We've all met them. We've all known them. Read on to see if you have any of these toxic
friends in your life and if the answer is an unfortunate yes, you might want to consider trimming the fat.
1. The friend who flakes so much you don't even know how she shows up to her own life.
Every time you make plans with her, the odds of her actually showing are slim to nil. Sometimes, she can trick you into thinking you're crazy for getting upset with her 'quirky' behaviour. Being a flake doesn't make her quirky. It makes her someone who has no respect for you, your time, or your friendship. She only cares about herself.
2. The friend who only ever wants to talk about herself.
You mention that you are taking a vacation in NYC and now you have to listen to her drone on and on about what an amazing time she had when she went. She may not be as selfish as she appears. The problem is in her listening. She only hears the parts of conversations that she can turn into conversations about herself. Real friends actually listen to what you say.
3. The friend who tries to pressure you into binge drinking or doing drugs.
Saying no should be the end of the conversation. Some people must go through life in an intoxicated haze (for many different reasons) but if you are able to enjoy life while being clean and sober, why are you spending time with someone who is trying to alter that?
4. The friend who is way past graduation and can't stop binge drinking or doing drugs.
Many people experiment but if you are into your 30's and can't get through your weekend without doing lines of coke in a public toilet, it may be time to reevaluate your life. If this sounds like your friends, you need to examine why you are hanging out with them. You deserve friends who can focus on just hanging out without having to schedule trips to the washroom to maintain their high.
5. The friend who sleeps with the guy she knows you like without talking to you about it first.
Not everyone we like, likes us back. You are reasonable, you know this. But a friend who sleeps with the guy you like without talking to you first, is a jerk. You can totally get over him, but you shouldn't have to get over your friends. She's supposed to have your back.
6. The friend who doesn't support you when something major changes in your life.
You got a new job, or got engaged or just had an awesome, romantic vacation with your boyfriend. You want friends who can be excited for you and celebrate with you not friends who try to one up you, change the subject or say horrible, backhanded things.
7. The friend who expects you to do everything for her but doesn't do you any favors in return.
You do favours for her when she asks. You buy her drinks when you go out now and again. She never does the same for you. You are always available when she needs advice or someone to listen but she doesn't have the time to take your call when you need her. She's selfish. You're not. You don't need to be in a one sided relationship.
8. The friend who has nothing nice to say about your other friends.
We don't love everyone who is friends with our friends. And we don't have to. But it is pretty obnoxious when someone badmouths your
friends to your face. These people don't usually have actual problems with your friends. They are just trying to stir the pot because they love the drama.
9. The friend who is never happy for you because she's jealous.
This is the friend that constantly makes backhanded comments about all you do and tries way too hard to one up you. If her focus is comparison and not friendship, you don't need her.
10. The friend who is negative about everything all the time.
She hates everything. She hates every person you meet, every party you attend, every restaurant where you eat brunch. Spending time with negative people just makes you feel lousy. You deserve happiness so don't put up with less.
11. The friend who wants nothing to do with you as soon as she has a new boyfriend.
Isn't it a rule that you are to put your friends first? Obviously the excitement of the new relationship and all the new sex she's having has made her forget that you were there for her when she needed it most. You deserve someone who isn't going to disappear completely when they find a new dude. Yes, new relationships require time spent together but not ALL of her time needs to be spent there.
12. The friend who gives you backhanded compliments.
The friend who says things like, "I love how you are not obsessed with clothes. It must make life so much easier." People who make comments like that, plan their comments. The calculate what they can say to inflict the most hurt while still making themselves look good. These people are not cool. You are.
Do any of these people appear in your peer group? Do you think you could cut them loose?