Relationships: Stay Sexy, Stay Strong and Stay Together

Just like your exercise routine, if you want relationships to run smoothly, you’ve got to work at it to keep seeing results. Same breeds same and change breeds change. The first 6 months to 2 years of your relationships are always the most effortlessly exciting, because the newness creates the passion for you. After that - well, it’s going to take a little work.

“A lot of couples think that if we have to work at it, there is something wrong with us, “ says Sheryl Kingsberg, a doctor of reproductive biology at Case Western Reserve University. “Smart couples, though, know that long term relationship require effort to keep the energy alive.”

If you want to keep your relationship’s engines revving, then read on. We’ve got some strategies. Sexy dynamo Mae West said it best: “I never said it was going to be easy, I only said it would be worth it.” Strategy: Be a showoff Being shy in your own skin can lead to serious issues between the sheets. If you’re obsessing about what you think your body looks like, you’re not fully living the moment. This takes all the fun out of sex. Women in particular tend to let their body blues get in the way of their libido. Ladies, here’s good news; there’s a quick fix. Simply do something that makes you feel sexy before you actually have sex. Get a bikini wax, don your favourite lingerie, or just have a shower and shave. You don’t even have to get naked if that makes you feel too uncomfortable. Throw on a teddy sans underwear, or one of your guy’s t-shirts. Trust this: If you feel sexy and are ready to go, he won’t care what you’re wearing. Strategy: Be good to yourself Staying in shape, eating well, getting lots of sleep and reducing stress are the keys to a healthy life in and out of the bedroom. A healthy and balanced life will help you feel and look better, which increases confidence and this confidence extends to the bedroom. The reverse holds true as well; having a healthy sex life is linked to better overall health. In fact, a recent study reveals that men who have an orgasm two times a week live longer. Nice. Take that one to the bank, guys. Can you say, Honey! I’m home! Strategy: Take initiative You’ve got to make things happen. If you expect great sex to jump out and hit you in the nether regions, you’re going to be waiting a long time. Between work, household chores and family, you’ve got a lot going on. Here’s the truth: Romance doesn’t have to be spontaneous. Real romance (forget fairy-tales, kids!) and moreover, long-term romance takes effort. Send the kids to a sitter, don’t agree to work late again, leave the dishes in the sink - do what you gotta do and rest assured, these little compromises won’t affect your life will and a little time between the sheets will actually make it much better. Strategy: Size matters...and then again it really doesn’t Grand gestures of passion are often the status quo at the beginning of relationships. As time goes on and the comfort level grows, these overtures usually diminish - and that’s OK. Remember, this is real life we’re talking about.

You don’t always have to go big to go home. Guys, sometimes taking out the trash without being asked or cleaning your beard clippings out of the sink is all your gal needs to get in the mood.

Ladies, he doesn’t always want to have to make the first move. This isn’t to say you have to slap on some crotchless panties and set up a pole in the living room. Try rubbing his thigh while watching a movie, or hell - if he’s not getting the message, tell him you’ve got something really important to show him and lead the way. He’ll follow. The takeaway point from all of this is that in real life setting the stage requires thoughtful effort - a sort of caring that you often don't see in Romance films where grand gestures lead the way. If you have any thoughts on this please share them in the comments below :)