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Ghosting: The Ultimate Silent Treatment Or A Refuge For Relationship Cowards?

July 01, 2015 3 min read

I hear 'ghost,' and I automatically think of hauntings and beings from the afterlife. When it comes to relationships, it means something else. Ghosting is the act of ending a relationship by cutting of all contact and ignoring other person's attempt to reach out. It seems Sean Penn has just been introduced to this scenario. It has been reported that although, they were once happy (and full of PDAs), Charlize Theron has stopped responding to Penn's texts and calls. She's ghosting him. This isn't just a Hollywood thing. An informal survey from Elle Magazine that polled 185 people found that 16.7 percent of men and 24.2 percent of women have been ghosts in past relationships. Being ghosted can hurt. I mean, how fair is to have someone just disappear? If there is something that you are doing to make people run away, shouldn't you know about it so you can avoid it in the future? It hardly seems like the fair way to end a relationship but, life isn't always fair. I had a fling end in this matter and to be honest, it still bothers me. Not because I was heart broken or because I've taken it personally, but because I'm just curious. It is the not knowing that bothers me now. Did he have a girlfriend? Did he just lose interest? Did he lose his phone and my number with it? None of it matters, but I'd prefer a tidy package, no matter the wrapping! And what kind of terrible person would ghost someone? My guess? Most of us have done it one way or another. I know I've started to chat with fellas online and as soon as it came time to actually meet, I just sort of faded away. Why? I can't really say. But I know it had nothing to do with him. The New York Times reached out to some ghosters and found that most were apologetic and cite their own insecurities and fears as the reason for their behaviour. Sometimes -- most of the time, really -- it is easier to avoid something than to sit down and have a difficult conversation face to face. If you avoid it, you don't have to deal with any consequences, especially the consequence of hurting someone's feelings. And maybe social media complicates it all. Anna Sale, 34, the host and managing editor of the WNYC podcast “Death, Sex & Money,” believes it does. "As people have gotten less and less comfortable talking face to face about hard things, it’s become easier to move on, let time pass and forget to tell the person you’re breaking up with them,” she said. Social media has played a role in our abilities to connect in real life, person to person, face to face. Perhaps this is just another sign of the disruption. It might be the easier way to end a relationship but is it the best way? If you are in a relationship that has lasted more than 3 dates, you should at least end things with a conversation. It is respectful. Is ghosting the greatest, cleanest way to end a relationship or is it a way of running away from the problem? Or, is it one more sign that the digital age is breaking our social skills? What do you think? Source: New York Post

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