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Your callipygian figure may turn heads and make you the envy of everyone in the room, but it can also cause problems that are a major, well, pain in the butt.
For those of us blessed with bodacious backsides, the struggle is real. Here’s a look at 15 real life challenges that only girls with big booties can understand.
1) Nevermind Those Shorts
Want to wear this season’s adorable little shorts? Forget about it. Unless you go with Bermuda walking shorts, your cheeks will be trying to make an appearance.
2) Buying Dresses Can Be Frustrating
Having to buy dresses to fit your backside can be tricky. This is especially true if you’ve got small boobs to go with your big booty. Sleek looking in the back and bottom, baggy and saggy out front and up top.
3) Forget Shopping Online
Unless you actually enjoy spending all of your time in line at the post office with an armload of packages to return, buying clothes online that you can’t try on first is simply a no-go.
4) Joke’s On You
From Sir Mix-A-Lot to Nicki Minaj to Meghan Trainor, it feels like so many songs are about big booties and it is a pretty safe bet that if you are around when these songs come on, you’ll catch some stares and a few giggles. Keep your head up, they’re just jealous no one is writing songs about them.
5) Skinny Jeans Are Time Consuming
Getting into your favorite pair of skinny jeans is all out war. Better clear your schedule, wedging yourself into these things could take a while.
6) Bum Sweat Is A Thing
Every time you smash a workout, unsightly wet spots appear on your bum that act like a shining beacon, drawing even more attention to the fact that, yes, your butt is big. Nevermind the pools and puddles of sweat that appear in the summer months...
7) What You Eat Goes Straight To Your Butt
Every bite of food that goes in your mouth, gets added to your butt. Thanks for nothing, carbs!
8) Tight Clothing Is Risky
That pencil skirt looks amazing -- just don’t move. Even the smallest movement and you could be popping those seams!
9) Even The Best Pants Wear Themselves Out
Even the finest tailored pant, with the strongest seams, will eventually call it quits. And all that rubbing and chaffing can wear down the fabric. Unfortunately, for those of us with ample backsides, this happens all the time.
10) Wedgies Are Not Just A Childhood Experience
Sure, a third party is no longer administering the wedgie but that doesn’t mean they aren’t happening. Big butts apply their own wedgies on the regular. We can put a man on the moon but we can’t invent underwear that doesn’t wedge?
11) You Can’t Squeeze Into Small Spaces
Whether you’re looking at sliding into that sliver of a seat on the subway, or cramming into the back of a cab with your girlfriends, it’s pretty much a guarantee that your rear will face a tight squeeze.
12) People Are Always Comparing You To Beyoncé, Nicki, Iggy, or J-Lo
As flattering as this can be, it would be nice if people recognized your own attributes.
13) Mix And Match Bikinis Are A Blessing
An automatic larger size for the bottom and whatever size you need on top and you’ve got swimwear that finally fits and looks cute as heck! It’s like your prayers have been answered.
14) You Constantly Knock Things Over
It’s not your fault! The distance can be tough to judge, especially in reverse.
15) You Wouldn’t Trade Your Booty For Anything
At the end of the day, your butt just a part of your glorious, gorgeous self. Own it and work it like only you can! You’re fabulous, don’t forget it.
I hear ya – if I find a pair of jeans that fit my booty and my waist without having to tailor the waist I buy a few pairs…cuz it’s a friggin miracle. And forget ordering online…
I work to keep myself toned and lovely and have accepted that my booty is here to stay. Curves are where it’s at baby!!!
So much agreement with mix and match bikinis. And it’s not just skinny jeans, it’s ALL the jeans. Being short with a big booty means buying pants that are huge in the waist so they’ll fit over my thighs to even get to my butt and then having to hem them, or searching the whole store for the one pair of petite jeans that might fit. And then there’s going to be no selection of them. But if anyone find underwear that Actually covers your whole butt, please let me know. I own exactly TWO pairs of underwear that don’t give me wedgies. They were $34 each. Send help.
Can I get an amen? Especially trying to squeeze into a tight space like a movie theater seat?
Yes all of this rigs like a gong in the middle of my meditation. I have a love hate relationship with my derrière. I’ve gone through great trouble to keep it in check and just one birthday party and it’s all undone, on the plus side it does make my already flat tummy look even smaller. I was just thinking about cutting all the carbs from my diet so I can get my tush back on track, I’m still gonna do it but maybe I l’ll make a little space on my schedule for one scone or biscuit a week. Thanks so much for this it helps to know I’m not the only one.
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Linda
April 12, 2018
This is a response to Cory‘s thing about finding underwear for a bit but I have gone to using what used to be called a cycling shorts but they make them in underwear not boy shorts which are only going to make it halfway down my ass but the ones that actually have sort of a half tall coverage and they’re fantastic in the summer especially if you buy light weight so you can wear them under address and if you get a little sweaty your thighs don’t have that sticky rubbing at the top because the fabric clients nicely ! They feel amazing on and it also illuminates the look of a scene when you’re in something that’s really snug. Good luck we got to stick together