5 Real Women Talk About The Impact Of A Newborn On Their Marriages

Nothing can prepare you for the changes that will happen after you have a baby. Everything changes. And no matter how many times you hear it, it is still impossible to prepare for. Having a baby may bring you and your partner closer together, help you parent as a team but most people report that an infant causes significant strain. Women's Health talked to 5 real women and this is what they had to say: “I feel like we fell apart for a good year. Those first six months, we screamed more than we ever have. I don't even remember the details, but I do remember standing in the bathroom, screaming, sobbing, and thinking, ‘OMG, you are the most inept a-hole I've ever met.’ I felt really scared when we'd fight because I didn't know we were capable of having that much anger toward each other. I also remember thinking that the qualities I love in a husband—carefree, silly, laid back—are not the qualities I needed in a father/partner, and it really hit me over the head that I might have two kids to take care of. I resented that a lot. Eventually, I felt like we'd gone from me hating him and him just feeling disconnected to us becoming more kind to each other. We were a good team and were super nice about it all, but we felt really different to me. I think when the baby turned a year, things began to shift for the better. It wasn't perfect, but we did an overnight and left the baby with my parents. That was nice, and I remember feeling like, ‘Oh yeah, this is who we are!’ We'd lost ourselves, and our relationship was part of that, during that year.” —Karen “It was like Armageddon in our house after our son was born. My husband has a high-pressure job and was working all the time, so he wasn’t much help at all. He slept in our spare bedroom for the first four months so that he could actually get some sleep while I took care of the baby at night. I also suffered from post-partum depression, and I think he didn’t know how to deal with me. I just felt alone and sad. It was really, really hard.” —Sarah "What was my marriage like after we had a baby? Constant fighting. Between me and the baby, I felt like someone was always in tears. Now, life is back to normal, but at first it was just... hard." -- Amanda “Our roles changed after we had a baby, and we both had to figure out what we were comfortable with so that things were still fair. It was a hard adjustment. I stopped working after we had our second baby, and thatreally switched things up for us. Suddenly, more chores and responsibility fell on me. It wasn’t an easy adjustment.” —Audrey “After we had a baby, I was doing everything for our newborn and most of the stuff around the house, too. I was going insane and would cry for most of the day. I’m not a silent sufferer, though—I made it known that I was unhappy. I started to shift tasks to my husband, but then I became a nagging wife. It took a while, but we took some big steps in the right direction and are now working toward a common goal.” —Kelly What changed in your marriage after your little bundle was born? Share your story with us.

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