If He Can't Get It Up, Here's How to Be Mindful of Your Response

Problems in the bedroom are never fun, or sexy, but they happen, especially when it comes to erectile dysfunction. What to do if your partner can't get it up. Having a partner who has trouble either getting it up or keeping it up is not uncommon, and should not be something you are ashamed to admit. In fact, one in four men willing to seek help for it are under 40 years of age. According to New York City sex therapist Stephen Snyder, M.D., the biggest reasons men experience erectile dysfunction are shame, anger and anxiety. “Sometimes a man’s penis knows more than he does about how he’s feeling. Any negative emotion at all can sink an erection,” Snyder says. “Loss of an erection is usually just his penis saying no in the only language it knows.”
As for the significant other, Dr. Snyder says it is imperative that you are mindful of the healthy ways to address the situation. If this is just a temporary situation, tell him it's OK to not move forward with sex. “Tell him it’s really OK if the two of you don’t have intercourse tonight. Maybe he's not ready yet." Snyder says sometimes just taking that pressure off can change the way his body reacts. “If that happens, tell him you’re happy he’s feeling better.” Don't push it. “Don’t try to force a ‘no’ to a ‘yes’ with your hand or mouth. Most likely he’d just experience this as pressure—which is the exact opposite of what you want to convey,” Dr. Snyder explains. If this is a recurring situation, don't make him feel bad. “One of the most frequent emotional causes of ED can be that he’s feeling horrible about having ED,” notes Dr. Snyder. If you make him feel guilty about this problem, it can create further pressure for him to perform, and that embarrassment will only lead to the issue continuing. Be open to the idea that this might be a medical issue. “Not all erection problems are purely psychological. For a variety of physical reasons, many men have vulnerable erections,” says Dr. Snyder. It could be a mental health issue such as anxiety or depression, diabetes, cardiovascular issues, or even cigarette smoking or the use of drugs. Don't rule out psychological treatment. If it is, in fact, an emotional problem, don't be afraid to see a therapist to work through it. Try a prescription drug if necessary. “Medications such as Viagra or Cialis can sometimes be life-savers,” explains Dr. Snyder. “Often, these medications can help break the vicious cycle between ED and the negative emotions that ED produces.” Have you been in a relationship with someone who is experiencing erectile dysfunction? How did you handle it? Source: Glamour Do you follow us on Instagram? [caption id="attachment_115065" align="alignnone" width="100"]snapchat code @BodyRockTV[/caption]

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