From the Paleo Diet to Carb Cycling to Keto to Intermittent Fasting, it can seem like there are too many choices of Diet Plans. You need to chose one that will allow you to function at full capacity, yet not gain weight or suffer from bland, tasteless meals. Your diet also can’t be too much trouble to find ingredients for, or too restrictive, or you will end up cheating and giving up on it altogether.
There are some diets you can easily make a decision about however. Read below some of the insane diets that charlatans would have you believe are the answer to losing weight and keeping it off!
If It Looks Like Food, And Feels Like Food…
This diet is literally all about eating…well, nothing! Some practitioners call themselves “Breathairians” and claim to be continuing an Ancient Hindu practice of living on “sunlight and tea.” Other practitioners actually mime the act of eating. They cook a full meal but simply omit all the ingredients, then plate the meal, sit down and lift their fork repeatedly to their mouth. The idea is that you can trick your body into a muscle memory of eating, digesting, and burning fat cells when no food is provided. The only problem is, it’s total bull. Your body will go into starvation mode and break down your muscle proteins for fuel in just a couple of days. In a week you won’t be able to walk, but you will be skinny. After another week, your skin will break out in open sores, your stomach will swell up, you’ll feel nauseous all the time, and your teeth will start to fall out. You’ll basically look like Gollum, but hey, nobody ever told him he’s put on weight, right?
All Hail The Glow King
In Hong Kong, there is a growing number of Sun Gazers, led by the Supreme Master Ching Hai who resides in Los Angeles. They stare directly into the sun twice a day, usually before and after work. Apparently this diet is more “effective” when they find a beach to stand on, but the reasons for that are not very clear. In essence the practitioners of this Diet believe that like plants, we can absorb enough nutrients to live just by soaking up the Vitamin D from the solar rays. However the practice seems largely Spiritual, and the Supreme Master herself does not mention Vitamin D at all. She does however, suggest that Italians are skinny and beautiful because it’s so sunny in Italy.
Cotton Dipping Blues
Our examples are now getting a bit more sinister, because they are practiced by young people for the most part, rather than misguided adults. Apparently spurred on by Social Media, teenagers across the United States are drenching cotton balls in orange juice, thinking that they the balls are actually plants, rather than processed raw materials intended for spinning into fabric or for used to apply topical medicines. Teenagers report feeling full and losing weight, which should be a theme by now: yes, if you starve yourself you can lose weight. Unlike the first two examples which will make you sick from malnutrition, this diet can actually cause bowel blockages and bloat you up until you resemble, well, a human-shaped stuffed animal!
The Pretty Bird Gets The Worm
By far and away the most grotesque and disturbing diet, and even more sad because people who follow this diet tend to be 15-year old girls who compete in beauty pageants. Typically it is the mother of these girls who find diet pills on the black market. To be fair, whether the mothers know what is in the pills or not is unclear. The pills in some cases contain hundreds of tiny white tapeworm eggs. In one case, the full complement of eggs hatched, and a young woman was admitted into a hospital because she was vomiting worms, some of which were over two feet long. So yeah…don’t do that. And don’t buy unmarked diet pills from shady internet sites. We have said to you time and time again, you cannot pop a magic weight-loss pill. They simply don’t exist.
Looking For A Sustainable Diet?
At BodyRock, we follow the philosophy that you just need to cut down a bit on portion size, pay attention to how much protein you are eating and what kind of carbs you are eating, and voila — you will look and feel amazingly healthy. We are not extremely strict, and we suggest cheats here and there, especially since over time, you will crave these less and less. The main concept behind eating clean is simply to find a sustainable and delicious diet, full of flavor and with easy-to-find ingredients. We encourage lots of home cooking, and especially suggest staying away from processed food. After everything you just read, how reasonable and yummy does that sound right now?
Only $19 for a Meal Plan, Nutrition Guide, and Recipe Book that will give you more than 30 Days of Clean Eating inspiration!