Facebook is an interesting space. It allows us to put ourselves out there for anyone to see and yet it also provides some cover for some creepy and unbecoming behaviour.
While neck deep in a real Facebook creep, have you ever wondered what other people are up to out there? Women's Health asked 9 guys
to spill the beans. Here's what they had to say:
“There was a time when I was seeing a couple of girls at the same time, and during that time I managed my Facebook profile like a hawk. If I was in a photo with one of the women, I’d make sure that all of my friends could see it except the other girl I was seeing. I also made sure her friends were blocked so they wouldn’t have anything to gossip to her about. This backfired eventually when I got drunk one night and forgot to manage who could and couldn’t see a post of me with a girl I was dating. The other girl saw it and questioned me about it, and I came clean that we weren’t really exclusive—which she had assumed we were. I’m not a good person. Anyway, she got me back by posting a bunch of different pictures with a bunch of different guys within the span of a couple weeks after we broke up. I wish she would have just blocked me, but I also deserved to see her happy with other guys, I guess.”
“I have done this more than once: I’ll set up a first date with a woman on a dating app and then use her phone number or some other information to find her Facebook and scour it. I bet a lot of people do that these days, but I use it as a way to figure out more about her interests so I can research them and seem like we have more in common than we really do when we meet in real life.”
“I think if you break up with someone, you should immediately unfriend each other on Facebook. My ex and I haven’t done that, and I’m too weak to be the one to pull the trigger. Every now and then, I’ll go onto her Facebook and go back years into the past to like or comment on an old post, just so she’ll see it and maybe wonder what my deep dive into her online past means. A more mature person would just reach out to see how an ex is doing, but not me!”
“I had dated a girl for a long time, and we had remained close friends afterward. One day, I saw that she had un-friended me on Facebook, and when I asked her about it, she said her boyfriend had requested she do so. Apparently, he had seen some messages and/or chats that he felt were flirtatious. I was angry that my friend would just cut me out of her life because her boyfriend wanted her to, so for a while I used Facebook to send her weird messages and things at random times in hopes her boyfriend would see them and it would start a fight. One time, I even poked her boyfriend, just to make things really
“I was one of those guys who told his girlfriend we didn’t need to go ‘Facebook official’ because it was stupid and not something we should do to prove the legitimacy of our relationship to other people. But the real reason was that I didn’t want other women to know for sure that I was exclusive with someone. It was a very shady and dishonest way of keeping my options open.”
“My girlfriend is kind of the jealous type, so I’ll adjust my settings so she doesn’t see pictures of me with other girls—girls I have nothing romantic going on with, I swear! I also have to change my settings so her friends don’t see them. I have, like, a list I can queue up for these situations. I know I should be able to be completely honest with her, but it just seems easier this way.”
"If this isn’t shady, I don’t know what is: Shortly after my girlfriend broke up with me, I saw a picture of her with another guy. That’s the kind of thing that will break a man and make him do drastic things. For me, that was to enlist a female friend my ex didn’t know and get her to enter a fake Facebook relationship with me. We went out and took a bunch of pictures that made it look like we were having fun together and might even have been a little bit in love. I posted a bunch of them in hopes it would make my ex feel at least a twinge of jealousy. We kept the charade up for a little more than a week, then, just because we were having fun with the whole thing, we changed our status to engaged two days before my birthday. When my ex finally reached out to me about it, I came clean about the whole thing, but it was still hilarious to see all the well-wishers come out of the woodwork when, on my birthday.”
“When I start casually seeing a girl, I’m quick to friend request her, but I have a set of very specific settings I’ve made for what this category of woman can and can’t see on my profile. They see only what I want them to, and none of what I don’t want them to see. [Okay, but what are the things they can't see?
] Anything I don’t want them to. I like to remain as mysterious as possible; I don’t post as much on social media as I really do. They don’t see many of the negative things I post on there or the random stuff I share with my friends on a day-to-day basis. I think I paint a better picture of myself if I seem like someone who doesn’t have the time of day for Facebook because it gives the impression that I’m busier than I really am, when in reality I post a lot of monotonous stuff. I use it as a way of portraying myself as more interesting than I am, via a lack of information, if that makes sense.”
“I travel a lot for work, and I sometimes meet women when I do. I’ve never cheated on my girlfriend, but she is wary of the people I meet, especially women. I tell her she has nothing to worry about, but that doesn’t do much to placate her. So if I’m out with a client or a few clients’ friends, I adjust my settings to make sure she doesn’t see them. I have nothing to hide from her, but I don’t want her to get unreasonably jealous. It’s better for me to have her think I’m in my hotel room working on spreadsheets, which is usually what I text her to say I’m doing. It’s probably only a matter of time until this backfires.”
Alright, spill it. What are the shadiest things you've done on Facebook?
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