If only sex happened like it did on TV or in the movies. You go on your date, you decide to invite him up, clothes get torn off and you end up in orgasmic bliss. In reality, it isn't usually that stress free. Many of us have too many pre sex rituals for things to ever be that spontaneous. When taking on a new partner, we are much happier when we have a little time to get things just so. Below is a list of 12 things
we do, even if we don't admit it.
1. Whip Out That Matching Lingerie That Never Sees the Light of Day
Then the real debate happens. Do you wear it under your clothes for the entire date or put it in your purse so you can slip it on in the bathroom before the deed.
2. Shave—or Wax, or Depilate—Everything
It's okay to let the hair go wild but sometimes, just sometimes, you want to be smooth!
3. ...Or Awkwardly Dry Shave in the Bathroom Right Before
It never fails, the day you don't shave, is the day you meet the perfect guy for a little spontaneous fun so you end up tidying the best you can with his razor under the guise of 'freshening up.'
4. Do a Hack Job Tidying Up Your Room to Appear Like a Functioning Member of Society
You don't plan to do a deep clean of your entire apartment but you will throw the clothes on the floor into your closet and make your bed. Hide it at least.
5. Give Yourself a Thorough Inspection Down There
Logically, you know your vulva doesn't look any different that the last time you looked at it but well, you just have to give it once over all the same.
6. Prep a Playlist
Are you going to leave your sexy time tunes up to the shuffle gods? Didn't think so, the only way to control the ambiance, is to create it yourself.
7. Pee, Obviously
We don't want any accidents. Or discomfort.
8. Guard What You Eat All Day Pre-Sex
If you think you might get lucky that night, you'll avoid gas inducing and high sodium foods. Oh, and garlic. This is pretty much mandatory for creating peace.
9. Do Smell Checks Everywhere
Catching whiff of your armpits while getting undressed is an under appreciated art form. You, you are a master.
10. Consider Doing Something Drastic Down There
You think about spraying or something, anything to make you feel fresh but in the end you decide to just give it a little wash. Lady land is sensitive.
11. Mentally Check Whether You Used Your Birth Control as Directed Lately
Even if you are super meticulous about it, the thought of impending sex will definitely plant some seeds of doubt.
12. Give Yourself a Pep Talk in the Bathroom Mirror
While you're in the bathroom to "freshen up," you might as well give yourself a pep talk. You are a sexy beast who is about to blow his mind!
Time to weigh in, any of these gems in your pre sex routine?
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