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The 12 Worst Kinds Of Humans You See At The Supermarket

May 22, 2015 2 min read

My goal every time I need groceries is simple - get in, get out and get home as quickly as possible. Grocery stores can be difficult to navigate at the best of times, and a serious pain if its after work or at other peak times. Making it infinitely worse are the characters that can slow you down, drive you nuts or both:

1. The zen master

Just taking her time packing at the checkout. Just chilling. Paying no attention the line growing ever longer behind her. You'd be envious of her carefree ways if you weren't so annoyed. It takes everything in your power to not throw produce at her head.

2. The reduced aisle hogger

Why are you so special that you can have ALL reduced goodies? Just stop it and save some of the reduced sausages for us, will ya? We have needs too, you know!

3. The grouchy staffer

You've been extremely rude and interrupted their inter-colleague conversation by asking if there was any more half and half in back. They tell you no. Without looking. Their lies hang in the air like cheap cologne.

4. The bread squisher

Gee, I wonder which one of the 8 baguettes you've manhandled, squeezed and put back I should choose. Fondled bread is the best bread.

5. The bagging area buffoon

It never fails. The people who know next to nothing about technology, flock to the self check out. Again, must refrain from throwing produce.

6. The queue huffer

Listen, we all want to get home. Huffing down the back of my neck and sighing loudly to show your displeasure won't get any of us there any faster!

7. The overzealous divider

You've only just finished, like just this second finished, unloading your groceries when the person in front of you slams down the divider like they are ashamed to be near your groceries.

8. The trolley abandoner

They're just casually leaving their baskets and trolleys unattended they can wander off somewhere with not a single care that they are totally blocking your passage.

9. The purse rummager

They could be rifling through their 73 loyalty cards or they could be digging around and saying "I know I have exact change here somewhere." Either way, the thought of getting reading while waiting in line never occurs to this person.

10. The shelfblockers

All you want to do is just swoop in and grab your favourite can of soup but someone is in the way, examining the labels and doing complex calculus to see which brand is more cost effective. If you don't know what you want, step away from the shelves!

11. The pushover parent

Child wants candy. Mom says no. Child asks again in really annoying voice. Mom says no. Child throws a screaming fit. Mom caves. Little brat: 1, Mom: 0

 12. The extreme couponer

The dedication it takes to amass such a large quantity of money saving coupons is impressive. But getting stuck behind one? Not cool.   What sort of folks drive you insane at the supermarket? h/t: Cosmopolitan

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