I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. Felling like I don’t know where to go. But one thing I’ve learned as a historian is that sometimes we don’t get an answer because we’re not making the right question: maybe what I should be asking myself isn’t where should I go, or where is my life taking me. Maybe the question should be if I wanna follow it.
Follow life. Follow destiny (is this really a thing?).
Sometimes life takes you places you never expected to be –I’m sure that has happened to some of you: you wake up and you’re older and you look around and go “what the hell?”. That’s what’s happening to me now. I don’t know if I lost myself on the way or if I changed. But how could I know? That’s one of those wrong questions… I couldn’t know the answer. But what I can ask myself is if I’m happy being where I am. Or if I’m proud of myself right now.
And it’s funny that I started these few lines not knowing where these letters would take me, and all I was planning on writing didn’t come out quite as I planned, but nothing does, does it? That is the most annoying part of life! And the most beautiful one, I guess… I’ll let you know my thoughts on that when I’m in a better mood (right now it just seems annoying…).
I think –and I might be wrong here –that life is a junction of two things: wars, that you fight with the world and with yourself –and that you don’t always win –and roads, that can take you anywhere you choose to go.
The wars, we know really well where they are: every time we think “the workout is just 15 minutes, c’mon, let’s go” or “I’ll try harder today”. Doesn’t really matter if it’s about workouts or life in general, we wake up, suck it up and fight. That’s who we are.
But there are those damn roads. And to pick one –and trust me on this, there is not just “The One”, there are many “ones” –well, that, for me, is the tricky part. We choose who we want to be everyday, and if we don’t choose a road we like so much at one point, we can always pick another and fight other wars. Every day is a new day.
And I like to think I can follow any road I want, and be whoever I want to be, and whoever I’d be proud of. But the roads you’ll pick? Well, I have no idea where my roads will lead me (sooo annoyinggg!), but I won’t stop running. After all, we are all bodyrockers, and cardio is a must ;)
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