I wanted to write a post today about control. The past week I have witnessed more and more people writing into me about. I have had several messages over the past few weeks explaining to me that they are in controlling manipulating relationships. The fact that you guys are sharing something so personal makes me feel that I am trusted.
Manipulation and control is just a sense of some form of insecurity on your partners part. Don't put up with it! Usually if you are in a controlling relationship especially in the first few months or the "honeymoon" phase it will be hard to detect "red flags" because you are in lala land with this person.
Sometimes it takes weeks even months to detect these red flags. Before you know it they will be telling you what to wear, what to eat, when you can and cannot spend time with your friends, how you can or can't act in public. It's merely for there satisfaction and in the end the only loser will be you. Your self-esteem will soon be shattered and more often then not you will find yourself talking to your doctor trying to unwind all your emotions.
You may start to fight even over small things that escalate into bigger issues. You may break up get back together think you maybe able to work things out to seek common ground or even seek counseling. Any promises that was made in counsilling will rarely carry over into the everyday relationship. Even if it's not physical abuse it's still abuse to your feelings. It will never, ever work with someone like this. A controlling person will never be able to trust you even if you walk on water.