11 Ways to Get Out Of Giving a Blow Job. That's 10 Too Many.

I read the headline,  11 Ways to Get Out of Giving a Blow Job: For when "I have to Wash My Hair" doesn't work, and I got angry. A woman needs 11 ways? Really? As far as I can tell, she needs one. And the one she needs didn't even make the list. A simple 'no' is enough. No explanation required. Just 'no.'  The list includes dazzling pearls of wisdom like:

You've Been Told Your Teeth Are Really, Really Sharp Those incisors are long and strong. And your molars might as well be used to crush diamonds.

I guess that excuse will last you a long time, huh? Maybe we should write a list of excuses to use when he suggests you go have your teeth shaved. Teeth shaving a ridiculous notion? This entire list is a ridiculous notion.

The Dentist Recently Numbed You You can't even feel your face and you aren't supposed to put anything in your mouth—doctor's orders!

Honestly, I couldn't make this up if I tried. Is there a reason why a women's magazine believes women don't have the ability to stand up for themselves? Is there a reason we buy into it? We start petitions and stage protests against "rape culture" but are, in pieces like this one, being hit with the suggestion that we don't have the ability to easily refrain from unwanted sexual activity in our private lives. Ladies, it is an antiquated notion. We aren't property and our sexual interests are every bit as valuable as his. If you don't want to do something, that is all the reason you need. No need to dance around it. It is dishonest to behave otherwise. Dishonest in your relationship and dishonest to your sense of self. If you don't honour your own wishes on your own terms, it will eat you up. I'm also more than a little offended at the portrayal of oral sex as a chore. No sex act should be viewed that way. Sometimes you can really like performing an act, like oral sex, but don't always want to. That doesn't turn it into 'something to get out of.' Just say no. If you are with a man who shames you or makes feel like a poor partner when you don't want to perform a blow job, than you need to not be with that man. If oral sex is something you don't like to perform and would rather not, that's a conversation worth having. We do ourselves a disservice as women when we make excuses for our feelings. This is 2015, speak your mind. I remember reading articles like this one 20 years ago when I was in high school. Unbelievable to me that this attitude persists. You may want to be the "perfect" partner (hence the need for excuses when "I don't want to" is the actual reason) but you can't do that at your own expense. I sincerely hope I am missing the point and this list is a tongue in cheek joke (pun intended). But I suspect not. This is just a re-visioning of "I can't, I've got my period." Don't even get me started on that one. Read the list here and tell us what you think.