How To Talk Your Way Into The Relationship Of Your Dreams

Today's dating practices seem to consist heavily of texting, sexting and 'hanging out.' Gone are the days of being taken out for dinner or to a show. It is all so casual and distant. For the majority of women, this just isn't enough. Although it is easy to lay the blame solely at the feet of the modern man, it isn't that simple. Men are not meeting the needs of women because women have failed to articulate those needs. Needing someone is not a character weakness. Depending on someone is not being 'needy.' There is an unhealthy myth in circulation that says if you are to be desirable, you have to be the 'cool girl.' The one who is never hurt, the one who is up for whatever and never requires anything in return. But the fact is, functional and healthy relationships rely on interdependence. You will take turns caring for each other and there is nothing wrong with that. At the very least, we all deserve to be treated with care and respect. But getting there can be a delicate practice. Here are two methods that can help you have your needs met while achieving that relationship you've always wanted.

Establish the System Early

Express your needs right away. If you are cruising Tinder, for example, and you get a match, there is nothing wrong with saying in your VERY FIRST TEXT, that although you are aware that the app is generally used for hook ups, you are looking for something more long term and substantial.  When you lay your needs out clearly like that, you are giving the men in your life the option to disappear or buy in. If this Tinder match isn't interested in meeting those needs, he's free to go. If he decides to take a chance, he knows right away that you are a women who is not afraid to ask for what she wants and needs. If you play the coy, shy girl, you are only leaving yourself open to miscommunication and heartbreak. He can't know what you want if you don't tell him. If you set communication and honesty as a cornerstone from the word go, you'll be ahead of the game. Be clear (and kind) with your needs. You have nothing to lose here and everything to gain.

Make Him A "Communication Sandwich"

There are lots of delicate topics that come up in relationships and they can be difficult to discuss. But don't let fear of dismissal or rejection stop you. Using a 'communication sandwich,' can not only help you in your romantic relationships but in any situation where you need to express yourself. Timing is everything. Pick a quiet moment when s/he isn't doing something else and has had a good day. Start by offering a compliment. Then, carefully and kindly express your need. Follow that expression with another compliment. People are far more open to hearing a criticism or something they are failing to do if you acknowledge the good things they DO do. If what you are saying sounds like an attack, you can pretty much guarantee that it will be met with a solid defense. For example, if you want to get out more and do things instead of spending countless nights in sweats watching Netflix, don't jump right into the meat of your argument. Don't start with "we never go out anymore and if you aren't careful, you'll lose me for good." Instead, try, "I'm not sure I've told you lately but I really love spending time with you. It feels wonderful but I think I might need a bit more of a social life. Do you think we can find ways to move date night out of the house and see our friends now and then? It could be fun and you know how much I love to show you off." See the difference? Being able to express your needs in intimate relationships is an incredible skill to have. Think about how you would feel if someone attacked you with their needs. Being kind and empathetic will get you much more traction. This is not a manipulation tool but a tool for more effective communication! Remember, being in the early stages of a relationship can be incredibly unnerving. It can be hard to tell where you are headed or what exactly the relationship 'is.' But, if you are having sex with someone, by definition, you are in a relationship. It is never too early to have a conversation if you are looking for relationship clarification. Your partner cannot read your mind. You are not being needy or clingy. You don't have to start the conversation with "so, when's the wedding?" but mentioning that you are both into each other and you'd prefer to be sexually exclusive while you sort out the rest of the relationship details is well within your rights and your abilities. If he says no to being exclusive, if exclusivity is your need, than you know that he is unable to meet it. And no matter how attracted you might be to him, no matter how charming or sweet he is, he will not be able to meet that need. Trust us when we say, if he cannot meet or accept your need in any given moment, he isn't likely worth your time. Are you able to communicate your needs in your relationship? What are your tips? Source: Elle Do you follow us on Instagram? [caption id="attachment_98752" align="alignnone" width="100"]snapchat snapcode @BodyRockTV[/caption]

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