Remember weight Loss is a never ending story .... By Kaz
Well been back from Spain for a week now and last night I had my first Personal training session. We always start with a weigh in and measure ever few weeks. I’d lost 3lbs so took my weight loss to 11lbs total..
This has been over the last 5months..you’d think I’d be jumping up and down but If I'm completely honest my reaction inside was oh crap I’ve eaten badly since back and could have lost more rather than focusing on the ''target'' skirt I tried on when I got back from Spain that fitted me for the first time crazy right.. I know.
I can hear Lisa shouting at me and wanting to shake me to say omg Kaz can’t you see what you have achieved … right that would make sense wouldn’t it? but one thing I’ve learnt these 3 yrs since I initial lost my 4 stone is it’s more a mental battle than physical and one I am still struggling with.
I don’t want to and would love to feel great but honestly I find it very hard. I lost 4 stone nearly 4 yrs ago with Lisa’s training and support, no diet just understanding clean eating but knowing it's ok to have treats but moderation. I loved training, well maybe not during but always finished smiling.. it wasn’t easy and I just didn’t seem to be dropping clothes sizes, I used to get so cross as I was seeing scales going down but clothes weren’t changing and I wanted to feel my body changing… and it wasn’t until the end of 7months and me going to Spain with the gym girls and Lisa that I came back and suddenly saw & felt what id achieved.. Friends and family commented on it to.. It was just those last few pounds that made the difference and it really did.. I could have given up but you just have to dig deep & believe in the process.
I promised myself I would never go back to that size again & I really thought I’d got it sorted even losing my best friend & training buddy to BodyRock I was determined to keep going to prove to myself I had this.. As we all know if you are like me and weight struggles have taken up your life it’s a really hard journey.. towards end of last year I had a few personal problems and just gave up.
I lost all motivation for training and with that I started to going back to old eating habits, this scared me as I thought I’d never head that way again. I thought I’d got it all controlled & really believed id found a new way of life but no I thought I would never ever do this the scales were going up my clothes tight and over a stone went on. I kept trying but I couldn’t find that part of me that wanted it bad enough.
I was lucky that somewhere in me wanted to fight and not go back. I knew if I could get my training back that would help. SO I found a great Personal Trainer Dan. I needed that person to push me. These last 5months have been hard to say the least, it’s been a hell of a struggle, all I kept think was how can it be this hard I’ve done it before I’ve lost 4 stone seriously Kaz you can do this but no, it wasn’t the same, not at all.
I wanted to feel good about me inside and out but I needed to see my clothes fitting instead of it all being tight. It’s funny isn’t it however much you think you want something it’s not always that simple is it. I'm the only one who can do this, my friends, my PT instructor & Lisa these people can’t stop us eating rubbish or make us train we have to find a reason to do it.
I haven’t given up, and I'm so glad I didn’t…
So for me getting back after Spain to try this skirt that was very tight on and it fitting was amazing really amazing it's one I had from the last time I lost my weight so really a mile stone..
The Point is just don’t give up omg please don’t because you are probably so much closer than you think.. I wish we had a crystal ball lol that would be great but we don’t, just keep telling yourself how amazing you are doing and you don’t want to go back it’s so much harder if you do...
I'm not going to fib, as I'm now faced with this next hurdle of being back in the real world, I need to start to trust myself and take the pressure of a bit, I’ve already been upset as I’ve not stuck to my clean eating in Spain, and panicked. I had to stop myself and chill.. I need to feel proud of what I’ve achieved instead of being scared I'm going to put it back on…there is no magic unfortunately for that, but for me I think I need to just be around supportive people who know me, be part of community like this who can share struggles, advice & achievements so people know they aren’t alone.
I am proud I’ve achieved what I have, physically and emotionally I love feeling fit and healthy but I know this yr I have to try and work on looking inside me a bit more and find that same feeling of putting on the skirt with other areas of my life to carry on this story…
Like the title says it’s a never ending story and it’s certainly an interesting one just keep writing it your way -- it's your story no one else’s
Don't give up ... It will happen, it just takes time.
Have a great day.