15 Signs You're a Woman on a First Date
There are few things more nerve-wracking than a first date, but Cosmo UK has created a list that any woman who's been a partner in that dance can recognize.
You might be on a first date if:
1. You can't look at your date and not see that wedding photo you wish you hadn't googled.
2. You have lost control of your ability to complete a coherent sentence.
3. You couldn't decide between spanx or a thong so you went cowboy and you're grateful for the tablecloth.
4. You're wearing an outfit you just bought last night because your other date night clothes remind you of your ex. Also, new clothes somehow make your body look fitter.
5. Your new outfit is a strange color you don't usually wear but the salesgirl swears it's "on trend." Your boobs are strategically covered just so you don't look like a nature documentary about mating display.
6. Your eyeliner is somewhere between Courtney Love and Cleopatra because you couldn't get "smokey eye" right. But your lipstick is neutral so it won't get on the wineglass. This is something you planned.
7. You pick apart most of the first fifteen minutes for body language clues that your date wishes there had been a work emergency and cancelled. You astral project to the other side of the table and assess your own posture.
8. You have a mental rolodex ready of topics to get through the evening in case things tank early.
9. You find that you've been out of the game longer than you thought. Your ability to smolder with a glance has become something like a YouTube video of a dental patient after surgery.
10. You show up first and find yourself the most interested you have ever been in what's happening on Facebook while you wait and practice your casual lean against the wall outside of the building.
11. You make creepy eye contact with every person in the room because the friend who fixed you up never sent the photo she promised.
12. You have been stressing about the kiss vs. handshake hello since you left home.
13. You keep your wallet on the table to show you are ready and willing to buy your own drinks.
14. You've needed to pee for the last half hour, but don't want to get up and sashay to the bathroom in front of your date because now your bladder is overfull and bloated.
15. You are mentally preparing for seven good night scenarios at once while trying to follow the conversation.