Why You Can't Orgasm. One Woman Shares Her Story

An "inability" to orgasm is something experienced by many women. Unfortunately. One woman, we'll call her Anna, has shared her story and it may just be what can help you too. Anna didn't have her first orgasm until she was 42. And, as she says, it wasn't for lack of trying. She lost her virginity at 19 (he was a virgin too) and it left her wondering what all the fuss was about. She was disappointed when things didn't improve in her 20s and 30s. Anna had "fooled around" with a few more guys, slept with a second man. She came away from her second experience of intercourse thinking "I'm not doing this again; I'm saving myself for my husband." And she stuck to that. She and her husband didn't have sex until they were married. She was 36. Having undergone premarital counselling, Anna set a guideline for sex 3 times a week even though she didn't expect to orgasm. She knew, from dating and fooling around, that she liked the intimacy with her husband but it was never enough to make her orgasm. She explains, "I'd read all these romance novels, and everyone was talking about how great sex is. But for me, it was just another chore on a chart of a million things to do every day. I thought, "There must be something more to this." She knew there had to be an answer. Her first step was to talk to her gynecologist:

he suggested masturbating. I thought, "Are you kidding me?" Around the same time, I saw an ad in a business journal for The Medical Center for Female Sexuality that said, "Can't have an orgasm? Don't know what an orgasm is? Sexually unsatisfied?" It really spoke to me. So I started seeing a doctor at the Center in January of 2011, right after I had finished nursing my second child (I was 41 at the time). The doctor did a lot of bloodwork on me and said I had very low testosterone levels—a significantly low level, in fact—and that I'd need more to get my body more interested in sex.

She started hormone treatments and was told to watch porn. With the medical concerns attended to and a little visual aide, Anna stuck to the treatment for a year but still no orgasm. Anna says they decided on a slight strategy shift:

I bought a couple of vibrators and start practicing with them. Beginning that second year of treatment, we also changed the approach, and I was injected with time-release capsules that had a much stronger dosage of testosterone. My husband and I spent about 45 minutes fooling around and having sex. It was one of our longest sessions ever. All I remember is, 'Now I know what I've been missing!' It was more powerful than I'd expected; it felt like an electric current was going through my body—extremely pleasurable. It was a huge release.

Eventually, the effects of the testosterone became too much, with increased facial hair and constant thinking about sex. They decided to stop the hormone treatments because now, Anna was having regular orgasms while using a plug in vibrator (it is stronger than the battery operated variety). If you are a woman who, no matter what you try, cannot orgasm, Anna says this is a route worth checking out. Consult your doctor, have your hormone levels tested and go from there. It may just be the answer for you. No one should be missing out on orgasms.