Vice has posted an article about a man who has survived on pizza alone for 25 years. Dan is a 38-year-old woodworker in Maryland, who decided in his teens to become a vegetarian, although he hates vegetables so obviously the only option left is a diet consisting entirely of pizza. PLUS, he only eats cheese pizza, because he apparently needed even less variety in his life. He says that pizza is like sex, even when it’s bad, it’s good (isn’t that a Dane Cook joke?). Aside from his diabetes and passing out while driving that one time, it’s really working out for him. SERIOUSLY? Let’s just skim over that horrifying incident, I guess. Not like his eating habits maybe contributed to him having diabetes. When he was diagnosed with diabetes he went to a nutritionist who, shocker, gave him a list of foods to eat that weren’t solely pizza. He ignored him and has continued with his pizza-only diet. Dan said that his dad is the same way; he had a triple bypass surgery and then a week later went out for a steak dinner – and this is somehow a reason for Dan to continue with his preservatives and processed food diet. He's currently seeing a therapist about his food aversion/pizza addiction (he refers to it both ways) so who knows, maybe in the future he’ll end up finally being able to enjoy a burrito or something. I think this story is a bit ridiculous, and it mainly just reminds me about that report of a college student who tried to live off of Ramen ended up getting scurvy. Damn. Now I want pizza.