May 05, 2015
19 Creative Ways to Make Everyone In Your Yoga Class Feel Uncomfortable
Have you ever been in class and wondered just how far you could push things before people started to get upset? Want to test their "namaste" attitude? Borrow a few gems from this list from Distractify and see what happens. If you're brave enough, that is. 1. Yell "What?" every time the teacher calls out a pose. 2. Force a fart then sigh loudly. 3. Make eye contact between the legs of the person in front of you when they're in downward dog. Wink. 4. Every few poses, turn to your neighbor and say, "This pose has revolutionized my sex life." 5. Ask your neighbor if you can switch mats for a while because you like theirs better. 6. Thrust your hips and yell, "All aboard!" during bridge pose. 7. Sniff your armpit then ask your neighbor if they think you smell okay. 8. Sit in the back row and yell out, "Damn, these asses be looking mighty fine!" when everyone is in downward dog. 9. Inform the class that they're going to hell for their heathen ways, but you can help them see the light. 10. Ask your neighbor if you can sit in their lap when they do chair pose. 11. Start yelling, "MOM, IS THAT YOU? HOW'S HEAVEN? I MISS YOU SO MUCH, MOM!" during meditation. 12. When you get hands-on assistance from the instructor, cry and tell them how you haven't felt someone's touch in years. 13. Stare at your neighbor and start laughing. Don't explain why. 14. Hum "Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting" every time you do a warrior pose. 15. Yell, "Look at me! I'M FLYING! I'M FLYYINGGG!" whenever you do an inversion. 16. Whisper "Mm, I really love this pose" during every pose. 17. Announce at the beginning of class that you find yoga to be a very sexual experience, and you're glad to be so close to so many sweaty bodies. 18. Ask your neighbor if you can hold their hand during savasana. 19. Yell, "E.T. PHONE--" right before the class chants "om" together.