60 year old Kelsey Grammer was spotted on a Miami beach with his 34 year old wife, Kayte Walsh. The two appear perfectly happy. As you can expect, people are getting all worked up over the age difference. The question is: does it really matter? When I was 23 (and for several years following) I was involved with a man 23 years older than myself. There is a long way between 23 and 46. The people who knew about the relationship were disgusted and I became indignant. It wasn't their business and why did it matter blah blah blah. But the thing is, over time, it did matter. I started to realize that he had lived what seemed like an entire lifetime before I was even born. It made me sad. It was a part of him I could never understand, we were raised in different generations. He already had children and wasn't going to be having any more. If I were going to stay in the relationship, I'd have to give up that particular hope for my future. There were lots of unhealthy patterns at play in our relationship and I don't want to dwell on it except to say, I understand how complicated this issue can be. In our connection, it never mattered. Age was a number. I'm an old soul, I can pass but there was still a disconnect, was it a deal breaker? Hard to say. I would have to think, more often than not, that dating someone closer to your own age lends itself to a greater understanding of the other's world view as there are things common in people generationally. And I would think that life goals may be more in line when starting from a similar place chronologically. But obviously, that isn't always the case. My experience with older men has suggested that having children is out of the picture but Grammer and Walsh have 2 children together. There are exceptions. So, does a gap really matter? It would seem that most people believe a large age gap is inappropriate and a more than a little 'gross' but if they are happy, who cares? Common ground is common ground and it can be found with any age range. Maybe I should recuse myself, many of my important relationships have a large age gap. My closest friend is 20 years older, for example. Outside of our discussions of childhood, there is no gap between us at all. You'd never know. I'd have to think this would be possible with a lover. If we truly see the beauty and value in another human, age shouldn't matter. I know people think about being intimate with bodies so much older and aren't sure they could do it, but does beauty really fade with age? I say no. A beautiful person is a beautiful person whether the package is 20 or 80. Yes, there are physical differences but that is all they are. I'd love to know what you think. Does age really matter? Is there such a thing as too old? h/t: Daily Mail
Seeing Kelsey at 65 makes me feel great at the age of 62! If he can land a Thirty Something then more power to him. As for me I was also called a Cradle Stealer, well so much for that thought. We’re Happily Married for 32 years so far!
Marty Dehnert October 31, 2020