May 13, 2015
20 Telling Signs Someone Is In An Abusive Relationship
It isn't unusual for people to change their behaviours when they enter a relationship. For example, you may see fewer pictures of nights out at the bar and more pictures of their new love popping on their social media. They may not be in contact as often as building a relationship takes some time and effort.
But do you have a friend who is just 'different' or completely disappeared from your social circle? You might want to take note.
Maybe you have noticed she seems a little more timid when she does come out with you guys. She seems distracted, her laughter forced. She's wears clothing that covers more skin than she had before.
It is hard to know what is going on behind closed doors and you aren't likely going to catch her tweeting the 'real' story. Below are 20 signs that someone my be in an abusive relationship. But probably the most important thing to remember is that victims of domestic violence and its perpetrators have no specific demographic or orientation. It can happen to just about anyone. And I don't want to offend or mislead so please note that I will be using female pronouns for the victim and male for the perpetrator but that is obviously not the entire picture when it comes this issue. Domestic violence can be experienced by any sex and in any relationship configuration, female on male, male on male, female on female. My pronoun choice is only for the sake of simplifying this piece, not this issue.
1. She neglects her beauty habits relative to her pre-relationship routine.
She may stop tanning or getting her nails done. She may lose or gain weight. His judgments are lowering her self esteem and it is likely he is doing it all as a means to prevent other men from 'wanting' her or to make her feel like she isn't worthy of being wanted.2. She may have physical wounds.
Bruises, scratches, cuts, jammed fingers, black eyes, a broken nose. These are usually pretty obvious signs of violence. Abusers are usually smart enough to inflict most of these wounds in places that usually remain unseen in public.3. Her clothing may have changed to hide evidence of physical abuse.
Tank tops to long sleeve blouses, for example. It could also be a tactic used by the abuser to hide her from other men.4. On the flipside of appearance changes, a victim’s looks may “improve.”
She has been molded into a trophy or a prop for him. If she doesn't look perfect, she is unacceptable to him. He make my snide comments about what she eats or how much she weighs.5. She is significantly less social.
She doesn't make small talk in the break room anymore and disappears at lunch instead of eating with her friends like she used to. She avoids guys and conversation in general. You won't see her out for girls' night anymore and she doesn't go to parties or social events without him.6. She's noticeably less confident.
She's no longer talkative or the life of the party. She's lost that electric spark that was her personality. She "blends in" now. When he's around, she looks for his approval before she doesn't anything.7. Her body language changes.
She doesn't walk into the room confidently, she makes a beeline straight for the corner. She avoids conversation and walks around with her eyes downcast. He doesn't want her to talk to anyone.8. She's always distracted or preoccupied.
She seems to be constantly walking on eggshells. She's distant even when she's 'engaged' in conversation. She always seems to be checking the clock or her phone. When she talks, it is like she's trying to choose the right words before she says them.9. She's attached to her phone when she's not near him.
Her phone is always in her hand or at least visible to her because if she misses a call or a text from him, she's in serious trouble when next they meet.