The Victorias Secret Fashion Show aired last night and I’m sure many of you watched. Many of the girls and women who watched were either comparing themselves or putting themselves down because they don’t look like Candice Swanepoel…
Comparison can randomly pop up in your mind at any moment and can leave us in a serious state of feeling doubtful, unworthy and not enough.
Maybe you compare yourself to that super fit girl in yoga class hitting all the hard poses.
Or maybe you compare yourself to your co-worker who just got a promotion and is making more money than you.
Or maybe you compare your skin to that models flawless complexion in a makeup advertisement.
Or maybe you compare yourself to your classmate who got a better grade on an assignment.
Or maybe you compare yourself to that girl who’s sporting a Hermès handbag and Marc Jacobs pumps.
I used to compare myself to everyone and everything… my body, my hair, my clothes, my income, what city I lived in, how many friends I had, my love life… everything! In my head it was a constant competition of mine is better or hers is better…
I think a lot of women do this.
One major thing I used to compare was my body. I wanted to have the perfect figure. I would use the Victorias Secret Fashion Show as inspiration to up my workout game, and I remember specifically how in fashion school we called called the Victorias Secret Fashion Show the superbowl of FIT.
We would all gather together and watch. Glorifying these beautiful women and saying things like “Why can’t I be Adriana Lima?” The day after the show, you can’t find an open piece of equipment in the gym and the amount of people on juice cleanses is insane. Exercise and cleansing are great for your health, but when you are doing these things out of fear, they’re really damaging.
You see, when you compare yourself to something or someone, you are coming from a place of fear.
It’s the ego in your head (your inner mean girl
) telling you that you aren’t good enough. The ego loves to make you feel unworthy and thrives on comparison. The ego cannot survive in a state of love
, so it does whatever it can to make you feel like crap.
When you stop comparing, everything falls into place. Stop comparing and your weight, career, love life, and health will all improve. As soon as I put my ego on mute and focused on what I had, not what others had… I felt free.
Free of judgement. Free to be 100%, authentically me.
Tools to stop the comparison monster…
- Identify why you are comparing. Do you feel inadequate? Do your friends influence competition? Journal and go deep. There’s an underlying reason why you are comparing, you just have to be honest with yourself to figure out what it is.
- Use positive affirmations to boost your confidence and affirm that YOU ARE ENOUGH.
- Meditate for at least five minutes each day to find inner peace. Whatever you are comparing, you already have within you.
- Use the mantra “I AM LOVE, YOU ARE LOVE” whenever you feel a comparing thought pop up in your head. We are all one. We all have enough. We are all beautiful in our own way.
- Look at yourself in the mirror naked for 5 minutes each day (or in underwear, a nightgown, whatever you feel comfortable in). While doing this you get really real with your own body, and at first many negative thoughts may pop up but eventually you will get sick and tired of hating your body and you’ll learn to love it.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Each morning write down 10 things you were grateful for the day before. Doing this will make you realize that you have all that you need.
Appreciate beauty. Know that you are beautiful (yes, you) but the supermodel on the television screen is also beautiful. Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, colors and forms. Appreciate it all.
Stop comparing your behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. Did you know that the Victorias Secret models wear up to 20 layers of makeup on their bodies, to create illusions of more definition and cover every little imperfection? Have you ever looked at an un-retouched or off-duty photo of a model, and noticed how incredibly different they look? Even Cindy Crawford said “I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford.” Victorias Secret (as with all fashion) is about fantasy and illusions of perfection.
- Take care of yourself. Exercise mindfully and nourish your body with real food, never deprive.
- Remember YOU ARE AMAZING, but so is the girl next to you.