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Fitness in the Tabloids: Bikini-Ready Baby Prince

May 01, 2014 2 min read

All the best celebrity gossip from all the worst news sources. Here’s what the tabloids have to offer this week in fitness-centric stories. FitnesstabloidUsPrinceGeorge Baby Prince George, who managed to make it to two separate tabloid covers, is on a special organic diet – but is his body bikini ready? Kate bought a juicer to make his snacks, OMG what’s next for the royal family? What could possibly beat that juicy tidbit of information?   fitnesstabloid3kaley In Life&Style’s Knifestyle’s of the Rich and Famous section, men were polled about if they prefer Kaley Cuoco Sweeting before or after he boob job. Shockingly, a wide majority liked her boobs bigger – who would’ve thought? Their next poll will be if men prefer shoulder massages or being kicked in the pants more.   fitnesstabloid Tori drugs The Star reports on Tori’s drug nightmare! She’s apparently an awful mother who abuses Vicodin and Oxycodone, and at 98lbs is obsessed with her sexy rib cage look. Well, I guess they had to add an addiction or health twist to the whole Dean cheating on Tori news sometime.   fitnesstabloid Kim hollywood Not really health or fitness related, but body image? Beauty standards throughout the ages? Whatever, it’s kind of relevant. Kim Kardashian has imitated the look of a lot of classic Hollywood stars, Us magazine readers voted on whether they preferred Kim’s take or the original. My faith in humanity remains surprisingly uncrushed, as people voted in the majority of old Hollywood stars for every single look.   fitnesstabloid truth miley No cover for Miley Cyrus this week, but there are a slew of Miley health stories, enough for all of the tabloids to have a piece. In Touch reports that she’s lying about why she’s in the hospital, and that it’s a heart complication. Star magazine’s story is that she’s detoxing from all the drugs. These theories are based off of medical professionals who have never treated Miley, so both magazines have pretty solid evidence, as in none. For more general tabloid mocking, check out the Jezebel’s midweek madness.

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