Today was one of those days that gave me a big A-ha, realizing something I knew a while back but needed a reminder for.
I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let me rewind a little and provide an illustration of my day to day life now that started almost 5 months ago.
I work full time as a pediatric resident in a hospital in Khartoum, Sudan. I work almost 48 hrs a week that might go up depending on need and flow.
My first time residing on my own. So much to take in here having to take responsibility and make decisions for those tiny things I never gave mind to when I was among family and friends back home but I digress.
Social life is almost muted in here with outings limited to restaurants and cafės. lack of nearby gym added to my frustration but forced me to undertake home workout and incorporate things like tabata training and kettlebell workouts. It also forced me to take my smoking habit down to an absolute minimum in order to cope with the aerobic requirement of such type of exercise but more on this in a future post.
Apart from the exhausting work requirements I have also undertaken a self study plan to sit for USMLE which is the American equivalency for my medicine bachelor's degree. So basically I'm required to study everything I already did in college all over again only differently due to the examination format.
The short and the long of it is that my life at the moment could be classified as shitlessly boring!
I recently took a liking to being in the kitchen and found cooking soothing and gives me a sense of accomplishment.
Today I off and predominantly occupied with a feeling of boredom and loneliness. I decided to cook for myself, Figured out an oriental dish of fish would do it for me. I get dressed and down to the supermarket I go. All the ingredients are in my shopping basket then I have this idea to go crazy and fix myself some dessert. My favorite treat for my sweet tooth is konafa, an oriental specialty stuffed with hazelnuts, coconut and Nutella. I'm reluctant and full of guilt but I decide to go on with it.
Back home, all is ready to be served in a couple of hours. I go for a nap and await to break my Ramadan fasting by Maghreb prayer. I'm feeling great about the dish I made.
Time to indulge into a piece of my home made konafa. I examine the platter and the first thought that pops in my head is that this is diabetes served on a dish! I dismiss that thought immediately and go on happily.
Now it's almost a few hours after me enjoying my meal. Suffice to say I gave away the rest of my konafa and my Nutella jar.
As much as any Egyptian, I am a big fan of food and appreciate culinary experience. But through my transformation journey something changed. I haven't lost my passion for food but my passion for working out, sweating and paying my dues if you will far surpassed my love for food.
It's really hard to put it in words but suffice to say that the feeling of my abs tightening with every rep, my quads undergoing that sweet-sour burning sensation after a few sets of jump squats is probably the best experience I ever got in life. It serves as a assurance that I'm in control of my actions, I defy my temptations, evict my inner wuss and above all feeds my hunger for life, my aspiration. Everyday giving me a dose of can-do attitude that seeps into every aspect of my life.
Couldn't be more grateful that I found my thing. I accept that I'll sometimes fall, sometimes I'll fail myself and stand short of my expectations, and some other times life will push me down and haze my vision of the things that truly matter. I've been through the whole crusade before but I found my salvation, the one thing that knocks me down leaving me gasping for air but gives that sweet pride and peace of mind sensation at the same time.
My big A-ha for the day is that through tiny alterations in your day-to-day life you could truly go through a total perspective change and many times the changes are too subtle that you wouldn't realize it until you're put in a situation where your inner voice surprises you with staging a perspective that was totally unannounced for!
Time to get off my butt and deliver some serious punishment to that same body and mind who indulged into that konafa hours ago. Payback time sucker!