Researcher Claims There is No Such Thing as Sex Drive

Apparently we've had sex drive all wrong. Sex drive is not a drive at all but spontaneous desire. Emily Nagoski, the director of Wellness Education at Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts, told New Scientist, that our views on sex drives are outdated. She explains that, " a drive is a motivational system to deal with life-or-death issues, like hunger or being too cold. You're not going to die if you don't have sex." According to Nagoski, 70 percent of men experience spontaneous desire while 10 to 20 percent of women experience it as their main type of desire. In her book, Comes As You Are, she says that "every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world." She reminds us that women shouldn't judge themselves by other people's experiences. In an Op-Ed piece she wrote for the New York TimesNagoski says that the previous models of thought around desire were formulated in the 70's and that researchers are finally coming to the conclusion that sexual desire is not linear. The old way of thinking put desire first, as if it was the force that drove the individual to pursue satisfaction. BUT, that isn't really the way it really happens for many people, especially women. Nagoski explains that women "often experience desire as responsive, emerging in response to, rather than in anticipation of, erotic stimulation. Arousal first, then desire." If you are a women who doesn't really experience desire, don't be anxious about it. As Nagoski says, you aren't broken if you don't experience it. And remember, perhaps most importantly, that spontaneous desire is not necessary for sexual pleasure. Not in the least.  

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