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Things Guys Wonder About Your Vibrator

July 03, 2015 3 min read

Vibrators can be mysterious objects to your boyfriend/husband. In all likelihood, they've been curious about one or more of these things but have been too afraid to ask. Wondering what these questions may be? Wonder no longer. Here is a list of 13 things guys wonder about your vibrator compiled by Frank Kobola at Cosmopolitan:

1. Where do you hide it? Do you have a stash? Or is it in a box? Or a fireproof safe? Or would you just roll it up in a sock or shove it under you mattress like it's weed?

2. What is it even like having a sex toy? Sex toys aren't exactly as socially acceptable for men (I think it has something to do with most of them being a disembodied vagina). I can't even wrap my head around owning a sex toy. Like, just sitting in a room and owning it. Going to work, knowing you have a sex toy. Looking your parents in the eye and the back of your mind, you're like, "LOL, I have a sex toy." I legitimately can't comprehend it.

3. Do you even bother just using your hand? Why would you? Is it ... different? Like, pizza versus steak different? Or driving a Bugatti Veyron versus a Kia Soul different?

4. Do you ever not masturbate when you don't feel like getting it out? Are you ever lying lazily in bed and just can't be bothered? I'm pretty sure I'd masturbate half as much if I had to stand up and walk across the room just to get my hand.

5. Has it ever run out of batteries right in the middle? That has to be a terrible feeling. Do you run and grab fresh batteries? Do you send your B-Team (aka your hand) in? Or do you just give up, defeated?

6. Do you have different ones? Do you collect different ones for different situations? Are you like, "TIME TO GO ALL CLIT STIMULATION TODAY"? Do you have one for your butt? 7. Wait, do you name them?Like you would cars or bongs? Do any of them make you sentimental? 8. When you go shopping, is it some Harry Potter shit like the vibrator picks you?Seriously. How do you know which vibrator to get? Do you hold your hands over them until you find one with the right aura? Do you buy the most expensive one? Or is it an impulse buy, like buying grapefruit in the supermarket? 9. Do you go to like, vibrator review sites? Are there vibrator review sites? Are people reviewing these things on YouTube? Or is it just word-of-mouth? Is there a secret woman society that just passes this stuff along? 10. Did you have to smuggle your first one home?I imagine it was basically like getting a fake ID, and you had to go to some sketchy shop and nervously ask for one, and then hide it under your sweatshirt when you get home. 11. Do you ever leave it lying around by accident?Did the cable guy see it? How do you react? Do you pretend it's nothing, or do you scream and throw it into the wall? 12. How often do you wash it? What is vibrator maintenance like? Do they need to be oiled or something? 13. DO YOU LOVE IT MORE THAN ME? DO YOU? Time to spill it: what do you wonder about vibrators?

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