0

Your Cart is Empty

9 Ways To Pretend To Be Good In Bed - LOLS

January 24, 2014 2 min read

Let’s be honest: it’s pretty difficult to be bad at sex. It is sex after all—our bodies were built to like it at the most basic level. But, if you’re concerned with being “good at sex” (whatever that means) here’s how to fake it. From what we’ve gathered from adult films and titles of men’s lifestyle articles, if you do these things, you’ll look kinky/adventurous/etc. So here’s a somewhat facetious guide on how to pretend to be good in bed. Seriously, don’t take this too seriously. Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 10.59.28 AM USE ICE We’re not exactly sure where, just use it. The main photo of any sexy article is usually a mouth with an ice cube in it so just bring the whole ice tray in the bedroom and figure it out. Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 11.01.10 AM TAKE OFF CLOTHES WITH YOUR TEETH Even if it takes super, super long to get undressed. Even if he is wearing a button up shirt with 28 buttons. Using your hands to take off your partner’s clothes is, like, for the elderly. Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 11.03.05 AM COVER THEM IN WHIPPED CREAM It doesn’t matter if dairy gives you indigestion. Suck it up (literally) because it’s not “good” sex unless someone’s turned into a human ice cream sundae. Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 11.04.41 AM GET INTO ACROBATICS If you don’t have a leg over your head, twisted around your torso, and sticking out the window, you’re just boring. Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 11.05.55 AM MAKE SURE HE’S ALWAYS BEHIND YOU Eye contact during sex is for nuns. Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 11.07.05 AM SWITCH POSITIONS AT LEAST 12 TIMES If anybody comes close to finishing, you’re doing something wrong. The goal isn’t orgasms, it’s endurance! (Er…um…yeah.) Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 11.08.35 AM SWITCH ROOMS AT LEAST 12 TIMES If you haven’t felt the cold kitchen tile (plus some breadcrumbs and olive oil spills left out) on your back during sex, you haven’t lived. Soft, bouncy, safe beds are for the weak! Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 11.09.56 AM BRING IN A THIRD PERSON And a fourth, and a fifth…two person sex is so cavemen. What are all those people doing in that bed you ask? It doesn’t matter. They could be reading bedtime stories, so long as they’re all there, you’re being adventurous. Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 11.11.17 AM ALWAYS USE A VIBRATOR Your own parts just won’t do anymore. Make sure there is always a vibrator or toy involved. Even if it’s just vibrating across the floor, confusing your dog. Which one of these silly suggestions was your favourite? Let us know in the comments below! H/T: http://madamenoire.com Do you follow us on Instagram? [caption id="attachment_98752" align="alignnone" width="100"]snapchat snapcode @BodyRockTV[/caption]  

Leave a comment


Also in BodyRock Store Blog

Image of Bodyrock blog article - What Happens To Your Butt When You Sit All Day?
What Happens To Your Butt When You Sit All Day?

July 14, 2019 3 min read 120 Comments

Do you think your booty looks a little flat? This might be why!
Read More
Image of Bodyrock blog article - 12 Ways To Make Your Belly Flatter By The End Of The Day
12 Ways To Make Your Belly Flatter By The End Of The Day

July 08, 2017 4 min read 5 Comments

Read More
Image of Bodyrock blog article - 7 Ways To Stop Binge Eating In It's Tracks
7 Ways To Stop Binge Eating In It's Tracks

June 22, 2017 2 min read

Do you ever find yourself knuckle-deep in a bag of Cheetos?
Read More
Shipping & Delivery

Due to COVID-19, shipping systems the world over are experiencing abnormal delays. There is an enormous demand on postal and delivery services as online shopping has skyrocketed, due to store closures and stay-at-home mandates. This is an unprecedented situation, and we are working around the clock to fulfill your orders as quickly as possible. To be clear, we are filling orders in 4-6 days, and we are shipping immediately after that. Once shipped, our shipping partner, UPS, will get your order out to you as quickly as possible. Thanks for your support and understanding.

Are you in Canada? Specifically, are you outside of a metropolitan centre? We need to alert you to a disruption in shipping due to COVID-19. Our preferred shipping provider, UPS, has informed us that they cannot guarantee express shipping for many locations. We have also seen that packages delivered to Toronto, Ottawa, Vancouver, etc, are not waylaid, but packages delivered to areas just outside of these cities are being held in transit for days or even weeks. UPS has discontinued their guarantee of 1-4 day delivery, which you can read more about here. Therefore, we can guarantee early fulfillment but not early delivery of our goods from our warehouse to your door at this time.

 

We want you to start your fitness journey with us as quickly as possible, that’s why we send every package to the USA & Canada via expedited or standard shipping with our partners at UPS. Once your order is received and processed, it typically takes 2-4 days to get to you once it leaves our warehouse. That’s our commitment and we stand by it.

We ship within Canada and the United States via UPS with Standard & Expedited shipping (whichever is faster)

For locations outside of the US and Canada, we ship using FedEx International (EUROPE and Other Nations), which is usually in transit for 7-10 business days, depending on location.

We ship all of our physical products with UPS, from our warehouse location in Kingston, Ontario, Canada. Delays caused due to custom withholds are not included in these estimated delivery times.

Returns & Exchanges

BodyRock Equipment

We offer a 30-day return policy, as long as: it is not more than 30 days past the date of delivery; and your item is in its original condition and packaging with the original order number. Refunds will be issued when the equipment is received back to the BodyRock warehouse, minus the original cost of shipping, and the customer is responsible for the costs of return shipping. To request a refund on physical product purchases, please contact us.

Digital Products

We cannot issue refunds on digital goods such as e-books or videos, as these are non-tangible goods that are irrevocable once the order is placed.

Clothing

All of the BodyRock clothing is made to order and so is final sale. If you have any questions about sizing prior to placing your order, please contact us.