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We All Need To Rethink Hook Up Culture

June 14, 2015 2 min read

When exactly was it that 'getting laid' replaced 'making love'? Not to say that I think there is anything wrong with casual sex between two consenting adults but I'm not convinced that our moves toward quick and easy isn't standing in the way of forming real connections with other people. Millennial aged folks (and more than a few that came before) have been over scheduled, and over worked as they have been sent in the direction of achieving personal success in the 'world' above all else. At the end of the day, all this pressure and push doesn't leave a whole lot of time for romance. For meeting. For falling in love. For building a life. I certainly believe it is possible to fall in love but all we do seems to push us the opposite way. Hooking up isn't anything new. There have always been people having sex outside the confines of a marriage or committed relationship but our society's attitudes seem to be in a dangerous place. We accept our sexuality but aren't exactly happy about it. Double standards still exist. Women are expected to 'put out' but then shamed if they do. But men don't have it all that easy either. Media bombards them with impossible ideals and images of manliness and male sexuality. The brazenness and accessibility of pornography in this digital age isn't helping either. Our bodies and our connections to them have become fractured. Sex is getting off, it isn't sharing. Again, not a thing wrong with getting off with someone for the sake of getting off but it can also feel so empty. Perhaps what we are really looking for is an opportunity to put down our responsibilities, to strip the facades and bare ourselves to another human being. We want to feel another person, even just for one night. People are talking about rape culture. I am glad people are talking about rape culture. But people should also be talking about hook up culture. Not to stop it, not to send it back into the shadows but to create connection. I know time is sometimes of the essence when a hook up is being planned but if we can all just take a moment, look your hook up partner in the eye. Touch their face, hold their hand. Talk to the person. Our sexual instincts are animal in nature and as such, they are incredible, but our humanity shouldn't be tossed aside for it. Let's stop throwing each other away and connect for real. Even if its only for a short time. h/t: Thought Catalog

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