

Taryana, nice said:-) I trully believe that this is true what you´re talking about. I often feel that chasing some so-called ideals is just wrong. It would be nice if we were just happy in your own skin.

It’s funny how we deem our worth against our peers.  I truly believe this is a mechanism that we have created from birth to distinguish the me against the world.  We are a people who categorizes and sees differences and once we see it, we put it as either better or worse than what we have. School can be a harsh world of pointing fingers and calling out the differences.  It makes you aware of what you are and how you compare and it creates that doubt that fear that you are no longer invincible.  It grows with you and affects you.  I am a visible mixed ethnic female who did not fit in any particular ethnic or cultural group growing up in Toronto, people approach me and instead of asking “how are you?” they would ask “what are you?”  I didn’t think this had any negative effect until my mother-in-law declared I had a identity issue.  It has now hit me that I don’t look at myself in the mirror.  I do not know for sure if I can change this habit or weather it bothers me enough to make the effort. I like myself well enough and see the pain of those around me who worry too much about their appearance.  As for body, I think we can all dream of body parts that we could change but this too can take up too much of our day and ruin the smaller joys of what our body has to offer…”I’m not in pain today”  or “It feels good to just be working properly.”  We spend our good healthy days annoyed at what we have and then when it actually goes wrong we wonder why we didn’t appreciate it more.  I say we should just be happy with what we have because pretty soon it won’t be like that anymore….our knees, our joints, our bones and skin they are always getting worse not better aren’t they???  We can’t fight age or time so why waste it on trivial things like being ashamed. 

Low self-esteem and body image, hate and dissatisfaction come from feeling of not having controll over your life. If you want to be stable, firm, satisfied and positive, you need to have purpose in your life. When you don’t see challenges in life, when you do not want things anymore and you don’t recognise your needs, wantings and wishes, you are probably going to aim for satisfaction in wrong way – trying to please others to get their approval. That’s exactly what Diana said: ‘Healthy self-esteem does not rely on other people’s opinion of us.’ We strengthen our self-esteem by doing and accomplishing things ourselves. We need new experiences, new challenges, new convictions that we manage our lives ourselves. If we don’t possess feeling that we can handle ourselves and things, we are not able to be confindent and therefore not able to be satisfied. If we do not try new things, then we can’t know our strengths and weaknesses – we do not know ourselves. The outcome is hatred, low self-esteem etc. When we find purpose in what we do, who we are, how we think and what we want, then we are strong, firm and satisfied, knowing that we will allways be on our side.
Best to all! :)

Hi, Rebeca!
I see you strive for perfection – as many people do. I was perfectionist myself. I’m using past tense because I don’t see a point in trying to achieve something it wasn’t even my idea in the first place anymore. It was during time I didn’t know what I wanted to do in my life, I didn’t see purpose in leading my life. Why? Because I never HAD to wonder what I want or fight or try to achieve something. I had my mother as a machine that provides answers to everything, who has ideas for me to accomplish … I was living a life she was designing for me. Not in a forced way, but in a kind, carring, motherly way. Her values were mine, her way of looking at things, others and herself were mine … I did not exist – I lost my wishes, wantings, I didn’t recognise my needs anymore. I started following modern ideals (being thin, eating ‘healthy’, being vegetarian, ‘fit’ …) – all because I learned that other’s view, wants, wishes, ideas tec. were better and more important than mine. All this led to illness and emptyness. I never felt so exhausted and empty in my life. Then I moved to another city and started to live on my own. It was a struggle, finding my own way. In the end I can say that it takes bravery, courage, determination, discipline and kind ‘relationship’ with yourself to sense, recognise your TRUE wantings, needs and fulfill them. Then you start to appreciate yourself with every obstacle overcame, boundary broken and you begin to feel secure within yourself. This does not mean fitting in certain size of clothes or seeing abs or having cellulite-free skin. This means that you embrace yourself with everything you got, 5kilos more or less, because at this moment you are here, whole you, and, whether you like it or not, you live exactly like this. Everything’s here, just allow yourself to brake boundaries and learn on the way. Every step you consciously take is learning and more self-awareness you get, the more satisfied you can be.
Hope you can help yourself with some of the above.Best! :)

haven’t seen you in awhile :) missed you!!!

