We want the perfect partner. The perfect partner for us.
Someone who has it together, is ambitious and a knock out lover. We want our other half, our complimentary part.
But the thing is, no one is perfect. We all have battle scars and tragedies in our past. We all have pain. We all have darkness. It is these experiences that make us the amazing people that we are. What doesn't kill us etc. We know how that goes. And we know that our past mistakes and foibles give us the strength (and sometimes the humour) to keep on going.
We are flawed. We are damaged (but not broken). We are awesome. We get up each and every day and rock the best versions of ourselves we can muster. We're great people.
We aren't really looking for a perfect Prince or Princess. Although we don't admit it, we are looking for someone as banged up as we are. We want someone who can help us through when sh*t gets messed up and we know it is someone like us because s/he has been through sh*t of their own.
We want someone to take on the world with us, who can help us grow. We want someone to love us because of our flaws, not in spite of them. Our perfect person, is far from perfect.
You'll never judge each other
When we're with someone as screwed up as we are, judgements go out the window. People make mistakes. No one knows that better than you. Even after you really screw up, you'll be met with understanding and not judgement. You'll find someone who has been there too.
This love will not throw past regrets in your face. This love wants to help you achieve better for yourself, whatever that looks like. It does not want to change or fix you -- those things aren't necessary.
You can bottom out together
You take on life together. Pilot and co-pilot. Most of the time, this is fun. But this is also key when you hit your lowest depths. You see yourself reflected in his/her eyes and you know you've still got a partner. S/he will take your hand and you will rebuild together. Neither of you are strangers to how crappy life can be so you help each other through.
You can function in your dysfunction
You're both screwed up but you work. You can make sense of each other. Your relationship doesn't make sense to the outside world but that doesn't matter. It makes sense to you.
Finding the right love isn't finding the perfect love. It is finding the one that works for you.
You both have a past
You know your past has made you who you are. Good, bad and ugly. But you also know you can't be defined by that past.
Ending up with someone as messed as you isn't a punishment for this past. It isn't settling. It is finding another brave soul who understands.
You're both deeper
The more you've stumbled in life, the more empathetic you become. You can look at someone's pain and understand. You feel things deeply. You embrace and inhabit every moment you share together. Neither of you live at the surface.
You've gone through hardships and are more self aware
The best part about being f*cked up, is you know it. You know yourself. You know your strength and you know what you can handle. Your character has been tested and you've both passed.
Before you go looking for love, master this last point: love yourself first. Look at those scars and those deep, dark corners and experiences. Love them. You've made it. Once you embrace all that, you can find your complimentary part -- your messed up, battle worn partner.
h/t: Elite Daily