0

Your Cart is Empty

Why Do We Return To The People And Relationships We Know Are Bad For Us?

July 14, 2015 2 min read

What is it that keeps us going back to the people who aren't good for us?

Admit it, you've been there. I know I've been there. In my early 20s I was involved with a much older man. He was married, which came as a shock to me, and he worked very hard to keep me a secret. By the time I found out he was married, he was making plans to leave his wife, AND me, for another woman. Classy guy. This relationship shattered any self esteem I had. I was a 'bigger' girl by society's standards and I figured he was ashamed of me.

To this day, I cannot recall a single time where he told me he thought I was beautiful. Our connection existed only for his benefit. Our intimacy was about his pleasure, not mine. It was hurtful and disrespectful and damaging. My friends reached a point where they didn't even want me to mention his name. They could see what it was doing to me and they had already offered me all they could. They were not able to help me until I left. And eventually, I did leave. But I went back.

A few months would go by and he'd call to say he missed me and wanted to know if he could come over. I'd drop everything, do a quick apartment clean, and wait for his arrival. I did this in secret and with a great deal of shame. I knew how my friends felt about it and I knew they would be disappointed in me. But why did I keep going back? I wish I had an answer. At one point, we'd been over for close to 2 years before I decided that one last go would be okay. Wrong. Over a decade has passed since the beginning of that relationship and I still can't tell you why I went back. Did I hope he would one day love me? Probably. Did I feel undeserving of something better? Likely.

Do we return to people we know are bad for us because it is better than being alone? Our exes know us, right? Even if it is bad and dysfunctional, they know us. And we know them. Maybe sometimes we just need to connect with someone on some level and it is easier to go back to what we already know. Good or bad. Maybe we hope it will be different this time. Maybe s/he has seen the light and realizes how amazing we are. Or maybe it is just that ease of being past the awkward stuff in a relationship.

Are we just bad at making clean breaks or is there something in that relationship dynamic that we find hard to live without? What do you think? Share your thoughts with us, we'd love to hear them.

Source: Cosmopolitan


Leave a comment


Also in BodyRock Store Blog

Image of Bodyrock blog article - What Happens To Your Butt When You Sit All Day?
What Happens To Your Butt When You Sit All Day?

July 14, 2019 3 min read

Do you think your booty looks a little flat? This might be why!
Read More
Image of Bodyrock blog article - 12 Ways To Make Your Belly Flatter By The End Of The Day
12 Ways To Make Your Belly Flatter By The End Of The Day

July 08, 2017 4 min read

Read More
Image of Bodyrock blog article - 7 Ways To Stop Binge Eating In It's Tracks
7 Ways To Stop Binge Eating In It's Tracks

June 22, 2017 2 min read

Do you ever find yourself knuckle-deep in a bag of Cheetos?
Read More

Become a Bodyrocker

Shipping & Delivery
Fast, 2 Day Shipping.
We want you to start your fitness journey with us as quickly as possible, that’s why we send every package to the USA via 2 day expedited shipping with our partners at FEDEX. Once your order is received and processed, it’s just 2 days to get to you once it leaves our warehouse. That’s our commitment and we stand by it.

 

We ship within Canada and the United States via FedEx with expedited 2-Day shipping.

For locations outside of the US and Canada, we ship using FedEx International, which is usually in transit for 5-7 business days, depending on location.

We ship all of our physical products with FedEx, from our warehouse location in Kingston, Ontario, Canada. Signatures are required on all orders.

Returns & Exchanges

BodyRock Equipment

We offer a 30-day return policy, as long as: it is not more than 30 days past the date of delivery; and your item is in its original condition and packaging with the original order number. Refunds will be issued when the equipment is received back to the BodyRock warehouse, minus the original cost of shipping, and the customer is responsible for the costs of return shipping. To request a refund on physical product purchases, please contact us.

Digital Products

We cannot issue refunds on digital goods such as e-books or videos, as these are non-tangible goods that are irrevocable once the order is placed.

Clothing

All of the BodyRock clothing is made to order and so is final sale. If you have any questions about sizing prior to placing your order, please contact us.