Guys often feel like it is their responsibility to make the first move. It isn't a hard and fast rule, but it is certainly a message that is passed down by society. Men make the first move, women wait for it.
But why? Should our gender really restrict our movements when it comes to romance?
Have you ever found yourself in a crowded bar when you notice a guy you'd love to speak to but all of your prior 'learning' says you shouldn't? Well, I'm here to tell you that if you find him cute, walk on over there. Here are a few reasons why
we should throw these particular gender 'rules' out the window:
Maybe he's shy, too.
It is a lot of pressure to be the one who is always responsible for getting the ball rolling. If he doesn't make an attempt to approach you, it doesn't necessarily mean he's not interested in you. Maybe he's just a little shy, maybe he's afraid you will reject him. If you are just sitting there hoping that he will come talk to you, stop. Flip that action, approach him.
He won't spend half the conversation worried he is bothering you.
When a guy approaches, we often play it cool. You may be totally into him only to be disappointed when he doesn't make another move and pulls the plug on the whole conversation. He can't read your mind. His read may be that you are not interested and he will go away just so he isn't being a bother. I know your approaching him puts this confusing situation in your lap but they've been navigating it for years, it is your turn. And men are not conditioned to respond to this the way we are. Where we are supposed to respond with cool indifference -- no one wants to look desperate, they aren't subject to the same 'rules.' I'm willing to bet you will know right away whether he's interested and the guesswork will be removed.
Girls who know what they want are attractive.
With maturity, you are better able to determine which qualities you are looking for in another person and make strides to go after it. It is sexy to have the maturity and confidence to pursue your own desires. If you can be proactive about your wants and needs in a relationship, it is far more likely to find something sustainable.
You don't settle.
People are so afraid of being single that they take the first person to walk into their life and show them a little interest. Not really a good thing if success is what you are looking for. Settling comes from insecurity. If you know your self worth, you will make sure to get something you deserve. You may have to put in more effort than you would if you were just sitting back and waiting for someone to pick you, but it is more than worth it.
It's intimidating and that is sexy.
In my experience, men are taken aback when I approach and I don't mean this in a bad way. Being approached by someone in a bar can be intimidating, a proactive woman is a strong woman but she is also sexy. Approaching a man lets him know that you noticed him. Of all the men in the room, he's the one you chose. Think of how flattering it can feel sometimes when a cute guy approaches you. Time to bring him that bliss.
Your intentions are clear.
Flirting is a game. It is a way of showing interest without showing your hand. Unfortunately, it can lead to misreading cues and signals. You may be playing hard to get but he thinks you aren't interested and then, well, game over.
If you approach him, it takes away some of the uncertainty. Your interest is more than clear.
It shows you are confident.
Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities out there. You may be quaking on the inside but when you walk up to him, he simply reads your confidence. It reveals your comfort with who you are and how you look because you are not hiding yourself away. Confidence is the basis of intrigue. You show him you're confident, believe me, he'll want to find out what is behind it.
He knows you might be interested in something more than friendship.
Approaching him may ensure you guys don't end up on different pages. If you make that first move, it is less likely that one of you will slip into friendship mode while the other is interested in romance.
You defy convention.
Male or female, we are sexual beings. We have needs and wants and we require interaction to bring them to fruition. There shouldn't be these norms holding us back. If you approach him, you are blowing it all wide open and going after what you want and making your desire to be just as important as his.
You aren't the type of gal to wait for things to come to you.
Seeing something you want and going after it is a testament to your ambition. It shows you aren't complacent in life. You aren't afraid to build the life you want.
Gender shouldn't play a role in pursing your desires. If you see something you want, go after it. No regrets. Social norms, be damned.
What do you think? Ladies are you comfortable approaching a man you find attractive? Fellas, do you think it is sexy when a woman approaches you?