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What We Can Learn From Topless Miley Cyrus

December 17, 2013 5 min read

Recently Miley Cyrus shared with Barbara Walters that fear kept her with ex-fiance, Liam Hemsworth:
I was so scared of ever being alone, and I think, conquering that fear, this year was actually bigger than any other transition that I had this entire year." (source: ABC News, Lauren Effron)
Fear. Surrendering to fear keeps you in a seemingly inescapable bind. Fear is the biggest obstacle to progress. It's a reason why people stay in abusive relationships. It's why people stay in dead-end jobs. It's why they stay at home instead of trying something new or meeting new people. It's why people don't want to pursue a healthy lifestyle. Miley Cyrus may not be the, er, best role model, but conquering fear and moving past a situation that is not ideal is something to applaud. Fear is strong, suffocating … but sometimes it's so subtle, you don't even know you're scared. See, the desire to love and be loved is huge in not only our culture, but humanity. Sometimes "we accept the love we think we deserve," to take a quote from Perks of Being a Wallflower. I was one of those people. In a past relationship, I was with someone very argumentative and very capable of arguing his point. This made him an apt manipulator. I had a low self-esteem. Perfect combination, right? I thought I was stupid so whenever he argued with me, I assumed he was right. This all came to a head one day. I wasn't consistent with my fitness in college, but my roommates encouraged me to run with them. I thought I'd try it out. This ex never made time for me, but one week he told me, "OK, I'm going to do all my homework in advance and make sure I have nothing to do that night." I figured we'd meet around 6:00 p.m. for dinner on the designated day (we hadn't agreed upon a previously established time), so I went for a quick run at 5:30 with my roommates. When I returned, I text messaged him. "I'm back from my run," I said. "Come over whenever." He called me. He blew up. "I made TIME for you, and you decided to waste it by going running with your friends." "It took about 30 minutes -- what's it matter?" I said. "I figured we wouldn't meet up too much earlier." "I thought you had something IMPORTANT to do!" he growled (as if working out isn't important! Especially when I was working to make it part of my routine and it only made a 30-minute difference in the time we could have possibly hung out). "I thought it was homework, or you were practicing. But working out?" Rage. Rage. Rage. He was horribly angry that I ran. Let's just say this person didn't make fitness a priority. Whether it was jealousy, the fact he felt threatened by the prospect of me making time for myself or getting healthy and fit, or the fact he just thrived on arguing and controlling me, I don't know. Regardless, he told me he didn't want to see me at all. I argued it'd be a waste of time to not hang out after he made an evening free. He didn't care. It blew up into a fight so bad that all I wanted to do was apologize for taking a quick run so all the chaos would cease. And you know what? I did. And he still refused to see me. Besides the many things messed up with the situation, the fact was that I wasn't happy. I was fearful -- fearful of his reaction. Fearful of what would happen if I didn't grovel. Fearful to work out again when it made my ex so angry that I did. Most of all, I was fearful to be alone … even if I loathed him. I don't know what happened with Miley and Liam, and frankly, I don't really care. The part I applaud is the fact they broke it off, the fact that she is comfortable with her single-dom, and the fact that she says she, "believes she can now 'actually be happy' on her own." It may seem small to enjoy being alone but it is empowering. Breaking up is difficult, but having the ability to break up with fear and take control of your life? That's no small victory. Honestly, fear makes possibilities explode and appear to be worse than they'll actually result in reality. When you expect the worst, what actually happens is almost guaranteed to be a little better than you anticipate. Weigh the pros and cons. So, you're stuck with someone you're not happy with. Yes, you know what to expect if you stay with that person. But if you break up, you have the chance to make life anything you want it to be. You actually have the distinct possibility of becoming ridiculously happy and treated like a queen or even -- gasp -- a human being in your next relationship! Another important point: surround yourself with people who support your healthy hobbies and lifestyle. If your significant other is against them, then something bad is going on, and you need to hash out a serious talk. What is going on with them that they can't applaud you for taking steps in the right direction? Now, I don't pretend to know the psychology of an intensely, seriously abusive or physically abusive relationship. I don't wish to oversimplify all the complicated emotions that accompany that. But if you can muster up the courage, then maybe you'll find once you rip off the bandaid that, damn, it's good to be free! Miley Cyrus may not be our favorite, but we can't deny - since she's been single, she has been nominated as one of Time's Most Influential Person of the Year … not bad.     And then she goes and does something like this.... 151213_miley1s She tweeted her....festive card with the caption:
"Merry Christmas THANK YOU NY [New York] for being one of the few states to @freethenipple."  
Though this may look like another attention grab  (and it is), but it's also in support of the "Free the Nipple" campaign. She added in another tweet:
"It's not about getting your t**ties out. It's about equality."
The campaign started in conjunction with a documentary of the same name, which challenges censorship laws in the US. Miley has talked about the campaign in the past, saying: "America is just so weird in what they think is right and wrong. Like, I was watching 'Breaking Bad' the other day, and they were cooking meth. I could literally cook meth because of that show. It's a how-to," she told Rolling Stone in September. "And then they bleeped out the word 'f**k.' And I'm like, really? They killed a guy, and disintegrated his body in acid, but you're not allowed to say 'f**k'? It's like when they bleeped 'molly' at the VMAs. Look what I'm doing up here right now, and you're going to bleep out 'molly'? Whatever."     She does have a point....

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