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18 Things You Do When You're Alone - That No One Can Ever Know

May 26, 2015 2 min read

Alone time is the best. No one can judge you and you have full right to be as gross or weird as you want. Best part? It's your little secret. Here are just a few things that you may or may not be keeping to yourself - and you're totally not alone. 1. Break out dance moves in front of the mirror that you wouldn't even whip out at the club after a few tequila shots. You know you look awesome, but the club so couldn't handle you.   2. Eat peanut butter out of the jar by the light of the refrigerator.Or cream cheese. Or yogurt. Or cold leftover pizza. You're not picky as long as you've got that mood lighting. 3. Ignore serving sizes completely. Who says you can't have three quarters of a frozen pizza all for yourself? 4. Talk to your TV shows. And by talk, we mean yell. Your favorite character won't stop doing stupid things, and you have a lot of feelings. 5. Treat your pets like small children. Praising them, baby-talking them, scolding them, bowing to their every whim. What, doesn't every pet owner do these things? 6. Do sniff checks. There are a lot of weird-smelling things in the world. You have to make sure you're not one of them. 7. Try over-the-top makeup looks that you would never wear in public. You've recreated your teenage goth phase at least three times. 8. Facebook stalk old flames. And not just the one that you have a big history with. Even people who disappeared after two dates are fair game. 9. Tinder while going to the bathroom. You can skip that part when telling your future children how you met. 10. Dig for ingrown hairs. The satisfaction you get from plucking those suckers is one of the bigger mysteries of the universe—even if you know that it's not the best way to deal with them. 11. Fall over in attempt to put on tight pants. There's also usually grunting involved. 12. Spend the night putting a dent in a bottle of wine and mindlessly surfing the Web. You weren't lying when you told your friends you had plans—you just didn't go into detail. 13. Attempt to do workout videos in your tiny room. And wind up flailing around like an idiot and making your downstairs neighbors hate you. 14. Cry loudly to sad music, whether or not you have a good reason to. Sometimes you gotta emote, you know? 15. Spend at least 20 minutes trying to find your best selfie angle.And that's not including the time you took finding the perfect lighting in your apartment. 16. Check yourself out in the mirror for way too long and admire how bangable you are. 17. Casually play with your boobs or man parts. They're soft and a great place to rest your hands. Why wouldn't you? 18. Whatever you want—because it's your alone time and no one can judge you. H/T: Women's Health

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