Male Athletes Are Obsessed With Each Other's Schlongs

Dr. Moriss-Roberts interviewed 8 male athletes, 4 gay, 4 straight, for his PhD research about behaviour in the locker room. His findings? Everyone is obsessed with everyone else’s wang. It seems that in all cases, penis size had a direct correlation to how that player was treated socially and professionally. cockocracy5 With a title like, “Cockocracy: Size Matters in the Locker Room” the article has an overwhelmingly scientific air about it. And with such a wide scope of interview subjects, the findings seem pretty irrefutable. Also, since Dr. Moriss-Roberts is a podiatrist, the trouser snake hierarchy of locker rooms is a very logical and obvious subject for him to tackle. cockocracy Okay, now that I’ve got that bout of sarcasm out of my system, the article does actually make a lot of sense. I’m not saying his scientific approach is incontrovertible, but everyone’s heard the phrase “a pissing match” and it is a pretty common trope that men’s dong-size reflects some sort of message about the man. So if men generally feel pressure about his love muscle’s size, it’s unsurprising that there’s some sort of penile politics in professional sports. cockocracytumblr_mewtpxmzxb1rypkdp A final word on meat hammers: when it comes to a woman’s opinion at least, it’s not the size that matters, it’s what you do with it that counts. (well, size kind of matters – sorry, it’s true.)

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