The Huffington Post posted this article about 23 fashion trends that women love with lovely little quotes from men below them. While I can appreciate and understand wanting to visibly appeal to the opposite sex, it's not every woman's goal when getting dressed in the morning.
Here's the list!
"That top you wore last weekend, the black one. Looks like maternity wear."
"Peplums... I just don't get it."
What's not to get? It can hide any pooch you may have going on, comes in a variety of necklines and sleeve lengths, and the waist line is incredibly slimming.
"I hate how girls wear those knit hats on the top of their heads... it's clearly not even for warmth... and it looks dumb... always very neon-colored."
Men of the world; realistically 99% of you could spend 10 seconds on your hair and look presentable. If you're feeling particularly ambitious, maybe you'll pull out that gel/mousse/wax that you're not sure of - slap way too much on - and strut out (thinking) you look like 70's Travolta. Let me paint you a picture: You wake up at 8:30 and need to be out of the house by 9. Your hair is in that weird stage in your wash-cycle where it doesn't like to be fully tied up but is starting to separate and curl in weird patterns near your scalp. Solution: Beanie.
"I hate Isabel Marant sneakers... fuck 'em to hell."
Some days are meant for flats that are kinda-girly, kinda-butch and when full-on boots won't cut it, wedge sneakers will.
"There's this look I would call 'the bourgeoise bohemian" that involves those floppy felt hats. This look is played out."
No. It's not. The end.
"Shirts that reveal the sides of their bodies showing their bra... do you know what I mean?"
We can spend upwards of $50 on one bra. At least I can. So I'm gonna freaking show it off! Plus, if it's 90+ degrees outside and you can avoid pit stains, wouldn't you?
"Really really bright lipstick, because gross you're going to get that on me."
"It's like hooker red lipstick."
It's been scientifically proven that men are more attracted to the colour red. So....
Heavy Eye Makeup
"Raccoon eye shadow."
"TOO MUCH EYE MAKEUP."
When you have the time and desire to do your makeup, it can be like painting a picture. You get to play with so many different colour combinations, sparkly and matte and shimmer and glossy - it's like being a kid again. Are you really going to rob us of reliving our childhood?
"Bikinis without shoulder straps."
"Definitely strapless bikinis, they just make your shoulders look like a linebacker's."
I've always heard skirts referred to as "easy access". Is this not the top equivalent? Besides, any day you can go braless and avoid tan lines is a good day.
"Pointy-toed shoes and
Of all the things you could be concerned about in the world, how pointy a woman's shoes are makes your list..?
"I hate fake fingernails."
I can mostly agree with this one. Long, manicured nails are 100% better looking, but I still can't help but think of this
"High-waisted mom jeans, especially the blotchy light and dark ones (acid wash?)."
High-waisted jeans have the ability to create that "ideal" hour-glass shape...?
"High-waisted shorts that basically reveal butt cheek. Too much."
"Shorts so short that the pockets are visible. Why?"
"The return of our moms' high-waisted shorts is the most unattractive recycled trend going on nowadays... It makes the fittest girl look frumpy and the less fit girls look even more unfortunate."
"I think the high-waisted skirt thing should probably be over. It's one of those things where you're trying too hard, it lacks a certain degree of subtlety."
Again. See above. And subtlety for what? Trying too hard for what? I usually default to my high-waisted skirts when I'm bloated/running late but still want to look cute. You put that same t-shirt you were going to wear with jeans with a high waisted skirt and you've gone from daytime to nighttime look in 20 seconds (the middle picture is a great example of that). The argument of girls taking too long to get ready is decently valid, but then you knock our cheats? Can't have both.
Fold-Over Ankle Boots
"Booties with flaps of fabric folded over on top - it looks like the shoes have foreskins."
If your penis looks like that then keep it the hell away from me.
"Guys won't be looking at your shapely physique if your ankles keep buckling and you walk like a toddler with a diaper full of poop and/or a drunk giraffe."
"I hate when women wear shoes that they know are uncomfortable, and then they complain all night about how much their feet hurt. I'd much rather a girl wear shoes they can have fun in."
"Heels so high they look like they're a clown on stilts -- and have to walk just as slowly and clumsily."
If you can't walk in them, you shouldn't be wearing them. Valid. But those super-trendy sky-high Lita shoes? Surprisingly easy to walk in (coming from someone who can often look like that drunk giraffe. I just don't have the balance for heels)
"Men's business suits...you're a woman, not a man."
"So put on a skirt and make me a sandwich".....for real?! I have a TON of cute business/office dresses that I would LOVE to wear. But, my industry (like many) is male dominated. And so I choose to wear pants on almost EVERY occasion for three reasons
1) Appearing lower maintenance can help as a female. You're not worrying about the way you bend over or constantly pulling on your clothing to cover your ass. It simpler, classier and immediately shows that you DO mean business.
2) Not wondering if your boss/coworker/surrounding humans are trying to look up your skirt can drastically reduce the sexual harassment/awkwardness factor
"Hammer pants. Really, any loose fitting pants that are not either gym clothes, sweats or pajamas."
"The first thing that came to mind was those horrible giant crotch-pouch pants that I've only ever seen really 'trendy' girls or Japanese guys wear...No matter who is wearing them, I always picture them naked having enormous, cartoon balls, and so needing those special pants to accommodate their grotesque ailment."
If you're picturing strangers with cartoon balls, that sounds more like a personal problem. And by no means do pants need to be tight to be sexy. Not to mention they are SUPER comfortable
"Giant bows in their hair, after roughly the age of elementary school."
"It's clothing that is too young for them."
So are t-shirts with comic book characters, but we don't deny you that right. A well-placed hair-bow is incredibly playful and an easy accessory to amp up your outfit.
"A gigantic number of bangles, which just gets super annoying when they're clanging around all the time."
It's not your wrist - how is it annoying? Because you can hear it? Is the rest of the world completely silent asides from my deafeningly loud bracelets? I bet you your cell phone will go off within the next hour and then we'll get to find out what your favourite theme song is at full volume.
"Overlarge sweaters -- seriously, get out of the '80s."
That left image + thigh-high wool socks and some boots is like my go-to outfit. Oversized sweaters are ridiculously versatile and are not only fashionable but very WARM. I live in a place that regularly reaches -20C....you're damn right I'm gonna buy that sweater.
"Mullet dresses (called like uneven something or other)... I just don't get it -- where's the f*****g party??? You are covering the back!"
You're not invited. That's where. Shows some leg, but keeps it modest. Has the best part of the miniskirt (showing some skin) minus the worst (bending over and showing all the skin).
"I'm not much of a leggings guy either. Once in a while is fine, but as a standard pant option, it's boring and predictable. Florals spice it up a bit but they're also a little gimmicky."
Gimmicky? Boring? Predictable? Is this guy sure he knows what leggings are? They can be pretty much any colour/pattern/material imaginable. They go with EVERY possible top and every company in existence has a DIFFERENT type. My personal favorite (and DEFINITELY not boring or predictable) being Dutch Blonde.
"This isn't the '80s."
This seems to have been the excuse for at least 5 or 6 of these trends. You're right, it's not the 80's. It's 2015. And shoulder pads can be awesome. All good things in moderation.
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