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What Got Stuck in Our Rectums This Year

January 02, 2014 2 min read

So through the years, Sun Sentinel  has created a database of Emergency Room visits around the country.  And over the years, Deadspin has written articles scrolling through the data for the best examples of those E-Room visits. Here's their list of what was stuck in various orifices from 'top to bottom' literally.  Let's just go out on a branch and say stop putting things in your body that don't belong there. Ear: (some of these are probably children) KEY BUTTON HOT WAX PLASTIC DART PIECE OF PAPER "TOOTHPICK AND THEN HAIRPIN" WOOD SCREWDRIVER PLASTIC DRINKING STRAW ERASER FLY RUBBER BAND KNIFE Nose: (the kids are at it again) DIXIE CUP HAIR BARRETT "TWO KITCHEN MAGNETS IN EACH NOSTRIL" COLORING PENCIL NICKEL WAD OF TOILET TISSUE MARDI GRAS BEAD SMALL TOY PIECE OF PLASTIC HANGER PICK-UP STICK "BB PELLETS WHILE TRYING A MAGIC TRICK" SCREW STICKER CRUCIFIX BATTERY TOY DIAMOND "A PENNY OR POPCORN IN NOSE, SEEMS BOTHERED" Throat: LEMON SEED MAXI PAD CHECKER THIMBLE THUMBTACK BUTTERFLY PLASTIC TOY GUN STAPLE KEYCHAIN RING NAIL MODEL TOY AIRPLANE Penis: SPOON PLASTIC ZIP TIE FORKS ORNAMENT "PIECE OF TIMBER" PEN SODA CAN POP TOP Vagina: BEDPOST "WAS DARED TO PUT A COSMETICS BOTTLE IN VAGINA" TOY MICROPHONE STAND SPOON "COCK RING THAT BECAME DISLODGED" METAL BAR 2 SPONGES PIECE OF BASKETBALL SHORTS SEWING NEEDLES "PATIENT STATES SHE SLIPPED & FELL ONTO A TOY TRUCK WHILE CLEANING" HAIRSPRAY CAP TUB STOPPER "12YOF GOING THROUGH MOM'S DRAWER, FOUND PENIS SHAPED 'PLEASURE ITEM,' EXPERIMENTING PUTTING IN HER VAGINA, COULDN'T GET OUT" Rectum: FRENCH BREAD HAND WRENCH CIGARETTE LIGHTER CRAYON "STUCK TOY IN RECTUM AND BROKE OFF, SAW MOM INSERT TAMPON AND MIMICKED" VIAL OF BATH SALTS ARTIFICIAL CHRISTMAS TREE BRANCH DRUM STICK VINEGAR BOTTLE LOTION BOTTLE MOUTHWASH BOTTLE SHAMPOO BOTTLE BABY BOTTLE "LOOFA W/SUCTION CUP W/HOOK ATTACHED"

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