May 26, 2015
An Expert's Break-Up Survival: How to Get Over Being Dumped
Whether you have ever broken up with someone, or had to be the dumpee, or you've played both roles in the game of love, breaking up sucks. It really sucks no matter what angle you're coming from. If you have been dumped, you know the inevitable stages. Perhaps he dumped you at dinner, or after a wildly fun weekend, or over Facebook messenger because he was too big of a chicken to do it himself. First, you feel shock and rage. You're livid. Then you settle into thinking, "I'm hot and single now! Up at me world!" But then you go out for a night with your girls and see the dating pool swimming with icky, awkward and sweaty weirdos. You find yourself locked in the comfort of your apartment eating ice cream and watching Channing Tatum movies. I've painted a beautiful picture, haven't I? Well if you've checked into the Heart Break Hotel, here are some helpful tips to mentally and emotionally surviving: 1) Disconnect That means unfollow, delete his number, get every shred of him out of your life. With these things gone, you won't be tempted to creep, and you certainly won't be tempted to message. Remove his friends too. You don't want to see one of them post an Instagram picture of him out partying with two hot girls while you're feeling low. The less you see of him now, the less likely you will look for him later. Even after a lot of time has passed, and you may just think "Oh, maybe I'll see what *break up douche* is up to..." But if he's not on your mind now, he won't come across it later. 2) Alone Time Be with your supportive friends and family, but make time to be alone with your thoughts as well. Always being distracted will hinder your capability to move on and deal with your emotions. The pain must be felt, in order to release it. 3) Don't "Hook-Up" With Your Ex. Ever. It's not casual, it's not meaningless. There will be no simple, no strings attached platonic sexual relationship. If you have loved him, hooking up with him is torture to yourself. It's inflicting the pain all over again, even if years have passed. 4) Rebounds Will Always Be Rebounds If your still hurting, then you're not ready to be in another serious relationship. A rebound guy is equivalent to stress eating ice cream, you're replacing the sadness with a good, entertaining and distracting feeling. But it's all just empty calories... You're not being honest with yourself and confronting your hurt. Once you are healed, you can move on to a healthy new relationship. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to find someone right away, focus on you and reconnect with yourself. Do you have some break-up horror stories to share? What are your personal tips to surviving a break-up? Share them with us!