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Awkward Things Patients Actually Say To Doctors

June 19, 2015 2 min read

Dr. Mark Folman, who runs Resilient GP, conducted a survey to unearth some of the more ridiculous things people are saying/asking their GPs. When asked by Buzzfeed why he conducted the study, he replied via email that "general practice is getting busier and busier, and we are finding it harder to spend time with patients who genuinely need us... we are seeing more inappropriate requests for GP help. We did a survey of a large number of GPs on a Facebook site, and anonymised the responses for the article. We are not looking to belittle patients, however, in a similar way to the ambulance service, we are highlighting how GP appointments are used inappropriately." Here are 15 of the actual, real things patients have said to their doctors: 1. “Is my nipple too hairy?” 2. “I went to the gym yesterday and now my arms are hurting.” 3. “My son’s shoes are rubbing him.” 4. “My skin is too soft.” 5. “I’m worried about a white lump in my baby’s gum.” It was a tooth. 6. “When I drink certain types of beer I vomit and have a headache the next morning.” 7. “Please, can you remove this pubic hair from between my teeth?” 8. “My wife isn’t interested in having sex with me. Please can I send her to you so you can give her something for that?” 9. "A bird pooped on me." 10.  “Can I have a sick note for six months because I am nearly at retirement age?” 11. “I’m allergic to avocados — if I eat eight I’m sick.” 12. “My cat scratches my furniture and it upsets me because I love him.” 13. “I need some advice as I want to break up with my boyfriend and I don’t know what to say.” 14. “I have had a sore throat since this morning.” 15. “Doctor, please can you write to my daughter’s school to say I’m finding the school run tiring and can they arrange transport to and from my house?” PRICELESS! I like #2. Which is your favourite?

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