“I am completely happy with myself – body and soul. No little baby ever
says, “Oh, my hips are too big,” or “My nose is too long.” Babies know
how perfect they are, and once we were all like that. We accepted our
perfection as normal and natural. ” – Louise L. Hay

Marika, if that’s you on the picture you look incredibly beautiful. If you ever again have negative thoughts about yourself, please write to us here and we’ll try to give you as much support as we possibly can. In the meantime, please consider visiting a therapist to work on your problem – you don’t deserve to punish yourself, you’re better than that.

Marika, if that’s you on the picture you look incredibly beautiful. If you ever again have negative thoughts about yourself, please write to us here and we’ll try to give you as much support as we possibly can. In the meantime, please consider visiting a therapist to work on your problem – you don’t deserve to punish yourself, you’re better than that.

You can do this, Flavia!!

it is Ok to have tears, just know that you aren’t the only one that has tears for these reasons. It may take some of us more than 1 week to complete this assignment but it will be worth it.  I have always had problems with self esteem, it is holding me back from changing my diet so I can reach my goals.  It holds me back from being around my family, and other things in life as well…..we can do this together

Hi Stephi, there are worst things than never looking at your reflection. I met someone who was so …..I don’t know the correct word to use, I guess you could say she was “in -love with her reflection” she could not walk by a glass of any sort without checking herself out.  She could control it because she didn’t do it when we first met.  She thought she was so beautiful, she couldn’t have a conversation with anyone because the focus was always on her we are not friends but meeting her was interesting. 
I have problems with my reflection purely based on Brutus not telling me I was so skinny when I was in my twenties, then as I got older and stopped working out so much eating too late I got really fat I didn’t see it so after all these years of Brutus lying to me I can’t trust him to tell me the truth……trust yourself to be happy enjoy your friends if not make new ones

I’m really happy about these weekly self “help” sessions!! I’ve realized I’ve got baggage I didn’t know I had and now I can work through some of it!! thanks!

Hi Mystrina,
I’ve met some people like that too.  They must have gone through life being told they were beautiful and while that isn’t bad in any sense I wonder if they can see past their own nose.  I guess life passes you by regardless and I hope they will realize when age grows on them they are other forces that are just as interesting. 
I find mirrors somewhat obsessive.  You see what you want to see and avoid the things you don’t.  I can say I’m content with what I have, as a teenagers there was so much destructive thoughts to what I wanted to change and couldn’t, it a good thing that I don’t look at myself or I wouldn’t be able to show myself for fear of complete rejection.  I’ve come to terms with my body.  And now think of the motto, “You look great now because right now this is the best you can do and if it’s not that make it so.  There are no dress rehearsals so you’ve got give it your all.  Have no regrets or at least have as few regrets as you can handle.”

Hi! It would not be easier. You would find something else to be upset about. It’s the way of thinking. If you seek imperfection, you’ll find it, no matter how ‘perfect’ you may be. What is perfect? What does it mean? How do you define it? I figured out that for me it is empty. Perfection has nothing to hold onto. It does not serve any perticular purpose and it has no meaning. Do you find it meaningful?

I have to say that it wasn´t the first time… I did it many times. It comes always when something bad happens. Last time I did it – my boyfriend said to me, that if I do it one more time, he would break up with my and he would cut my two cats the same as I did it to myself. It works, but only because I´m afraid, that he would really hurt my cats and break up with me.  
My boyfriend always laughts, when I say that I´m fat, old and stupid. He can´t imagine that I really have these feelings, because he is self confident person. I think – men are more self confident in general. 

