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Your callipygian figure may turn heads and make you the envy of everyone in the room, but it can also cause problems that are a major, well, pain in the butt.
For those of us blessed with bodacious backsides, the struggle is real. Here’s a look at 15 real life challenges that only girls with big booties can understand.
1) Nevermind Those Shorts
Want to wear this season’s adorable little shorts? Forget about it. Unless you go with Bermuda walking shorts, your cheeks will be trying to make an appearance.
2) Buying Dresses Can Be Frustrating
Having to buy dresses to fit your backside can be tricky. This is especially true if you’ve got small boobs to go with your big booty. Sleek looking in the back and bottom, baggy and saggy out front and up top.
3) Forget Shopping Online
Unless you actually enjoy spending all of your time in line at the post office with an armload of packages to return, buying clothes online that you can’t try on first is simply a no-go.
4) Joke’s On You
From Sir Mix-A-Lot to Nicki Minaj to Meghan Trainor, it feels like so many songs are about big booties and it is a pretty safe bet that if you are around when these songs come on, you’ll catch some stares and a few giggles. Keep your head up, they’re just jealous no one is writing songs about them.
5) Skinny Jeans Are Time Consuming
Getting into your favorite pair of skinny jeans is all out war. Better clear your schedule, wedging yourself into these things could take a while.
6) Bum Sweat Is A Thing
Every time you smash a workout, unsightly wet spots appear on your bum that act like a shining beacon, drawing even more attention to the fact that, yes, your butt is big. Nevermind the pools and puddles of sweat that appear in the summer months...
7) What You Eat Goes Straight To Your Butt
Every bite of food that goes in your mouth, gets added to your butt. Thanks for nothing, carbs!
8) Tight Clothing Is Risky
That pencil skirt looks amazing -- just don’t move. Even the smallest movement and you could be popping those seams!
9) Even The Best Pants Wear Themselves Out
Even the finest tailored pant, with the strongest seams, will eventually call it quits. And all that rubbing and chaffing can wear down the fabric. Unfortunately, for those of us with ample backsides, this happens all the time.
10) Wedgies Are Not Just A Childhood Experience
Sure, a third party is no longer administering the wedgie but that doesn’t mean they aren’t happening. Big butts apply their own wedgies on the regular. We can put a man on the moon but we can’t invent underwear that doesn’t wedge?
11) You Can’t Squeeze Into Small Spaces
Whether you’re looking at sliding into that sliver of a seat on the subway, or cramming into the back of a cab with your girlfriends, it’s pretty much a guarantee that your rear will face a tight squeeze.
12) People Are Always Comparing You To Beyoncé, Nicki, Iggy, or J-Lo
As flattering as this can be, it would be nice if people recognized your own attributes.
13) Mix And Match Bikinis Are A Blessing
An automatic larger size for the bottom and whatever size you need on top and you’ve got swimwear that finally fits and looks cute as heck! It’s like your prayers have been answered.
14) You Constantly Knock Things Over
It’s not your fault! The distance can be tough to judge, especially in reverse.
15) You Wouldn’t Trade Your Booty For Anything
At the end of the day, your butt just a part of your glorious, gorgeous self. Own it and work it like only you can! You’re fabulous, don’t forget it.
There’s your age, and then there’s your fitness age. Find out how to calculate yours to figure out how old your body is compared to your chronological age.
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