There are many reasons people cheat when in a monogamous relationship. It is easy to say that there were problems or that the relationship was a mess before cheating but sometimes, there is a simpler answer. Sometimes, a person just wants to. They want to be outside their relationship, they wanted something new, something different from the same old, same old.
There is a growing body of evidence showing that some married women cheat without ever planning to leave their husband. They love their husbands, they just wanted something different.
It isn't that cheating only happens when a relationship is going down hill. Sometimes cheating happens because sometimes monogamy isn't that much fun. Think about it. Having sex with new people can be fun and exciting. You may totally love sex with your husband, it may be fun and exciting but it will never be 'new.'
Monogamy may be your bag, you may want to spend the rest of your life with your partner but that doesn't mean you won't still find other people attractive and it doesn't mean that you won't occasionally wish to hook up with someone else. I can't decide the morality of it all for you, but I can tell you this is a normal way to feel.
Most couples take a break when things start to go down hill. When problems or things that need to be worked out. But is it possible for two people who love each other to decide together that they want to sleep with other people and take a vacation from one another?
Assuming you and your partner agree on the terms, here's how, according to Women's Health, taking a break
can cheat proof your relationship:
1. Creating parameters ensures the hiatus fits that's comfortable for both of you.
Are you going to date other people or just be physical with other people? Seeking only physical intimacy is a safer bet because if you spark an emotional connection, that might not be something your partner is prepared for. If you date someone new, as opposed to just having casual sex, it makes your hiatus seem too much like a break—or an excuse to take a trial run on your relationship's time.
2. Setting a time limit prevents the relationship from entering unwanted territory.
If there isn't one, you're transitioning into a polyamorous or an open relationship. You want to break for long enough that you can let yourself actually enjoy someone else without an anxiety-producing time frame. If you're going to commit to a hiatus, it should be long enough to be worth your while. But remember: Going for longer than a few months may start to feel too much like you're hiding from other issues.
3. You'll get the chance to improve communication and openness.
Will you be open to talking about your experiences, or will that make one of you too jealous? This really depends on what kind of relationship you have. If you're the type that tells each other everything, then it's best to get it out in the open. But if it will bother them more than they'd like to admit, it's not worth rehashing the details. Let those experiences simply be private and personal. The encounters you have when you take a break don't need to be relevant to your relationship.
4. The risk factor allows discussion of how you'd each handle the unexpected.
When a monogamous couple lets other people into their sex life—or separates to see other people—you always run the risk of you or your partner meeting someone else. It's a concern because even when you can't imagine your life without your partner, the appeal of a new relationship—filled with firsts and loads of sex—can get the better of you.
5. Taking a hiatus helps you decide what you want for the future.
The fact is, if you don't end up curing your case of wandering eyes, or at least satisfying that craving by tiding yourself over, then what did you get out of it? Establish expectations before the hiatus. Is this supposed to be the last hurrah before you consider marriage? Or is it just that you want some time to remind yourself that you don't need someone to be able to stand on your own two feet?
What do you think? Can relationships benefit from a hiatus or are the risks not worth the reward?
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