I worked with therapist on my self confidence few years ago (because this problem always ruins my relationships). But she wasn´t able to help me. So I went to psychiatrist and I took antidepressants for 2 years I think. I felt great, but I gained 20 pounds because of these pills. So I ended using it, but my extra pounds are still there and everything is worse than it was before. I´m 26 now and I stopped hoping that my life will be ever “normal”

I do have a problem. I visited this site few months ago, i lost almost 10 kg, all went well, i was full of optimism, energy.. and i dont know where and when it happend, but its gone.. i gained 13kg back.. i started avoiding people, i dont date, i dont go out anymore.. im trying to figure out what the hell happend but im lost, i simply dont know. I dont think its low self-esteem (but maybe im wrong), i have demanding job, i just have to be confident in every situation, im successfull in my carreer… but when it comes to my private life.. ehm, its kinda doesnt exist to be honest.
I just dont care… i lived abroad for couple years and i loved it, i loved my friends there, i loved parties, hanging out, shopping.. i have been back home for two years now, i dont have friends here i really care about (all work far away).. its nothing exciting about this small town i live in.. boring people around..
Do you think this might be a problem? Or is it just excuse for laziness.. i cant figure it out so any advice, any suggestion, any opinion is more than welcomed!

I’ve always had this low self esteem until I started bodyrocking. I am still not too comfortable about myself and my body has always been chubby ever since I was a child. – But I ‘ve made great improvements so far. I am afraid, we are what we appear – at first. So appearance is a big issue. For me – if I look good – I feel good and then a certain glow appears, something that makes a person radiant, energetic. This is what I feel so much now recently – altough I still have a lot of “bad” days. However, I know that I am walking into the right direction, self esteem gets better and better and all the positive aspects that come with.
People suddenly smile to me, are drawn to me and kind of see me as a very positve and charismatic person. This is really something and I strongly suggest to everyone reading this being in a deep dark hole: Get out – do something good for you. Get together with a friend, talk, do sports, be active and eat well! This DOES make a difference. Believe in yourself and use not only the power of your body, but also the power of your mind!

I’ve always had this low self esteem until I started bodyrocking. I am still not too comfortable about myself and my body has always been chubby ever since I was a child. – But I ‘ve made great improvements so far. I am afraid, we are what we appear – at first. So appearance is a big issue. For me – if I look good – I feel good and then a certain glow appears, something that makes a person radiant, energetic. This is what I feel so much now recently – altough I still have a lot of “bad” days. However, I know that I am walking into the right direction, self esteem gets better and better and all the positive aspects that come with.
People suddenly smile to me, are drawn to me and kind of see me as a very positve and charismatic person. This is really something and I strongly suggest to everyone reading this being in a deep dark hole: Get out – do something good for you. Get together with a friend, talk, do sports, be active and eat well! This DOES make a difference. Believe in yourself and use not only the power of your body, but also the power of your mind!

I guess maybe you just don’t have much motivation…cause’ you are saying that before you felt excited, you took care of yourself, etc… I think you have to think if you really want a change in your life, as many people said previously…people need challenges! :) (hope I helped a bit…xoxo)

Same as you said…I’ve been (and currently) struggling with self esteem issues, at the point that I sometimes just cry because I cannot stand the way I think of myself…I sometimes feel useless, I don’t have any type of qualities, etc… In fact, I don’t even know what to do with my life…honestly…it’s so sad! I think that as many of us said, we need to find a purpose in our lives…but damn it’s hard when you don’t even have motivation… :(

I’m no expert, but I definitively think that our parents behavior have a lot to do with how we act or feel sometimes…  

