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Research Confirms It! Being Single Sucks

July 23, 2015 2 min read

It starts innocently enough. Maybe somebody tags you in that meme with the forty cats coming through the door and the caption "I heard you're 40 and not married yet." Or your buddy who just broke up with her latest boyfriend invites you over to watch Bridget Jones because "I know you get it too." Pretty soon you hate everybody buying condoms and diapers in the damn drug store. But nothing can compare to the moment when science reaches out from between the covers of research journals and confirms that your single life blows. How much? Check it out: 1. Single people "have higher levels of depression, anxiety, mood disorders, adjustment problems, suicidal behaviour and other forms of psychological distress.” That's from the  Journal of the International Association for Relationship Research, not your Aunt Gretchen whose been married since seat belts were optional. 2. Single people are "58 percent more likely to DIE than married people." Say what? Do wedding bands put out some force field that keeps cells from mutating and reckless vehicles on the freeway from seeing you? Apparently so, or something like that, because this stat comes from the September 2006 Journal of Epidemiology and Community. 3. Single people only report a 21% satisfaction with their lives while 58% in committed or married relationships do. Obviously if you're single and happy, you're faking it or just plain deluded. (see Number 1 above, that's possible). This is no old stuff from back when you had to live with your sister forever or stay where you are in your domestic arrangement. This is a 2015 study from the UK’s Office for National Statistics, “Measuring National Well-being: Our Relationships.” 4. Single people toss and turn. Married people apparently float on special clouds lined with all their fulfilled hopes and dreams. Dr. Wendy M. Troxel, an assistant professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Pittsburgh reported in the Wall Street Journal in 2012 that committed couples fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. 5. Single people who stay single too long are more likely to get divorced. Are you f*cking kidding me? So now we have to add a marriage clock to the biological clock? With all that ticking no wonder nobody's sleeping! Thanks Nicholas H. Wolfing for that pep talk of a study titled “Want to Get Divorced? Wait to Get Married, But Not Too Long” in The Institute for Family Studies. Does any of this apply to you? Come on people! Tell us all these stats are wrong! h/t: Elite Daily Do you follow us on Instagram? [caption id="attachment_99757" align="alignnone" width="100"]snapchat snapcode @BodyRockTV[/caption]  

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