We've been there: That one drink that makes you wonder why you and your platonic friend have never done it or maybe it was one tequila shot too many and those aggressive advances at the bar from sideways smile guy are suddenly the perfect reason to live a little. Whatever it is - drunk sex happens. In theory -super awesome - execution, however, it's not always all it's cracked up to be.
1. It numbs the vagina
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, inhibiting the parts of the central nervous system that control respiration, circulation and sensitivity of nerve endings. I don't know how you're wired - but on your average person these are pretty crucial for arousal and orgasm. This can make things go "meh" pretty fast.
2. It affects his erection
Alcohol causes dehydration, resulting in decreased blood volume and a rise in angiotensin, the hormone associated with erectile dysfunction. For those of you who skipped science class or sex ed - he needs to have blood in his penis for it to stay hard.
3. It can prevent either of you getting off
Alcohol has been proven to delay and even prevent orgasms altogether. A study conducted in 2004 found that 11% of alcohol users were more likely to have issues reaching orgasm on the regular. The men had difficulty ejaculating while the women needed much more stimulation to reach orgasm than ladies who had little or nothing to drink. That certainly takes the fun out of things.
4. It stops you getting wet
So you may have been way more seductive and vocal about your sexual desires thanks to the happy juice, but because alcohol dehydrates you, it dehydrates ALL of you. Teamed with his inability to finish (see above) this will more than likely result in endless, definitely uncomfortable and ultimately pointless ploughing. Unless drunk-you carries lube at all times - in which case we applaud you and your drunk sex survival kit.
5. It makes you more likely to forget protection
Alcohol has been proven to make you SEVEN TIMES more likely to have unprotected sex, resulting in longer-lasting issues than your nasty hangover. STD's and potential babies are for life.