What I love about Zuzanna is she is the kind of gal we aspire to be physically, right!?  I look at her with so much admiration….and I can’t even start to begin to get jealous or or start making excuses…”she is so lucky, she must have been born with great genes…etc” because when she starts to talk and share, her inner beauty just washes over me and I have so much admiration for her….she could keep her stellar physical fitness all to herself, enjoy making money in fitness magazines, etc but she shares herself with us almost every day.  All my life I have hidden from the world, forty pounds less now and in my forties, I am very attractive..for the first time!!!……not so much due to the weightloss, not so much due to those amazing muscles, but I am attractive because I smile more, share more, help others in the gym more, share good clean food more, garden more, have sex more…..and no one ever comes up and says, “if you just lost “X” amount of weight those little cellulite dimples below those awesome glutes would finally go away!”  If no one says it to me then I am not going to say those things either…treat yourself as you would treat others, turn around that golden rule……………….I love seeing overweight people out exercising, not a word of discouragement crosses my mind….I always say, “you go!  you rock!” 

You do have a problem….but it is totally fixable! yay!  I think you have to start being your own best friend first…set a goal to just be nice to yourself, set a goal to reward yourself with good wholesome food, then set a goal to come back and join us bodyrockers…just be consistent and don’t beat yourself up, even if you miss two weeks and eat nothing but chocolate cake, stay off those scales and judge your journey by how you feel, see a muscle and focus on it! flex it! enjoy it! stay focused on your favorite body part until you see another start to change…I remember seeing the tricep start to develop, watch that baby be born!  I remember when I first started seeing the lower quads peak through until finally I could see the upper part….as you become the best friend who takes care of you..your energy will change, the people drawn to you will change, the universe will give you little signs along the way of where you need to go and you won’t be so discouraged you can’t hear the little nudgings, see life’s small good things that lead to better things….like new friends, a job in a more exciting town maybe…etc…and PLEASE :) change your name from SizeXXL…give us something that defines “YOU” because it isn’t your size!

Waw… well thank you very much .. i think you are right… i should be a best friend for myself, i have never thought about it but you really very right.. i will find a part of my body i like (im avoiding mirror) instead of beeing disgusted of my wheight. This journey is much harder than i thought it gonna be, so thank you very much for advice! OK, next time see you with healthier body and new nick :)

Waw… well thank you very much .. i think you are right… i should be a best friend for myself, i have never thought about it but you really very right.. i will find a part of my body i like (im avoiding mirror) instead of beeing disgusted of my wheight. This journey is much harder than i thought it gonna be, so thank you very much for advice! OK, next time see you with healthier body and new nick :)

Reading your post, it seems to me you’re giving up before even trying. I don’t know your whole story but loving yourself … I don’t think it comes naturally – we LEARN to love. Just as we LEARN to hate. And if you have learned that you are not good enough for yourself, then you can learn that you are good, ‘perfect’ just the way you are (if you want to use the expression). How you’ll learn it, only you know. Because you know your most inner thoughts and feelings that you’re banning yourself, you being satisfied with. I think you need to do something you feel you can’t. And when you go over one obstacle, you start to believe in yourself. Not believe – trust! You gain confidence in yourself by managing things you thought you couldn’t. And this, I think, is the way towards self-respect, satisfaction and loving yourself. Hope you can get something for yourself from this. :)

I needed to read your words.. I took my fitness to a level last year that blew my own socks off. Then LIFE happened and I gained 20 pounds. I have been fighting to shed the weight all year. I start cutting fat and drop a few pounds in just a few short weeks and then I start feeding my emotions again and put the weight back on. It has been a roller coaster ride, but after reading this I realize that  I can do this. I can get back to where I was, but it starts with my thoughts. I have always known that my thoughts control or affect my actions and my actions affect my results! Thank you so much for sharing!
Namaste

Auntie Diana: will you marry me? LOL Thank you so much for taking cognitive therapy!!! I’m a big cognitive fan, actually I don’t know why anyone would do anything else. Your posts are a good reminder.

I am not surprised to hear how many people who use this site regularly struggle with self esteem issues. We’re a bunch of over achievers which usually equals low self esteem. This is coming from a level gaze.

Sadly the people we often find attractive are narcissists. They’re very attractive people because they’re confident and love themselves so completely.