Make Me Wait: Bringing Back Seduction in an Age of Instant Gratification

"The best kiss is the one that has been exchanged a thousand times between the eyes before it reaches the lips." There is something in that first kiss after imagining it for so long, in that first exhale when you're finally in the arms of one you desire. But in a world where people often meet online and sext before they've ever been exposed to the other person's scent or presence, have we lost the ability to yearn for another person? Not that we shouldn't have the freedom to interpret sex-positive in any way that makes us feel good, but in losing the long seduction, might we have removed one really hot element of sex and courtship from our human experience? I have a female friend who swears that if a man will wait for you, he doesn't truly desire you, that desire should make a man a little crazy and incapable of holding back. But I have a male friend who says, "She's wrong, your friend. For the right woman, you will always wait." The key is knowing enough about her to make that call. That takes longer than a conversation in most cases. And most women I know would agree that longing is one of the sexiest parts of entering a new relationship. The fantasies and teasing, the shyness and flirtation. The kisses that almost happen and then the glance away. Those moments give us butterflies and the tension that we unleash when we finally leap the space between and feel that lightning strike of connection. What is seduction apart from the mental and emotional touching before we get to the physical? The wooing time tells us a lot about our potential partner, these slow movements towards one another. Every little text or touch has meaning during these days. A p.s. on a text can make you smile. We will never be so attentive to the significance of every detail in the way we interact. Savour it, even if it feels like a tease. It isn't, it's the music before the dance begins. By the time we get to sex, we know something about the rhythm of our partner with us. And that can make for delicious, mind-blowing sex. What was your most fulfilling sex with someone you'd just met or been seduced by? Come on, share!      

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