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Woman Takes On Tinder Body Shamer In A Powerful, Thought Provoking Way

July 08, 2015 3 min read

Tinder can be a scary and uncertain landscape. People often offer creepy and not always warrented comments on your body. One fella, after a fairly lengthy back and forth, told me that he was only interested in meeting me because I looked like I had 'huge tits.' How is that appropriate? But in the end, no harm, no foul. Goes with the territory. I stopped talking to him and moved on. But sometimes, it goes beyond that. The comments can hit some really painful places. Michelle Thomas went on a date with a man named Simon,  whom she had met on Tinder. It was nice - nothing special, but nice. On her blog she writes: "He bought me dinner. We strolled arm in arm on the South Bank. He walked me to the train station, where we kissed. It wasn't earth-shattering, but all in all it was a fairly standard Pleasant Evening." The next day, while on another date, Michelle received a lengthy message from Simon. He begins by saying, "Thanks for a wonderful evening last night. I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You're cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won't."  He goes on to call her every pet name possible, like 'hun' and 'baby.' He calls her the 'prettiest woman' he has ever seen and claims to adore her. But, he is not interested in having sex with her. He writes:
"Whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God...I really, really am), I can't say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body wouldn't let me down. I don't want that to happen baby. I don't want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I'm not hard."
Oh, don't worry, it gets better:
"I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl because what you have in that mind of yours is utterly unique, and I really really love it. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm trying to avoid bigger pain in the future by telling you now so we don't have to go through that embarrassment. I'm a man... With all the red hot lusts of a man and all the failings of a man and I'm sure of my own body and its needs."
Armed with the knowledge that Simon has a 13 year old daughter, Michelle decided to respond to his hugely inappropriate comments on her blog. Of how it made her feel, she says:
"I'm ashamed to say, for a few moments, it worked. You stirred a dormant fear that every woman who was ever a teenage girl has – that it doesn't matter how funny you are, how clever, how kind, how passionate, how loyal, how determined or adventurous or vibrant – if you're a stone overweight, no one will ever find you desirable."
But her feelings weren't her main concern. Michelle was worried about how such an attitude toward women could impact his daughter.
"What truly concerns me, the real reason I'm responding so publicly, is the fact that you have a 13 year old daughter. A talented illustrator, who collects Manga comics and wants to visit Japan as soon as possible. "I want you to encourage your daughter to love, enjoy, and care for her body. It belongs to her and only her. Praise her intellect, and her creativity. Push her to push herself and to be fearless. Give her the tools to develop a bomb-proof sense of self-esteem so that if (I'll be kind. I'll say "if".) the time comes that a small, unhappy man attempts to corrode it, she can respond as I do now."
She concludes by telling Simon to "unmarriagable arse." I'm all for honesty but Simon's message seems a little much to me. Whatever happened to just being 'not interested' or, dare I say it, ghosting your way out of a second date? What do you think? Was Simon way out of line or did he do the right thing by being honest?   Do you follow BodyRock on Snapchat and Instagram? [caption id="attachment_97794" align="alignnone" width="100"]snapcode @BodyRockTV[/caption]

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