"Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to." - One of my favorite quotes on those Lululemon retail bags!
Jealousy is in my opinion one of the ugliest of personality traits. I'm not talking about the kind your life partner dishes out when you talk to the opposite sex; I'm talking about interpersonal relationships with friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. I'm willing to say each of us women have had that moment in sharing some news, an accomplishment, or some type of achievement with a friend - only to be rebuttled with negative backlash. For example, the "don't get ahead of yourself" or "hopefully it all works out" type comments, followed by a list of things that could go wrong or aren't so great about your idea or news. Or there are the 'compliments' that are back-handed. The kind that snuff out your flame of excitement. You can almost hear the record scratch in your head. And it stings. What's worse, is hearing a person you've shared some news with accuse you of 'bragging'. Ouch. So why does this happen?
First and foremost I want you to ask yourself: have you ever met a secure, confident, accomplished person that acted jealous or bullied a friend? Exactly. Someone that has a lot going on for themselves has no room for jealous behaviour. Successful, happy people that are secure with themselves and their achievements often want the same for others. Individuals that feel threatened or subconsciously intimidated by you will attempt to bring you down to their level- only so they can feel better about themselves. And in feeling shame in your pride, you let them.
Next time you are made to feel shame regarding an exciting venture (new goal, business, idea, trip, etc) take a mental note, better yet- write a list. Write down all the reasons why you feel GOOD about your goal, as well as other qualities you bestow. Then try to list the ways the other person's behaviour is affecting you. Does this person's opinion affect whether or not you will go forward with your plan/idea? Does their opinion affect your relationship with them? Is this person in a position in their personal/financial standing to give sound advice? If your answer is yes to any of these, it may be worth putting your big-girl pants on and having a chat. If not, move on. It's obviously not worth losing sleep over.
Remember that as ugly as jealousy is, none of us are perfect. We are all capable of it, but it is important to be self aware. Expressing envious behaviour only makes you appear lesser than to others. Lead by example and aim to lift others and encourage their endeavours as you would want from them.
Do you follow us on Instagram?
[caption id="attachment_105144" align="alignnone" width="100"]