I recently read an article
where burlesque superstar Dita Von Teese reveals her secrets to feeling sexy every day. Initially I didn't think much of it. Not because I have anything against her or her profession (I actually adore her), but I kind of thought
"Well yeah if people paid to see me look awesome in super-sexy lingerie all the time...I'd probably feel pretty good"
And though the article did talk about having show-stoping underwear a bit...it touched on deeper topics I wasn't really expecting. It was about self image and confidence
. And I fully agree. So here is my amended version of her list (which you can read here
Find your one-stop beauty booster—like red lipstick.
This was #1 on her list and it's staying that way on mine. She made an interesting point "I don’t leave the house without a swipe of red lipstick, but I don’t spend a lot of time getting ready either. I can get out the door in five minutes, and that red lipstick gives me the power to look polished."
To her, no matter what she's wearing or where she's going, that red lipstick "gives her power" - and I'm sure this is the same for many women. They may not realize it.
Your beauty booster may not be red lipstick, but there's that one thing that ALWAYS makes you feel confident and sexy when you walk out the door.
For me, it's black-on-black-on-black. It's not that I'm unimaginative (or gothic), I just LOVE the way a fully-black outfit looks. It's sleek and simple - yet very commanding.
Pick a sexy uniform
So when I first saw this on her list, I thought it was going to be some sexy-school girl ploy. But it's actually more about knowing what style makes you FEEL the best. You should absolutely play around with different styles, patterns, colours and fabrics - but take some time to realize what style makes you feel best.
If you go into an important meeting and you're trying something out for the first time that you're not 100% sure of- say a brightly coloured blouse when you're used to wearing neutrals - you're going to feel uncomfortable. And that's going to show. Knowing what you feel comfortable and confident in isn't boring or safe, it's knowing yourself! If you know that you love the look of heels, but always get worried about falling over or tripping. F*ck it, wear flats to the meeting. So what if you're shorter - you'll speak with confidence and you'll speak like YOURSELF because you FEEL like yourself. Save those new heels for date night!
Dita's description of her uniform made me realize that my uniform and yours is probably reflective of your personality
“I have a distinctive aesthetic of what I think is sexy, and I have kind of a uniform. It’s usually something that shows a little bit of cleavage and possibly has long sleeves. I like to wear long, black, leather upper glove and black long-seamed stocking. I like to have my hemline just below the knee, and I like a perfect Louboutin pump.”
Obviously this is a bit exaggerated of a circumstance, but her choice of words makes it clear. She knows what SHE finds sexy and appealing and she feels best when she embodies that. She notes it's subjective and even though her definition if sexy IS a bit sexual - it doesn't have to be.
Shower in the Morning
This seems obvious, but some people prefer to shower at night. Or if you're like me and work from home, you question why you should shower at all. But if you force yourself to shower in the morning, it means you force yourself to get out of bed a bit earlier. And if you don't work in an environment where sopping wet hair is acceptable, it forces you to be a bit more creative than a 3-day old sock bun. And there is NO judgement here - I have FULLY rocked a multi-day sock bun. I work from home on my computer. There is a good chance I won't have human interaction for the entire DAY. So when I first started, I definitely got lax with my showering. I stopped caring what I looked like during the day because nobody was going to see me. But then I found myself making excuses not to go out later. If it was already 6pm and I was still in my pyjamas, why change the trend? Just keep going on with the day in the same manner.If you forgo the night shower and wake up in the morning a bit...musty...you'll force yourself to clean off and, at the very least, put on new socks.
Workout in the Morning
Same principle as above (but probably do this first). Start your day off with your workout. Even if it's 5 or 10 minutes - just get SOMETHING in. You'll wake up faster and start your day off feeling good about your body.
Put on Cute Underwear
There's some sort of old saying here about always wearing nice underwear in case you get hit by a bus and have to go to the hospital...? Which I never understood because I'm pretty sure if I was still alive after the bus hit, my first reaction would probably be to sh*t my pants. And if I was dead? I'd definitely have sh*t my pants. So the cute little polkadots probably wouldn't make a huge difference.
BUT asides from potential run-ins with large automobiles, wearing cute underwear always makes it feel like you've got a special secret. Even if there's NO chance of someone seeing them that day. Even if your CAT is spending the night at the vets and literally no other living creature will know (unless you call and tell people. Don't) - put them on! And for the days where you can't for...timing reasons...just invest in A LOT of black ones :)
Wear Something Someone Else Likes
So this is definitely situational and seems a bit like fishing for compliments, but I swear it's not. Wearing your significant other's favourite shirt of yours means you KNOW you'll get a reaction. It doesn't have to be a sexual one or even a verbal one - but a hint of a smile can make a huge difference. And it doesn't have to be that dynamic. If you have a dress or sweater you know your mom loves (especially if she bought it for you), wear it out to lunch with her. You know that feeling you get when you see people using gifts you've given them or implementing a suggestion you made? Same idea.
But above all, and maybe hardest
It doesn't matter what you wear, where you go or what you do - if you do it with conviction and confidence you will feel 100 times better about yourself. Be confident in who you truly are. We post so many physical transformations on BodyRock, but it's integral to remember that if you want to make an all over change, that includes a mental one. Seeing yourself differently isn't as easy as shedding the pounds - you need to shed the mental weight too.