Men Confess: The Real Reasons Why They Don't Message You On Tinder

That moment when you find a match on Tinder, your dream guy. He's smart, handsome, witty, sweet. He's totally ticking every box. But he's not messaging you. Your patience wears thin, you go for it. "Hey, I see you're a football fan. Maybe we could catch a game sometime?" You really don't know anything about football but by the time he finds that out you'll hopefully have a ring on your finger.

You're pretty pleased with your opening line, but hours go by and nothing. You remain hopeful, but soon enough your white picket fence fantasies are shattered. He didn't message you.

This is totally bad online dating etiquette! It's like the equivalent of a dude eyeing you across the room, walking over to you, standing very close to you and then...awkwardly waiting there beside you before walking away. Rude! You want to send him a sassy second message, but don't want to appear like it bothers you. Why did this happen? Is there something wrong with you? Is there something really wrong with him? We investigate the honest truth about Tinder d-bags, and if they are really d-bags at all.

Reason #1: The Basics

Guys don't like openers that involve the types of questions they have received over and over again. Because Tinder is a platform that doesn't allow for a detailed profile, matches will often ask the same "Get To Know Each Other" questions, "How long have you lived in LA?" "What do you do for work?" It becomes tedious for men who usually look at your pics and are ready to meet you pronto. Women typically enjoy more of a back-and-forth. There is nothing wrong with getting to know someone before jumping into a first date, but for some men, it's boring.

Reason #2 The Implied Risk

It's often a worry for guys when it comes to online dating that girls are simply messing around and don't really want to meet or date. If a guy has been through a few "mess around" scenarios with women, their trust level will plummet and it can be hard to convince them you're for real. While women are discerning at take their time to get to know someone so they are not disappointed when they meet, men are worried the time they are investing won't end in a meeting. And a meeting is where they can discern if they're wasting their time. See what I mean?

Reason #3 Swiping Benders

Sometimes men go on swiping benders. These are often caused by excessive drinking, a bad break-up or a killer combination of the two. They may wake up the next day with little recollection of the mass matches they made, or are too shy and sober to respond. In any case, it is not your fault if you have fallen victim to a serial swiper.

Let us know your Tinder horror stories! Leave a comment below!


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